My Motorist Exchange...

[TrekTheKaty]

I prefer Ma'am to Mrs. I always look around for somebody's mom when I'm called Mrs. And what does my marital status have to do with anything? Just call me ma'am.

I work in a customer service industry that still uses sir and ma'am--but it does make some people chuckle.

[Flybye]

SWEET!!

[Mr. Bloom]

Mr. Silver doesn't think fast on his wheels...but he has had plenty of time to think about what he would say if...[fill in the blank]

AND I was being polite...really

To those offended by "ma'am", remember that it's almost alway intended with respect...the words "ma'am" and "sir" were ingrained in my vocabulary at an early age. No offense intended (although - in the circumstances - the offensive use of ma'am would be the epitome of the southern practice of the gentle art of obfuscatory verbal attack...)

Frankly, I don't care what THAT woman thought...but I meant no offense to anyone here.

And the last THREE times I TRIED to catch a really obnoxious driver, they were all men - and I wouldn't have called them "sir"...

[OakLeaf]

I wish I had snappy comebacks for those people, but I'm with Loraura. Talking to them is just escalating the situation. Best to pretend to ignore them, and get a plate number.

To those offended by "ma'am", remember that it's almost alway intended with respect

When you use the word, okay.

But when I hear "ma'am" or "sir" - and when I use those words myself - it's usually intended with disrespect. In our regional usage, anyhow, it has a sarcastic connotation - it's a faux polite way of saying "moron," or worse. It's precisely the kind of term that a vehicular cyclist and an arrogant ignorant motorist would throw at each other.

[tulip]

Good job, Mr. Silver. Sometimes when motorists are less than polite (or safe), I just smile my biggest Southern Belle smile and waive like I know them. Maybe it'll get them thinking that they were ugly to someone that they actually know.

As for Ma'am, I'm 40 and fully expect to be called Ma'am by people I don't know, if they are younger than me. It's respectful. I've also lived in France, where it's nearly mandatory to say Madame/Monsieur. Same idea over here.

[channlluv]

Me, too. Ma'am is a sign of respect in my world and I've earned it.

As for rude motorists, I think a full-on public education program is called for in all states. Is there a cycling organization for the casual cyclist that might attach their name to a grant proposal to produce something like that?

Roxy

[Mr. Bloom]

In our regional usage, anyhow, it has a sarcastic connotation - it's a faux polite way of saying "moron," or worse. It's precisely the kind of term that a vehicular cyclist and an arrogant ignorant motorist would throw at each other.

It's sad when customs have evolved to where we can't discern words of respect from words of disdain.

But, that's where tone, inflection, body language and attitude make the difference

Rest assured, if I was being sarcastic, the recipient would know...regardless of the words I chose...

As for rude motorists, I think a full-on public education program is called for in all states. Is there a cycling organization for the casual cyclist that might attach their name to a grant proposal to produce something like that?

Roxy

www.bikeleague.org

We're members...I encourage you to research and consider joining.

[Jiffer]

Good job. Next time you might want to "suggest" the driver to read their DMV manual about cyclist's road rights. Maybe tell them what page to look up (since you're all into memorizing numbers and stuff!)

[crazycanuck]

I will never ever call any female " Ma'am" again. I worked for a bank & said yes "ma'am" & the woman took a hissy fit/freaked out at me.. I was in tears not realizing what i'd said. Good thing I was about to leave the company to move to Australia!

[Mr. Bloom]

I was in tears not realizing what i'd said. Good thing I was about to leave the company to move to Australia!

That's very unfortunate

Every bit of verbal communication has two components:

• the intent of the speaker
• the interpretation of the hearer

The intent is firm...the interpretation is discretionary. In context, she should have given you the benefit of the doubt...and only proved herself to be a bit myopic by not doing so.

[crazycanuck]

Well, this woman was pretty peeved in the first place & took control of the conversation. I just listened, was really hesitant to reply & very nervous. She was a complete biotch to me & needed a slap in the head actually.

People think when they call a company's contact centre, they have the right to abuse the staff member. Umm...no. Plus, the staff will just talk about you after the call anyways & be jaded folks forever.

