Okay, I'm going to do this...

**Owlie** · 07-10-2009, 08:08 AM

I'm going out on a ride on my own. It'll be short--just around the north end of campus, but I'm going to do this, either after I get home from work or tomorrow morning before BF gets up. It has to be before he gets up or he'll want to come with me.

It's not that I don't like riding with him--quite the opposite, actually. He's just a bit...distracting. It's a little disconcerting to have him a foot or so away from my back tire, barking out how fast I'm going (or not going, as the case may be). He also insists on going riding in some team jersey, so by association, people assume that I know what I'm doing.
(I'll let BF continue to think that he cuts quite a dash in Lycra and that that's what I find distracting.

)

**HappyTexasMom** · 07-10-2009, 08:11 AM

Originally Posted by Owlie

I'm going out on a ride on my own. It'll be short--just around the north end of campus, but I'm going to do this, either after I get home from work or tomorrow morning before BF gets up. It has to be before he gets up or he'll want to come with me.

It's not that I don't like riding with him--quite the opposite, actually. He's just a bit...distracting. It's a little disconcerting to have him a foot or so away from my back tire, barking out how fast I'm going (or not going, as the case may be). He also insists on going riding in some team jersey, so by association, people assume that I know what I'm doing.
(I'll let BF continue to think that he cuts quite a dash in Lycra and that that's what I find distracting.

)

You go, girl! Although I don't think it would be bad to gently let BF know that it's hard for you to concentrate when he's distracting you with your speed/performance.

**Biciclista** · 07-10-2009, 09:35 AM

and let us know how it went!

**lph** · 07-10-2009, 11:08 AM

*snort*

I have a friend who does this. I'll be tootling along watching traffic or the scenery and I'll hear, among gasps, from the rear: "A hundred and sixty!!"

Heart rate...

**arielmoon** · 07-10-2009, 11:15 AM

You can do it!

I bet you feel empowered afterward!

**TrekTheKaty** · 07-10-2009, 02:14 PM

YOU GO GIRL

In the long run, consider talking to him about this. My pet peeves are: when we ride up my nemesis hill, with me huffing and puffing and I'm just HOPING to make it to the top, while he rides next to me and giggles at the faces I'm making (curse words); or on a perfect day, when I feel like I'm pedaling like the wind, and I can hear him coasting behind me--JUST GO BY and let me enjoy my ride (I don't want to feel like I'm holding you up). DH and I had a few yelling/tearful exchanges before I learned to express my feelings: Don't coach me. I am pedaling as fast as I want to pedal--if you want to go by, go by. I feel nervous with you right on my back wheel. I don't want to climb that hill. This is supposed to be fun. Let me learn at my own pace, or I'll go ride with someone else.

The first bike DH bought me, when we started dating, didn't "stick" because of this. Ten years later, he's learned patience and my cycling skills have improved. He now quickly recognizes when I'm getting frustrated and backs off--although the occasional curse word still flies. He just apologized this week for pushing me out on a hill ride I didn't want to do--that ended with me turning around and coming back home early and alone.

**OakLeaf** · 07-10-2009, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by lph

*snort*

I have a friend who does this. I'll be tootling along watching traffic or the scenery and I'll hear, among gasps, from the rear: "A hundred and sixty!!"

Heart rate...

Hee hee.

How old is your friend?! 160 isn't gasp-inducingly low! (I guess on some hills it would be, though...)

**shootingstar** · 07-10-2009, 03:58 PM

Hope you chat up later with BF and find a good style to bike together for certain times.

Would he be still be embarrassed to be cycling with you if you weren't as jersey team-kit oriented as him, especially if you become a better (freer) cyclist?

**TrekTheKaty** · 07-10-2009, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by lph

*snort*

I have a friend who does this. I'll be tootling along watching traffic or the scenery and I'll hear, among gasps, from the rear: "A hundred and sixty!!"

Heart rate...

Phew! I thought that was your speed

**tctrek** · 07-10-2009, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by cunninghamair

YOU GO GIRL

In the long run, consider talking to him about this. My pet peeves are: when we ride up my nemesis hill, with me huffing and puffing and I'm just HOPING to make it to the top, while he rides next to me and giggles at the faces I'm making (curse words); or on a perfect day, when I feel like I'm pedaling like the wind, and I can hear him coasting behind me--JUST GO BY and let me enjoy my ride (I don't want to feel like I'm holding you up). DH and I had a few yelling/tearful exchanges before I learned to express my feelings: Don't coach me. I am pedaling as fast as I want to pedal--if you want to go by, go by. I feel nervous with you right on my back wheel. I don't want to climb that hill. This is supposed to be fun. Let me learn at my own pace, or I'll go ride with someone else.

The first bike DH bought me, when we started dating, didn't "stick" because of this. Ten years later, he's learned patience and my cycling skills have improved. He now quickly recognizes when I'm getting frustrated and backs off--although the occasional curse word still flies. He just apologized this week for pushing me out on a hill ride I didn't want to do--that ended with me turning around and coming back home early and alone.

We could put this post next to my name, substitute my DH and it would be about me. I just worked it out this past month or two where I absolutely refuse to ride his ride. The tricky part was doing it with grace... "I'm fine, you go ahead, maybe I'll catch you later. Love ya'" I used to get angry, curse, cry. Now I smile and ride my ride.

**lph** · 07-11-2009, 12:42 AM

Originally Posted by OakLeaf

Hee hee.

How old is your friend?! 160 isn't gasp-inducingly low! (I guess on some hills it would be, though...)

I have to admit that that was just a random number I picked. It's just kind of funny how on a hill I'll be concentrating on regular breathing and efficient pedal strokes and zen-ing out, while his highest priority is informing the rest of the world of his current heart rate.

**HappyTexasMom** · 07-11-2009, 06:48 AM

So Owlie...did you do it? How was your ride?

**Ann G** · 07-11-2009, 09:11 AM

I think riding alone or with a partner that is less stress-inducing is a fine idea. By the way, the original post made it sound like he's drafting you, given that he's a foot behind your back tire. If he's such a strong rider, why is he sucking on your back wheel? How about having him pull you?

**cylegoddess** · 07-12-2009, 01:52 AM

Wow, that sounds incredibly patronizing.
And what is cool about team kit?To me, it looks like boys playing dress ups!

( I do have a US postal cap, but all my gear is black, white, plain or blue>)
If he was so good at what he did, he'd ASK you, if you wanted a trainer.
I had this sort of rubbish for years( not in riding, other things) and now I dont take that crap!!!

**beccaB** · 07-12-2009, 07:01 AM

I'm trying to get the courage to ride more by myself, I am mechanically inept. If something breaks I'm worried I won't get where I'm going on time, which would really only matter if I commute on my bike to work. Which is only 4 miles away, yet I have been a BIG chicken so far. I have ridden without my husband, but only when He's out of town and I'm desperate to ride. And only when a teenage driver is at home to pick me up if needed. I might try to take an REI repair class this month. My work schedule in September will allow me the time to ride to work with no justifiable excuses. Unfortunately that also involved a forced reduction of work hours which I am not happy about. I'm trying to see a bright spot.

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