Okay, I'm going to do this...

[shootingstar]

I'm trying to get the courage to ride more by myself, I am mechanically inept. If something breaks I'm worried I won't get where I'm going on time, which would really only matter if I commute on my bike to work. Which is only 4 miles away, yet I have been a BIG chicken so far. I have ridden without my husband, but only when He's out of town and I'm desperate to ride. And only when a teenage driver is at home to pick me up if needed. I might try to take an REI repair class this month. My work schedule in September will allow me the time to ride to work with no justifiable excuses. Unfortunately that also involved a forced reduction of work hours which I am not happy about. I'm trying to see a bright spot.

Hope you find a solution for this. Sounds like you live in a rural area? And your roads must be rough?

I'm mechanically klutzed..even after other people showing me how to change a flat, etc. But still, I don't let it worry me much since I live in the (big, spawling) city...and our buses have bike racks.

It wasn't always like this. I lived in another city that didn't have bike racks but some of the bike routes ran near subway stations.

Yea, I'm pretty illogical. Considering the fact that we haven't had any car. So phoning him to pick me up if I had a flat, is pretty useless.

The reason for my slack attitude is that I went through first 3 years of returning to cycling with only 1 flat and I was averaging much higher annual mileage back then than these last few years. Back then it was 5,000-6,000 kms. annually.

[beccaB]

It's pretty rural, a farming community,small town. Michigan roads have a reputation of being the worst in the whole country, but oddly enough we were out in the western part of the state near Kalamazoo, and we rode 30 miles of smooth roads. I wonder if lake effect snow causes an insulating effect and reduces the amount of freezing and thawing.

[tulip]

Hey Owlie, I second the suggestion to talk to him about this. Tell him how you feel when he's barking out stuff to you, right on your tail. Also, wear whatever the hell you want to!

[Owlie]

It stormed yesterday, add that to killer cramps and there was no way I was getting off the couch. I went out this morning instead. I only did a very short ride (less than a mile) but I had to be back, and I have no patience for doing short loops many times. I just went around the north side of campus, using the walkways. (Sunday morning, so no one was out, it's apparently legal to ride a bike on the sidewalk in Ohio, and it's a college campus, so no one cares.) I went to the library and back. I keep forgetting how pretty this side of campus is. It's a beautiful day--mid 70s, sunny. There are lots of trees, so the paths are shaded. Best part? There are a couple of older churches in the area, and one of them backs onto that part of campus. I had found my groove, and as I zipped by the church, I realized it had the bells going. They were playing "Ode to Joy." That made me smile.
When I got back, my computer informed me that it is possible to be doing 79 mph on a bicycle in an elevator...then it ate all my numbers. Oh well.



As for the boyfriend:
I think he's trying to be helpful, but going about it in the wrong way. To him, this stuff is intuitive, and he doesn't quite get it that I need to actually learn this stuff. He thinks I need a coach--I don't. I'll take suggestions from him, but I need to figure out all this stuff on my own. What he wants is to get me to a point where we can do long rides together. I'd be happy to, if he didn't try to push me to that point while I'm still getting used to the road bike. His heart's in the right place, though. As for the sitting on my back wheel, he's probably not that close, just feels like it. I'm still getting used to the brakes, so it's a bit of self-preservation on his part.
I do tease him about the team kit, though. He used to (before I met him) have the Team Once jersey, socks, helmet...heck, even his old bike (OCR3) was yellow and black. I tease him about it--playing dress-up, was he? He looks like a large bumblebee in the jersey, so I dread to think what he looked like in the entire getup. Maybe I'll ask his mom if she's got pictures. Knowing her, she'll probably show me if she does.
He doesn't really care what I go out in, provided I'm wearing gloves and a helmet. It's just my being associated with someone who looks like he knows what he's doing makes people think that I know what I'm doing.

[shootingstar]

I do tease him about the team kit, though. He used to (before I met him) have the Team Once jersey, socks, helmet...heck, even his old bike (OCR3) was yellow and black. I tease him about it--playing dress-up, was he? He looks like a large bumblebee in the jersey, so I dread to think what he looked like in the entire getup. Maybe I'll ask his mom if she's got pictures. Knowing her, she'll probably show me if she does.

The cycling bumblebee. LOL.
Just go ahead and do alot of cycling on your own if you don't find anyone else besides BF. You'll learn to self-motivate yourself for much longer and harder rides. Then you will be able to enjoy rides with him more often.

Does your university offer any on-campus bike club/organization for rides, mechanical advice, etc.? Take every advantage of these free 'services' and camaraderie while you can.

When I returned to cycling, my partner did cycle with me. He did very little "coaching" or verbal pushing at me. But I also joined a women's cycling organization and was active in workshop/event/ride organizing for 5 yrs. It gave me a cycling focus elsewhere to learn but also have fun for times that supplemented enjoyable rides and touring with my partner. I did take a course on bike commuting skills also.

As for expectations by him for your cycling skills, you must drive this in terms of what you want and the style of cycling that suits you best --long term. Remember, your cycling goal is: to fall in love with cycling over and over...regardless of what other people tell you.