Need Help

[Meaux]

Does anyone know of any miscarriage support online? I just lost my first baby at 11 weeks and am having a very difficult time. I am not sure if this is an appropriate place for this. If it is, let 'em rip. Thanks in advance.

[OakLeaf]

((((((((Meaux))))))))

I don't have any personal experience with this, but I'm sending my deepest sympathies and virtual hugs. Take good care.

[tulip]

My sympathies.

Try these folks in Houston: http://www.hand.net/index.php

[spokewench]

So sorry, my condolences, this is a very hard thing. I would try to google something in your area.

I'm hoping someone here will be able to steer you toward some help

[Duck on Wheels]

I don't know a specific name or URL, but I do know that there are several such groups, on-line and face-to-face. I know of them only indirectly as a colleague of mine, Lynda Layne, did research on them. If you don't find a group via Google, you could try looking up some of Lynda's work via a library or Google Scholar. Also, your GP or OB/GYN might know of a counseling group, and might be able to offer some help in terms of medical advice. Finding out what caused the loss of this pregnancy might help you have a better outcome next time, and your doctor or midwife might also offer you closer follow-up if you try again, even just to deal with fear of another loss. Grief is a tough thing to go through alone. I wish you the very best!

[Tuckervill]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. You might want to check with your OB's office, or the hospital social workers. They should have resources for you.

It may not matter to you, but some groups' worldview around this event can be, um, unhelpful, I guess is the word. If it were me, I would try to find support without a religious emphasis.

Karen

[Blueberry]

((((((Meaux)))))

[Meaux]

Thanks all. I appreciate the sympathies and hugs and advice. Mostly, I'm looking for a forum similar to this one, I'm not sure if I'm ready to go out to a group at this point. I didn't know if anyone here had any experience with this sort of thing. Most people I know are either speechless or say something (unintentionally) inappropriate.

[tulip]

I just did a google search. I do not know about that group or if it will suit you. Only you know that. Definitely ask your doctor. And give yourself the time and space that you need.

[indysteel]

((((Meaux))). I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself. I don't have any suggestions I' afraid. I just wanted to offer my sympathy. I sure hope you find the support you need.

[sundial]

Oh Meaux, I'm so sorry. Like the others have stated, I hope you find the support you need. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

[moderncyclista]

((((Meaux))))

Deepest sympathies. This is a good group of ladies here, for sure. I understand why you'd come to them for help. Everyone has given good advice. Again, so sorry. *hugs*

[mtbdarby]

Meaux - I am deeply sorry for your loss.

Eight years ago I lost my daughter at 14 weeks. I still find Christmas time to be difficult because of it. I can't help you with online forums but if you want to email me personally I'd be more than happy to talk to you about it. My neighbor lost her son recently and here they have an "angel" field at the cemetary for miscarriages and small nonfee memorial services (the headstone was very pricey though).

Best of luck to you and your family as you go through this difficult time.

[Crankin]

I went through the loss of a premature daughter (30 weeks) 28 years ago. Though it's a different situation, you are correct in that most people are speechless and say really stupid things.
You need to go through the normal grieving process, despite the fact many people don't see this as the same type of loss. Please, please contact either your ob's office or the hospital's social work/counseling department for local pregnancy loss support groups. I am not aware of any on line support for this; it will really help to talk to others who understand. If this seems like too much, a few counseling sessions with someone who specializes in loss/grief or women's issues may help.
We went to Compassionate Friends, which is a support group for people who have lost children. There were some people there who were still grieving over the deaths of children who had died many years before; when we saw that, it sort of snapped us out of the initial grief, because we did not want to be like the people we saw, 20 years later. One thing that helped me was just talking about my daughter, as though she was a real, living being, with friends. After I was able to talk about my hopes and dreams for her, I was able to "bury" them. I got pregnant again fairly quickly (5 months) and I was fine. People told me that I would "confuse" the babies and project my feelings about my daughter onto my son, but it never happened.
When I look at him as an adult, it only makes me smile to think about what kind of woman she would have become (she looked very much like him).

[sundial]

(((((((Mtbdarby and Crankin))))))))

I think parents are the most courageous people I know.