I hate being called "nurse"!!!

[betagirl]

Velogirl - I've had friends admit to me later on that they didn't want to ask me for advice for a problem they were having out of fear that I'd think they were seeking free psychological care. On the flip side, I'm always leery to provide advice out of concern that people will think I'm analyzing them. I usually add in a disclaimer that I'm acting as a friend, not a psychologist. But still.

[DebW]

I have the opposite problem. I am a scientist and do research and publish papers, so people assume that I have a PhD when I actually do not. Among colleagues, no one uses titles, so sometimes other scientist I work with only find out years later that I'm not a PhD. I do have to check my name badge carefully at meetings and make sure it doesn't say Dr. But there's never an issue of status or title or research quality, since my work is known and published. Correspondence about my work from people who don't know me almost always addresses me as Dr (probably just to be safe and not insult me if I were a PhD). I correct them if it might be an issue of misrepresenting myself.

If you are a medical doctor and are ignored because of your gender, that's a serious issue. I was a bike mechanic in the 1970s and often was not taken seriously as a mechanic because of my gender. So I feel for you. But in your case it's a far more serious issue of patient outcome, not to mention your years of training.

[Brina]

wow, that would piss me off to no end.

[colby]

I crack up at something in the fitness industry -- coaches who call themselve "Coach Bob" or "Coach Tim" or "Coach Dan." WTF. I'm a full-time coach -- I do this for a living -- and I don't call myself Coach Lorri. I'm also an MBA (and a BFA). Maybe I should be Coach Lorri, BFA, MBA.....

We get the same thing in IT. People who sign with their gazillion certifications, their title, you name it. I rarely sign my last name, let alone my qualifications! Then when I do, I get bitten anyway, because my title is a little deceptive... I have a management type title, but nobody is truly "management" in a small company. Sigh...

I travel with my company (network security software) doing trade shows and such sometimes (answering questions for passers-by and during presentations), and I get the assumption that I'm just a marketing or sales person all the time. "Are you a sales person? Marketing?" "No, I'm an engineer." "Oh, really?" <they take two steps back, shocked by the news> "Yes, now what can I do for you?"

They will happily talk over my head, around me, behind me, next to me, to our MALE sales people or a MALE engineer should there be one. ARGH. I've had this problem with co-workers, too, it's like I have to prove not only that I'm good enough, but that I'm so good that I didn't take the job away from some man... or something. And somehow so many guys remember that one experience they had with that one even SLIGHTLY incompetent woman (probably just a miscommunication in the FIRST place) and hold it against every woman they encounter from then on out. Do they consider all men stupid because of all of the stupid men out there? No, just the women.

Hopefully the trails we are blazing today by even discussing and making people aware of these issues will help the daughters of tomorrow... at this point, it's all that keeps me from strangling people who do it

[velogirl]

Yeah, I get that too. I work in a bike shop. When I answer the phone, there are certain customers who immediately want to talk to one of the guys. Doesn't matter what the question is. Doesn't matter that I know more about riding and bikes and mechanics than half our staff. They insist on speaking with a guy.

Now, just to be a tool, I'll tell them that none of the guys are available but that I'm happy to help them.

[SadieKate]

This thread is making me laugh sympathetically. In our company is a Ph.D in something like statistics. We are a medical software company, not academia. Yet, his voice mail is "Hello, you've reached Dr. John Doe's voice mail." He even introduces himself as Dr. So and So when everyone else just gives their name and follows up with the name of their position, such as "I'm Jane Smith, I'm the medical director." It sounds so very weird to my ears, like he's constantly worried that he appears better than everyone else.

[Lise]

I got a name badge at a conference once that read Dr. Lise H--, PhD. Wow, I thought. I went to either medical school or got a doctorate, all in a blackout! We got it corrected. I was presenting at the conference, so I got to announce, "I am not a doctor, I do not have a PhD..."

