Friendships that you don't drop but wonder

[colby]

I definitely have friends that I've drifted in and out of touch with, that I've met in many different ways. When I look at some of the close friends I've met in my adult life and think of the possibility that we won't always be the best of friends as our lives change and we physically move or time just waxes and wanes, I just want to know in my heart that they are happy. I would like to be a part of that happiness, but knowing that I WAS a part of it means a lot, life finds a way of working these things out in the end.

I appreciate Facebook for its opportunity to revisit with some of my friends that I did lose contact with over time. I think of the friends I've had as a puzzle, except with different sized pieces. Some of them were around for a short time and might represent a small part of my life, some of them around much longer, but all must be there to see the big picture, or are missed when they are lost. Some of them have ragged edges, too, or might be one of those inside pieces that you have a heck of a time finding the place for.

I definitely have some friends that I feel guilty about not keeping up contact with that I miss, but it's hard to woulda coulda shoulda everything.

And, I now have "make new friends but keep the old" stuck in my head.

[jessmarimba]

ohhh boy. Here's a new one, please help!

So a few nights ago I was talking to a (male) friend that I was close to since middle school but haven't seen face-to-face in about 5 years. He's drunk, and proceeds to tell me that he wished he'd made a move on me back in high school, and that his life had turned out differently. He's been married for 6 years to someone we both went to high school with, and apparently they first started talking when they ended up in the same town for college and he wanted advice about me. Well it's no wonder she's hated me for years! But...what do I do with him now? I can't un-hear all of that! And neither can his wife! Why do people do stuff like this?

Bleh...thanks guys.

[badger]

testosterone and alcohol never mix well. I'd imagine if he remembers telling you that, he's going to be very embarrassed, and I would think the next time you talk will be very awkward.

I guess it depends how good friends you were/are, and if you're able to see past it. Feelings aren't mutual, are they?!?

[lph]

I'd just chalk it up to the effects of alcohol and not put too much into it. In my experience people - myself included - do tell the truth when drunk, but also tend to put more drama and emotion into it than they really feel. So a one-time interest in you (which is maybe not too surprising since you were close once at a time when you both were single?) gets sentimentally blown up to a big lost romance thing once the beer glasses are on... He can't possibly know what his life would have been like with you instead of her, so that part, IMNSHO is nonsense.

It's awkward to hear this stuff, I know, but it's even more awkward for him, so if you can just grin, thank him for the compliment and let it go you'll be fine.