Dear So and So

[yellow]

I love this thread! It makes me laugh!

This is still my favorite, though I really like fixedgeargirl's Publishers Clearinghouse one alot, too.

Dear Person Spinning next to me:

Ever heard of Beano?

[Brandi]

Dear Dh,
Even though you are a really great man and I will love you with all my heart to the day I die, COULD YOU PLEASE PICK UP YOUR SH*% AROUND THE HOUSE! Thanks!
Your loving and wonderful wife!

[Tuckervill]

Dear T-Ball Parent:

We know your little angel is the next Derek Jeter and we know that it's essential that the major league scouts have access to his entire baseball record all the way back to when he first wrestled three teammates for the ball in right field. But, would you PLEASE give us 24 hours after your last game before you begin emailing about updating the team standings on the website?

We also know that his grandmother will be absolutely mortified if she happens to see a grass stain on the knee of his uniform in his team pictures. But we just don't care.

Signed,
Youth Baseball Volunteer

[Nanci]

Dear Eagles,

I know you are just birds and it would be anthropomorphic to assign human emotions to your instinctual behaviour. That being said, I woud like to thank you for sharing your lives with the world for the past several weeks. Imagine that, two birds, more popular than anything, anyone, ever, in history, except for the Pope. Everything you did, every action you took, was so caring and touching and loving and I was proud to be one of the millions of people who came to think of you as family. I had such high hopes for your potential offspring. I looked forward to watching the tiny babies grow into beautiful young birds- to seeing them fledge and leave the nest, perhaps to get a glimpse of them when they returned. I wish it had worked out that way.I spent hours upon hour participating vicariously in your private lives- neglecting work, missing sleep, rushing to check in first thing in the morning for any bit of news, staying awake far too late, just because I couldn't say goodnight.

I have two birds that live with me, two tiny pigeons, hardly what you would call distant relatives of yours, but so similar that every single thing you did was already familiar to me because of my own birds. As much as you are different, you are more the same. It comforts me to know that you don't feel emotion like we humans. It would break my heart if you did. If only we could all experience such a calm, loyal, caring relationship...I don't know what happens to older birds, those whose reproductive days are over. Pigeons- hey, in the wild, they are lucky to make it to two years of age. As a beloved pet, they may live to 25. Who's to say which life is more desireable? Is it better to live free, but exposed to the cruel whims of Mother Nature, "red of tooth and claw," or to live ten times as long as a pampered, but never free, pet? You're at the top of the food chain, so I guess I know how you'd vote. My little guys- I think they're happy- I hope they are. When I hug my birds tonight, please know, if I could, I'd be giving you a hug, too.

Love,

Nanci

[maillotpois]

Aaargh, Nanci. No fair makin' me cry.

[Lise]

Aaargh, Nanci. No fair makin' me cry.

Yeah.

Dear Creator Who Made Nanci,

She makes us cry all the time. But she is a very good writer, so we tolerate this.

Us gals at TE.

[shadon]

would you please choose this month to be late with the period? Please...really...I'm ridin' my bike a *really* long way...for a really good cause. I'd really like to not have to deal with tampons.

Thanks...really...after mid month...go to town!

[DrBee]

Aaargh, Nanci. No fair makin' me cry.

Geesh Nanci.

*fishdr says to coworkers*...yah yah - I just put eyedrops in to help my contacts... that's not tears.... really.

[doc]

would you please choose this month to be late with the period? Please...really...I'm ridin' my bike a *really* long way...for a really good cause. I'd really like to not have to deal with tampons.

Thanks...really...after mid month...go to town!

Go to the thread entitled Diva cup. Or search diva cup, moon cup and keeper. Then you won't have to use a tampon ever again. You also won't have to worry about that very unpleasant dryness when tampons and hormone changes are mixed together. G'luck

[Bad JuJu]

This sure is one emotional roller-coaster of a thread--I'm laughing and crying and laughing again and ..... but it's all good venting!

[bikerchick68]

Dear Potential Dates,

I'm looking for normal. By "normal" I mean emotionally healthy, has a job, loves mom but isn't looking to marry her, enjoys more than just sports on TV and perhaps even gets off the couch oh say, 3 times a week, doesn't think online porn is "cool", and realizes that belching and farting are NOT charming. Bonus points if you own a bike or like to garden or know how to dance.

Regards,

Women of the World

[Tater]

Dear Powers That Be;
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for stepping in earlier today. See, I was at work, popped into TE to read a couple threads at lunch and came across this one. Your timely intervention prevented me from braying laughter that for certain would have not just startled the people in the cubes next to me, but most likely the whole mapping department on the fourth floor! How I managed to have tears leak out the sides of my eyes, but not squeak, snort or guffaw as I read about Snap and her Corgi, and Nuthatch and her dog fur blankets, is beyond me.
Thanks again,
The Silent Snicker

[Duck on Wheels]

Dear Calendar,
Could you please happen to have an extra week this month? And next month? And so on? And maybe a few extra days per week and hours per day? I need to be out on my bike, and working at the computer, and running errands, and knitting a baby shower gift, and keep up with TE and and and ... oh, and sleep. I'm running out of time here!
Slowpoke

[Lise]

Dear Potential Dates,

I'm looking for normal. By "normal" I mean emotionally healthy, has a job, loves mom but isn't looking to marry her, enjoys more than just sports on TV and perhaps even gets off the couch oh say, 3 times a week, doesn't think online porn is "cool", and realizes that belching and farting are NOT charming. Bonus points if you own a bike or like to garden or know how to dance.

Regards,

Women of the World

And please know that I can be a strong, capable, feminist woman and like the door held for me and my chair pulled out.

[DrBee]

Dear Dove chocolate makers,

Please stop making your chocolate taste so good. And why do you have to package them so conveniently??? As I sit here typing this, there are 8 of your eggs sitting on the desk calling to me. Resissssttttt.... I know I can do it...... oh well .... yummmmmmm.

Guess I'll ride an extra mile tomorrow.