Another ex question

[tulip]

The sooner you get rid of it, the sooner you will really move on. These reminders of him keep popping up. You have control over that. Decide how you are going to do it, and then just do it. If its not financially feasible to send it to him, just get rid of it. It's only stuff.

[lph]

Indecision is fine. We're all different, and what works for you is what will make you feel best. He has no obvious claim to getting it back. I would just say that hanging on to it is the only bad choice.

[Wahine]

Be honest with yourself. Which is going to make you feel worse: the guilt from just giving his stuff away or the aggravation of trying to find some friend of his to either take his stuff or contact him about it? Once you figure it out go with whatever works best for YOU.

I think that roadie gal phrased this perfectly. Think about what is going to be the least emotionally disruptive for you taking into account feelings of guilt and potential stress if there ends up being contact between the two of you.

When my ex and I split, we went back and forth a fair bit where he didn't want to hear from me and I didn't want to hear from him. When we were not contacting each other for emotional reasons, if I really needed something that was at the house (it took a long time before the "stuff" side of things was sorted out), I just sent him a brief and polite to the point email and a neutral drop off was arranged. The stuff that I didn't think of until 1 year later, well a lot of that got thrown away or donated, whatever. And guess what, I don't miss it. So while I was annoyed at first that he had done this with some of my stuff, in the end it realy didn't matter and I was fine without it. So, I would say that if he hasn't mentioned it yet, then he's not really all that attached to it. He could have contacted your mother afterall, he didn't even have to contact you directly in order to get it.