Sad Day for Mother

[OakLeaf]

I wish I knew what to do to keep my husband from going down that road.

[Crankin]

This is definitely a mental health issue.
Ah, PCPs are not always that well versed in treating these issues. At the least, you might try to find a gerontologist MD, or at least a mental health specialist (counselor, social worker) who works with the elderly. Even if a therapist can't prescribe, he or she will have a connection with someone who can and they can provide a wealth of assistance for your mom and you.

[GLC1968]

I'm so sorry, Bikechick, that's got to be so hard to watch.

What's oddly related is that I've fallen quite a bit in the past few days (I'm still on crutches) and I'm finding myself sore and bruised all over. Just today I was thinking that maybe I'll stop trying to do so much stuff because I'm sick of falling. That won't really happen because I'm even more sick of sitting around, but I can kind of see how things can quickly spiral downward easy enough. Falling sucks and falling repeatedly is demoralizing and frustrating even for people like me who don't have depression issues or who are otherwise healthy.

And your situation is hard for me to imagine as my mom (who is 70, so slightly younger) is still regularly competing in tennis tournaments. I know that my mom put on a little weight and she struggles with various health issues, but she's still highly active and mobile for a woman of her age. I should appreciate her more, I think!

[NbyNW]

Just wanted to post something inspirational on the topic of staying active into your golden years:

Johanna Quaas

[Owlie]

((Bikechick)) It can't be easy.

[Bike Chick]

Just wanted to post something inspirational on the topic of staying active into your golden years:

Johanna Quaas

Wow! That's a woman that never stopped moving. I just had to post that one on facebook

No, it's not easy watching Mom's decline. I've been so vocal about her sendentary lifestyle over the years that she will get defensive with me when I try to encourage her. I spoke with her nurse last night and he said he thinks Mom believes that she's done something wrong and her punishment is the nursing home and physical therapy. She's lost her ability to think rational or carry on a conversation. It's very sad.

It's also interesting to note that Mom has lost 20 pounds since her admission in February. It's alarming but the reality is that Mom has always been a closet eater. She would pick at her food during her meals but had cookies and candy stashed all over the kitchen--she enjoyed the sugar (who doesn't). She's still picking at her food but now she's not sustaining herself on cookies between meals.

Crankin, I wanted to take her to a geriatric specialist and have her evaluated but the closest one is over an hour away and it would be too hard on her to transport her there.

Miss Jean, I feel the same as you. I don't want my children to go through this with me and have told them so. They joke with me about it but I told them in 20 years, it won't be a joke.

Thank you all for your support and for relaying your own experiences. It helps a lot to know other people have gone through this too.

[WindingRoad]

BikeChick ))))))Hugs(((((((

It is hard no doubt about that. Like Miss Jean my father is also struggling with Alzheimer's Disease. Of course my mother is the one having to deal with things first hand which is super hard she isn't as young as she once was (though you cannot tell her this). They live in a rural area so my Mom does a lot of manual labor around their property which is good that it keeps her busy but I think she is overdoing it much of the time. My Dad also seems content just to sit and eat and watch TV. He watches the same shows over and over. It's sad because my Mom feels she is losing her husband and misses him like he was. He just thinks she picks on him all the time to take 'those damn pills' so it is hard on both of them. My Dad is on antidepressants too as he has a long history of issues of depression and bipolar disorder. BikeChick it does sound like you mother is suffering from depression but she is also her own person and short of forcing her to take pills, you can't make the decision for her and you shouldn't blame yourself for the choices she has made.

I guess I just wanted to say I feel for you and you aren't alone. If you ever need to rant a bit IM me

I can't help remembering something my 85 year old grandmother used to say at times like this: "Old age ain't for sissies" That saying makes a lot more sense now that I'm older.

[emily_in_nc]

Take care, I know I plan on riding my bike until I can't anymore, then I'll probably get a recumbent tricycle.

Ditto, ditto, ditto!

[Fredwina]

It might be worth Taking Crankin's advice. About three month ago I had to move my 84 year old from Swampeast Misery(across the river from Little Egypt) since she couldn't live alone anymore. The place we found is in Memphis TN. she now has a geriatrician as her primary care MD (plus my cousin, The MSN) and is doing a lot better. She 's sitting next me to right now

[Crankin]

I was just going to say this. The hour travel is worth it; call the gerontologist's office and make an appt. and then ask about the best way to get your mom there, which will be the least painful for both of you. Do not let the distance or her complaining deter you. Once you meet with this person, they will be able to help you with all of this stuff. It's his/her job. You may have to pay some $ to get assistance in transport, but again, it will be worth it.

I guess i should appreciate my 87 year old dad, who still lives on his own (with roommates my age). He has medical stuff and a few other oddities, but my brother is there to handle it and overall, he's pretty good. Everyone in my family, except my mom, lived to their early 90's, with full mind and sort of OK body (none of them were active, in the sense that we all are). My mom's father worked up until the day he died at 92, and there were tons of scrap metal sales people vying for his accounts at the end, like "when are you going to retire or die?"