girl roles-playing princess, etc.

[shootingstar]

My brother-in-law hopes for his 18-month daughter that she will not hanker for the current Disney-marketed trend of playing princess..in terms of costumes, parties, etc. He doesn't even like overtly bright pink clothing for little girls.

Not sure what he is worried about if he's concerned about any possible (unhealthy?) obsession of uber princess identity for daughter. Probably worried about the cost. I'm sure the my sister-mother will ensure daughter won't get carried away.

I wasn't aware of this consumer-driven fad. But another sister told me her 7 yr. old daughter was recently invited to a princess party.

P.S. Ok, I'm not a parent.
Just an aunt to several nieces (24 yrs., 7 yrs. and 18 months) and nephews from 3 sisters. But I did grow up in female dominant family (in terms of sheer numbers) since I have 4 sisters and 1 brother.

So have seen phases of how little girls try on different roles /clothing/playing based on their temporary (?) whims.

[VeloVT]

meh. I was a ballet dancer and a tomboy. she'll work it out for herself.

[Cataboo]

My half brother didn't want to raise a girly girl. She wasn't allowed to wear pink, wear dresses, play with barbie dolls, whatever. REsult was whatever she did have, she'd pretend was a baby doll - even if it was the cat. At a school charity sale when she was 5 or 6, she used her saved money to buy herself a barbie doll... which my half brother promptly trashed when she brought it home.

All she ever wanted to wear to school was dresses and pink.

I don't think he actually got anywhere with all his anti-girly-girl efforts...

My sister's daughter is in the disney princess phase and has been for the last 4 years or something. I think it was dora the explorer before that. I make sure to buy her 1 educational/something I think she'd like gift & 1 princess type gift for her birthday/christmas.

I have friends that did the no tv and no disney thing - that sorta works until the kids get into school and start going over to their friends house.

I vaguely remember playing dress up, possibly ocassionally playing princess - but nothing like what little girls seem to do now... but I was more of a tom boy.

[papaver]

Let kids be what they want to be.

[smurfalicious]

There's a really interesting book called Pink Think - Becoming a Woman in Many Uneasy Lessons that talks a lot about this. It's fun reading, you should check it out. You'll learn all about books on bad boys, Dream Date and Lysol as douche!

http://www.amazon.com/Pink-Think-Bec...3688182&sr=8-1

[Mr. Bloom]

I may not have always said this. But now, I'd say "let it be".

SilverDaughter was as prissy as any young girl...but with a streak of independence - she'd always wear two different colored socks, but each one matched her dress.

Then, as an early teen, she went through the "nearly goth" phase where everything she wore was black (except her bright red dog collar) This was a challenging time for me...

Then she found "her" look - which is anything but prissy, but very beautiful.

From a social standpoint, I think that the best thing that we can breed into our kids is versatility - an ability to adapt to the situation with comfort.

[papaver]

Then, as an early teen, she went through the "nearly goth" phase where everything she wore was black (except her bright red dog collar) This was a challenging time for me...

My father nearly had a heart attack when I came home with orange hair. They don't call it goth anymore. It's Emo.

[Crankin]

It is a developmental phase that parents can't control. I was a Barbie playing tomboy who loved playing army with all of the boys in the neighborhood in the 50's and 60's. I had an independent streak, too. I don't have daughters, but I think I might have tended to trying to steer a daughter away from girly-girl things when I was younger. However, I found out that you just can't control this stuff. I forbade toy guns, etc. and one kid is a Marine. I guess I never should have allowed those little green plastic soldiers he used to play with for hours, while the other one was reading or doing science experiments!

[OakLeaf]

My experience as a daughter (not a parent) is that parents can successfully isolate their kids from cultural influences if they isolate them from culture - few friends allowed, only infant TV (which had a lot fewer commercials than modern shows), no after school activities. I guess the present-day equivalent is home schooling.

My opinion is the social isolation and the lifelong impairment in the ability to have social relationships, just aren't worth it. Eventually an adult can teach herself how to dress and groom herself; learning how to interact with peers needs to happen in childhood, I think.

Oddly enough, my mom did raise me on the fantasy that someday I might marry Prince Charles, who's my same age.

[lph]

I wouldn't worry too much about the role-playing or the clothes - they probably mean something quite different to a small girl (maybe a dream of being magically elevated above everything mundane and boring) - but I would put a little effort into exploring her values and ideas, listening to them, and challenging them if necessary at the right age. And making ones own values clear, of course.

We tried to delay our son's exposure to realistic war toys, but never forbade them. So he's run around and "killed" people like every small boy, but I also made it very clear that I did not want him pointing anything gunlike at me, because it made me uncomfortable. Because people really do die that way, and I did not want to play at that particular game.

To each their own sensibilities. There are things I wouldn't let my son (or daughter if I had one) wear, but that would be because they didn't understand the message it gave to the rest of society.

[Aggie_Ama]

My nieces like princess stuff and anything pink or purple. They also like camping, fishing, making mudpies, getting gross on the ranch. The only thing I refuse to buy is the Hannah Montana stuff because I think it is a bit old for them (4&6). I like to get educational toys but I also believe dolls promote imagination, every play time my Barbies were in some mini-story I made up. In my opinion it all has some benefit.

[limewave]

I have an almost 4yo dd. We tried to keep her away from the Princess stuff after seeing our neice go through that phase. But somehow dd ended up with a wardrobe of princess dresses, princess shoes, princess purses, princess everything (thank to grandma and grandpa who have declared "there are no rules in their house!").

It bothered DH but I didn't really see the harm. Until . . .

She started getting a prissy princess attitude. And it was BAD. We took all of her princess things away and stashed them in the attic. We told her when she could start behaving like a "real" princess, she could have them back.

Now we talk alot about the characteristics of a princess: kind, uses her manners, thinks of others before herself, etc.

We have not given her princess dresses back yet. But we do get dressed up in pretty dresses. We practice having royal tea parties and go to the ball. It's all fun and fantasy, but we also learn proper ettiquette. DD doesn't even ask about her princess stuff anymore.

DD has a much better attitude. We are surprising her with a trip to Disney World this winter and doing the Princess Tea Party We even plan on giving her back one of her princess dresses She's earned it.

[limewave]

By the way, Princess Parties are VERY popular. It's almost impossible to avoid the Disney Princess franchise. I keep thinking we should move to the country and become Amish.

[Pax]

I'd be fascinated to see how a little kid would grow up if they weren't exposed to non-stop 24/7 marketing.

[tulip]

I was not allowed to have Barbies, so I went over to my friends to play with hers.

The Barbie itself did not have a negative effect on me. What did, however, is the still present curse of disapproval--the things that I valued as a child were disapproved of by my parents. As a child, that translated into them disapproving of me.

I hope your brother just lets his daughter be.