Never again will I work anywhere near banks or anything relating to retail. I have no patience for customers

[HoosierGiant]

Good job. Next time you might want to "suggest" the driver to read their DMV manual about cyclist's road rights. Maybe tell them what page to look up (since you're all into memorizing numbers and stuff!)

I'm all for that... except for the fact that the Indiana BMV Driver's Manual only has this to say about cyclist's road rights (underline added):

Bicycle Safety
Drivers must routinely share the roadway with bicycles. Bicycles are entitled to the same right of way and are required to observe the same traffic laws as operators of automobiles. However, with a large percentage of bicyclists being children, a driver cannot assume a child will adhere to the laws. The safe and wise driver of fourwheeled vehicles will adjust for this and allow more room for the bicyclist. Be aware that poor nighttime visibility presents special problems to drivers of four-wheeled vehicles where, in some cases, bicyclists will not have proper reflectors or lights.

Bicycle Safety TipsBiking is fun and a great way to stay in shape. However, biking can become very dangerous on roadways, so stay safe by following these tips.
• Always Wear a Helmet: Bike helmets come in different shapes and sizes. When you shop for a helmet, be sure to look for:
o A CPSC sticker, which indicates the helmet meets safety standards.
o Proper fit. The helmet should sit level on your head and touch it all around.
o A bright color to make you more visible to motorists.
• Follow Traffic Rules: Cyclists are required to follow the same traffic rules as
automobiles when traveling on a roadway:
o Obey all stop signs, traffic signals and other laws of driving.
o Ride on the right side of the road, the same direction as traffic.
o Use hand signals to indicate turns and slowing down.
• Be Visible: It is crucial that motorists and other cyclists can see you while riding. Always make sure you are properly visible:
o Wear bright colored clothing and helmet.
o At night, use a headlight; put reflectors on your pedals and wheels, and wear reflective clothing or tape.
o Ride in the right third of the right travel lane so motorists will see you.
• Ride Defensively: Sharing the road with cars means you need to be alert and
ride defensively:
o Always check for oncoming traffic before entering an intersection or merging
onto a road.
o Look behind you before changing lanes.
o Remember that pedestrians have the right of way.
o Beware of motorists turning left; many may misjudge your speed and turn
too soon.
o Be cautious of cars passing on the right of a vehicle turning left.
Following these safety tips may help you prevent crashes or reduce your risk of injury in case of an accident. For more information about bicycle safety, check the National Bicycle Safety Network Web site at www.cdc.gov/ncipc.

Bicycle Facts
• In Indiana, the majority of bicycle accidents occurs during the five spring
and summer months of May – September.
• Nationwide a bicyclist is killed in a traffic accident every 10 hours.

One tiny reference to cyclists having the same right of way; the rest a lecture on what cyclists need to do to ensure their own safety. I understand that bicycles are considered vehicles and need to be included in the manual, but the whole thing seems rather lopsided to me.

[Mr. Bloom]

Thanks HG!

[kenyonchris]

I will never ever call any female " Ma'am" again. I worked for a bank & said yes "ma'am" & the woman took a hissy fit/freaked out at me.. I was in tears not realizing what i'd said. Good thing I was about to leave the company to move to Australia!

Wow! I would have apologized for unintentionally offending, but if her hissy fit continued, possibly bopped her upside the head with her pocket calculator.
I detained a 15 year old girl for stealing cell phones at the gym (she had them in her purse, pretty cut and dry). As I was talking to the little brat, she sat there and sullenly stared at me. She answered my questions with, "Yeah," and "Nah..." Finally I bent down, stuck my finger in her face and told her she might better change that to "yes, ma'am" and "no, Ma'am" .... down here in the south it is disrespectful to use anything less. She looked me square in the face and said, "I only use Ma'am to people I respect. I don't even say that to my mother." I told her she better start really quickly, or life was going to take a drastic turn for the worse. Or worst. This is an upper income, Juicy Couture wearing 15 year old girl.
Her mother, needless to say, was not shocked at her behavior.
I call people younger than me ma'am....and older as well. And sir. As in, "Sir, if you do not settle down, I am going to spray you!" and "No, Ma'am, I am not a fat biotch, but thank you."

[OakLeaf]

As in, "Sir, if you do not settle down, I am going to spray you!" and "No, Ma'am, I am not a fat biotch, but thank you."

Exactly the usages I was talking about.