OT: My world is upside down

[fixedgeargirl]

Long, sad story short, stbx has filed a custody suit against me for our 6 yr old DS . He makes twice what I do, his mom owns and pays the mortagage on the house we live in and she owns and makes payments on his car. He makes twice what I do, yet has virtually no expenses. I work part time so I can pick up/drop off DS at school. His mom is paying his attorney. His is the only name on the title of my car. My two custom bikes are *technically* the property of his company. By standard court order, I cannot move out of the house w/DS until the custody order is complete. The way the petition is worded I would have to pay him child support . I can't sleep, I have trouble eating. At least I got a ride in before I opened the envelope from the attorney .

[Running Mommy]

Oh man that just stinks!! I have nothing really to add as far as advice... But I just want to send you my thoughts and prayers. I'll be thinkin about ya! My cousin went through that mess a year ago and it was ugly. Not to mention costly. I wouldn't wish it on anyone! Take care of yourself. keep riding- it will help clear the mind!
Take care!!!
Denise

[Trek420]

fgg, I am so sorry. Break ups always stink but this takes the cake. You are in my thoughts and these things are so tough but it will get better in time.

Do you have a lawyer?

This looks like a good resource too http://womansdivorce.com

+ what others have sed, keep movin'

[pkq]

You are in a really tough spot. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck with it all!

[allabouteva]

That's just so grossly unfair! I hope that things work out when you get to court... Trek420 is right about asking if you have a lawyer...

My thoughts are with you, and hope it all goes well, and that you get to keep custody of DS.

Kindest regards,

e

[Surlygirl]

I'm so sorry. This is what I told my friend going through a similar situation. Get the best lawyer you can afford.

[Lise]

I am so sorry to hear about it all. I can only second what others have said about the lawyer. And to stay active--sometimes the wisdom of the body comes through to the mind in tough times. Best wishes, Lise

[bouncybouncy]

so sorry to hear i am not here to preach or tell you what to do but i do want to share and hopefully you will have fate...
i did not have a child but i did have the lack of finances to acheive any sort of fair rebuttle (sp ) my X took my savings and put it into stocks (which i did not have access to...little did i know he had done that) anyway after our divorce i was struggling to get by and WAITING for the money he had promised (haha niave me!!!) it was not that much but it was enough to fill the fridge, give me a little sense of pride and pay my parents back for money i had borrowed to get an apartment...so i went to a lawyer (a good one) and explained my situation...he said i was in a win - win situation!!! something they could garnish his wages for now, because he was a "good" lawyer his price was high (but not too high!) i was able to get the money, pay my parents back, fill up my pantry, get a 1 year membership to the local gym (i NEEDED some relief!) AND get an old bike of mine tuned up and spit shined!!!! and the lawyer got his share...

i do not know your full situation and it sounds like he has quite support in mommy dearest...but hold your head up high and DO try to find a good lawyer who is on your side all the way!!! ***they do exist!!! we are stronger than we we think and you will come out of this a better person if you keep your priorities straight...

good luck and hugs......

[Pax]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation.

Seems one of the things we women do is try to play nice and/or feel powerless in these situations...I'll third the advice of finding an excellent lawyer.

[doc]

Sending positive, supportive, and cheerful thoughts your way. Hang in there.

[fixedgeargirl]

Thanks everybody! TE has been a great community for me, ya'll are so supportive so I came here with a sampling of my plight. My income is paltry, but just enough above poverty level that I don't qualify for much of anything, including legal aid. As you can see, I am at an extreme disadvantage here.

The beauty of it is that through this I am finding out that I do have quite a support network among the friends I have made in my brief time in this city. They have been generous, supportive, funny and informative.

My heartbreak in all this is that this likely means I won't be able to move back home to Colorado any time in the forseeable future. Leaving my son is not an option. I pine for home every single day: cool air, solitude, mountains, single track right from the front door, my parents, skate skiing....

Thanks for letting me ramble .

[mtbdarby]

FGG,
You may want to check with your city/county social services. Some states provide free legal fees to those on tight incomes, and at the very least, should be able to recommend a good attorney. Just a thought.

My heart goes out to you. I would have sold the shirt off my back to pay for attorney fees to keep primary placement of my son and it worked. Don't forget to pray - God answers in mysterious ways sometimes, but he always answers. I'll be praying for you and keep us posted.

[bikerchick68]

ah jeez... I SO empathize with you... I got divorced in 2004... I had no friends who'd ever been divorced... they were either all still married or still single... and no one who really understood a lot of what I was feeling... heck even I didn't understand all of what I was feeling... I found this site and joined... it helped...

http://love.ivillage.com/messageboards

scroll down and there are different boards... including one called "Surviving Divorce"... it's other people living thru the same issues, feelings, betrayals etc... hugs, I sure do know how incredibly tough it is...

[DrBee]

Your situation sounds miserable. Just remember that things always work out in the end. Sometimes the road to get there is not so great, but it will work out. Use your local network of friends and try to get a better paying job to help you afford a good lawyer. Eaisier said than done - I realize. Good luck and my thoughts are with you ((( )))

[ACG]

FGG, so sorry, know that we are all here for you to vent. (FYI)I sent you a private message. I am going thru similar thing, but my kids are old. I am often stressed by it, and like to tell friends who as my how it is going. If I didn't have a bicycle I'd be and axe murderer. Ride your bike, take one day at a time.