[Duck on Wheels]

When I was out on maternity leave, 23 years ago, two colleagues were out doing field work on my project. One was a senior researcher, the other a recent hire. The recent hire was sent out to learn the field from the senior researcher. When they appeared together, everybody ignored the senior researcher and directed their questions and answers to the junior. They also constantly asked whether my senior colleague was a nurse and whether my junior colleague was a doctor. Now guess what their respective genders were. Not hard to guess, huh? Both were social scientists -- excellent ones, though neither has a doctorate. One just got hired into a tenured associate professorship at a Dept. of Community Medicine -- ahead of an M.D. and Dr. Med. with an impressive publication list and a long list of projects and grad students at that very department. Want to guess again which of my former colleagues got the job and what gender the medical and academic doctor was who got passed by? Easy guess again, huh?

Think maybe you don't share those prejudices, that you somehow out of all the many millions within our culture have managed to unlearn them? Try taking a test or two at
http://www.understandingprejudice.org/iat/
It's fun, it's fast, it's anonymous and private, and you might learn something about yourself. I did.

[pooks]

When the paramedics got there, I started to give them a history, when one of them asked me "Are you a nurse?" I said no, I'm a doctor. After that, THEY STOPPED LISTENING TO ME. In fact, they completely ignored me and walked away to check out the patient on their own.

Do you think it's at all possible that when you said, "No," they tuned you out immediately and it didn't register that you went on to say you're a doctor? You know, they'd already dismissed you as "not a nurse" without ever considering that you might be another medical professional? (Just as insulting, actually, but it makes a little more sense than for them to totally disregard a doctor....)

Or am I giving them too much credit?

[Nanci]

Oooh, this made me think of an old joke, let's see if I can get it right:

A man and his son were in a serious car accident. The father was killed, but the son was rushed to the hospital with life-threatening injuries. When the son was wheeled into the OR, the surgeon proclaimed "I cannot operate on this boy- he is my son!" How could that be?

[Blueberry]

Sadly, this isn't just true in the medical field.

I'm an attorney. Most recently, I was attending a deposition in Asheville, NC and one of my male co-workers was taking the deposition. The court reporter assumed I was a paralegal or secretary. She was somewhat taken aback when I informed her that I was, in fact, an attorney for one of the parties.

Not at all uncommon - but sad.

[Triskeliongirl]

I am a scientist, and I remember being at a female colleague's home in Cambridge England on the day she published an important paper in the prestigous journal nature. She took a phone call from a press reporter, who immediately asked if her husband were at home so she turned the phone over to him, only to have him explain to the reporter that indeed it was his wife that he should be interviewing. But in actual fact, I don't feel that I have experienced very much gender bias in my career. Maybe I am lucky, but its never really been an issue for me. Another funny story though, I was once accused of gender bias in a grant review. The grant applicant, not knowing her grant was reviewed by a female, complained of gender bias when it was not funded, so despite the fact that we are both women, I had to be investigated. Gladly, it was determined that I was not biased against my own gender!

[Triskeliongirl]

ok ok I have to flip the coin here. BTW thanks Dr. Fuji for the props to the nurses I am a nurse and while I was working in a pre-op clinic I would enter the room "Hi are you Mr. Smith?" the cold snotty response would sometimes be "I'm DR Smith." OOOOkaaay hi Dr. SOB I mean Smith. (Only later to find out most of these doctors were Phd's or vets.) ....:

OK, I have to take offense at this. Why does someone with a Doctor of Philosophy or Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree any less deserving of the title Doctor than a Doctor of Medicine???? Why shouldn't people have a right to be addressed by whatever title makes them comfortable? Isn't the reason you addressed the person as Mr./Ms. Smith to show respect, so why be offended if they inform you that they prefer another title?

[Geonz]

I think 'cause in the context of being a nurse, and being told "no, I'm *doctor* X," as if "so you don't know anything I don't already know..."

The prof in my freshman year who was not a Ph.D. made *sure* everybody knew that he was proud to have gotten his position without the letters; that he had so many other things he'ddone that he could do that.

Ah, security :-)

[crazybikinchic]

I worked with a guy at one time that was so impressed with his RDH (registered dental hygienist) title, that he had it on his credit card. I anyone gave a rat's hind side. Then, there are the dentist that go to a restraunt and give there title as dr. Again! I'm considering Pharmacy school. I can't imagine being called Dr. even though I will have a doctorate degree (unless you make me mad, then you will call me Dr.)