Weird Men!!!

[Zen]

The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker.

You beat me to it

[wannaduacentury]

I live in a small town. I'm not native here, I moved here four years ago. This area is one of the best-kept secrets for cycling, I think. But people here are not used to seeing bikes, so you have to be super careful on the road, seeing as they hardly know the regular road rules let alone how to deal with a cyclist. Further, it being a small town, I have a hard time trying to decide if someone is being small-town friendly or is a creep. I just have to trust my gut.

I have a bike with panniers I call my grocery getter. After getting this week's supply of fresh produce from the market this afternoon, I was riding back home and noticed one of the bags was rubbing the spokes a little, so I stopped at a corner and was making a few adjustments when this guy in a big white pickup stops, and at first all I heard sounded like "need a ride?" I said no, thank you - but I am getting the creepy vibe, you know?

What follows was a nearly one-sided conversation as I try to CLEARLY send the "get lost" message as I shift things around, and he tells me he rides a mountain bike, do I ride mountain? No? So do I ride from work and back? No? Road? Do you race? Oh. I ride mountain bikes...

All the while I'm thinking "Dude, if you were a loose dog, I would have pepper sprayed you by now."

I swing back into the saddle and say "well, have a nice day," and take off in the opposite direction, and watch my back the whole way home.

This is the second time in a few months I've had some weirdo try to talk to me. Last time I clearly had my cell phone in my hand when I saw the guy a block later - he had gone around, I can only guess to figure out where I was going.

I don't dress provocatively. I was in capris and a t-shirt today. So what the heck?

Hi Grey, I understand your frustration. I agree that we all have a gut instinct or 6th sense as we call it to act upon when need be. I usually have a short chat w/ strangers if they stick to bikes and then I go on my way. I do get annoyed however, when I walk to my mom's driveway not 500 yards from mine and people ask if I need a ride. Even when friendly. Can't a gal take a peaceful walk? Most country folks to me are just being friendly and are harmless, and I think about that when I ask if people need help. How do I come across to them? i take it in stride, but safety first. Jenn

btw, I went through Summerville 2 weeks ago. I love driving through that area, so pretty.

[Geonz]

I live in a small town too, and believe me, we have our share of weird-os. Actually, I'd be willing to bet that we do, in fact, have more weird-os per capita than a city or a suburban area. And some very weird weird-os at that.

I think picking up on creepy vibes is like a 6th sense...you need to pay attention to it. You did the right thing listening to your instincts. He needed to leave you alone and he should've realized he was acting creepy. There's the chance he was just a harmless weird-o, but why risk it. He's a stranger...you owe him nothing. Self preservation and safety is a lot more important that being chatty with a creepy stranger. I think this is exactly why our mothers told us never to talk to strangers.

OTOH, sometimes it's simply the "oddness" that we are afraid of, and there are oddnesses that are undisguisable but genuinely harmless. However, if you've been there four years, you probably have a good handle on what's a normal social interaction -- but on the third hand, I do agree that the block-later guy set the stage and this guy had nothing to do with him.

[latelatebloomer]

Trusting your gut is always #1, but 'round here in tiny Applebachsville - where there are so many characters it's like Northern Exposure in Pennsylvania - a guy hanging around while I fixed something most likely thinks he's doing a good turn looking out for me while I'm stopped roadside, preventing real evildoers from bothering me.

The rural-ride situation that pushes my fight/flight button? if a vehicle, especially a van, stops ahead of me on a deserted road, I make a u-turn and beat it.

The car window story reminds of a time I lived in Oakland, Ca and had an art studio in a neighborhood with a terrible reputation. I had no sooner locked the door and turned on the lights when there was a knock on the door. I froze and decided not to answer, as I was alone (didn't usually go alone at night.) The knocks continued, eventually getting insistent, along with a deep loud voice yelling, " C'mon, lady, I know you're in there!" OK, I thought, time to beat it upstairs and ask the neighbor to call the cops. 3 more knocks, and the voice says, "Lady, I just want to tell you you left your keys in the door."

I had. A 6'4" man handed me my keys and gently said, "Let's be a little more mindful, shall we?"