falling child (long vent of sorts)

[Tuckervill]

I'd start with how SHE feels about it. Forget about what everyone else feels. If it becomes even a hint of a power struggle, the whole family loses, in many ways.

And I must interject that you may have very fond feelings for your BF's daughter, but you're not her parent. The quickest way to lose your man is to insert yourself between he and his daughter (that is, if he's a good dad!). It doesn't have to be overt; even the most subtle advocacy or position-taking can be misconstrued, especially by children. Make sure you have earned the trust and respect of both of them before you make decisions for her without her input, or champion her cause with her dad.

27 years in a divorced/remarried/child-of-divorce/step-everyone family have taught me a few hard lessons. Children are the most vulnerable victims.

Karen

[BellaMTB]

What is he thinking? I think it is crazy for an 8-year old to ride clipped onto a bike. What is the purpose? It takes some lower leg strength, not to mention coordination to get out of them safely. I think one would have to ask, given the potential for serious injury with clipless (not to mention the risk of turning her off to the sport altogether), what is really the downside of letting her use flat pedals? My boys are 9 & 12 and I wouldn't dream of putting them at risk like that. I agree with the others that she should be riding for fun at this stage.

[ms1]

You're right, he's wrong. I think the facts are black and white.

I have a 9 year old and she has a kid's Specialized mountain bike, but I'd never even consider clipping her in and was completely surprised that anyone would even think about doing that to a child. He's being irresponsible and she will get hurt.

As you know, you're in a tricky situation since you're not the mom. But, I think you should intercede. It could hurt your relationship, but on the the hand, maybe he'll understand that how much you care about his daughter.

[Selkie]

I'm not a mom to humans (just dogs) and it's been a long time since I did a gig as a nanny in college, so I'm definitely not qualified to give you any "kid" advice.

I'm 46 years old and a very experienced rider with excellent road bike handling skills. However, when I'm on my MTB and am off road, I ride with one foot clipped. I'm not ashamed to admit it, either!!!!! Broken clav, multiple broken toes, and a broken elbow are enough bone fractures in my lifetime.

[Veronica]

Well, I think it's good that he has her using clipless already on the road. They shouldn't be any harder to unclip than ski bindings and I don't hear any outrage about little kids skiing and snowboarding.

I think back to what MP has always said about riding with her daughter PP - keep it fun. Does the girl want to push through this challenge of using clipless off road or is it demoralizing? When I think about the 33 kids in my room, at least one or two of them would want to push through because they are stubborn little cusses and like a challenge. Most would say, "This isn't fun and I'm done," if they were doing it with their families. But I bet if they were riding with me, 30 of them would stick it out.

What have I learned from 17 years of teaching - kids behave differently with different adults in their lives. With mom and dad they can be whiny little babies and I never see that in the classroom. The girl may see you as someone she wants to emulate and she's willing to put up with a few knocks to be like you. I see that sort of perseverance as good thing. Just keep the trails easy and short.

Veronica

[kenyonchris]

Thanks ya'll! This was never intended to judge him...or criticize, I hope it didnt come across that way, he is the sweet, proud dad I love. I know he would never put her in harms way. But he is a guy, a strong rider, and he doesn't know what it is like to simply be unable (physically)to do something. He's a guy. I started to think I should have stopped being a weenie about clipping in from the get go. I think it would be a shame for her to be put off because of the clips, because he wants nothing more than to ride with his daughter.

I'll talk to him about it, I was just looking for information from other *women* who had started mountain biking...beginning clipped in or no? It sounds like no (as I did) and you guys have given me lots of good reasons why. It would break my heart to see her not ride or not enjoy it. Ill talk to him about it from the perspectives you guys have give me and we will go from there!

[IvonaDestroi]

I'd say let her decide. Let her try both in a safe area and explain the differences, and the advantages and disadvantages. If you learn to ride on these you will be so much better at it in the long run, but if you don't like them and you want to wait thats ok too. Those ones are much easier. 8 year olds arn't completely inept to make their own decisions, I think she could give both a shot, and if she chooses clipless bring along a pair of platforms and a tool just in case... you could even show her how you put them on and take them off... How cute!!!!

[AnnieBikes]

The double sided pedals, flat and SPD would give her both options, and maybe satisfy dad, too. When she is on, say, double track, and it is flat or she feels comfortable, then she can clip in...IF she wants. If not, the flats are always there. The MTB shoes with SPD's are flat on the bottom so would work fine. I was petrified at the beginning on the MTB with clip pedals, but gradually got over it. An 8 yr. old needs to gain confidence first and then learn to clip.

How wonderful that you have this to enjoy together! She sounds like an awesome little girl! Hope it all goes well for you!

[MartianDestiny]

The double sided pedals, flat and SPD would give her both options, and maybe satisfy dad, too.

ACK PLEASE NO! Not the double sided pedals. They are just hard to deal with. Either the platform is always up and they are hard to clip into or the clip is always up and they are hard to use as platforms. It's hard for ME to concentrate on flipping a pedal and catching it on the right side. I can't imagine it would be anything but frustrating for an 8 yr old that's trying to learn to maneuver on singletrack.

The idea is good though. If something like this is the route you want to go then I'd recommend getting a pedal that is both clipless and has a platform ON BOTH SIDES. Shimano makes a downhill pedal that would fit this bill nicely (in fact it's what I used to learn to ride clipless, and yes, with some learning you can ride them even with clipless shoes without being clipped in); crankbros does as well, but their eggbeater style engagement sticks up above the platform worse than the SPD (and the SPDs can be set to release under very little tension, which is nice).

[kenyonchris]

If something like this is the route you want to go then I'd recommend getting a pedal that is both clipless and has a platform ON BOTH SIDES. Shimano makes a downhill pedal that would fit this bill nicely (in fact it's what I used to learn to ride clipless, and yes, with some learning you can ride them even with clipless shoes without being clipped in); crankbros does as well, but their eggbeater style engagement sticks up above the platform worse than the SPD (and the SPDs can be set to release under very little tension, which is nice).

This is a GREAT idea. I will suggest it to dad. Ultimately, it IS his kid, and I don't interfere once the great and powerful OZ has spoken. He is not all macho though, and I think he will be up for this option. He just thinks she will be more successful in her pedal stroke if she is clipped in. He doesn't GET that some of us are NOT him!

[AnnieBikes]

The Shimano was actually the one I was thinking of...just didn't express it clearly enough!