Getting married- ? do I change my name

[Flur]

I took DH's name, gladly. BUT, I was already in the midst of name-identity crisis. My birth father and my mom never married, so I had my mom's last name at birth. This was just fine by me (who wants the name of a guy who wishes she hadn't existed in the first place?). But my mom remarried and her new husband (my dad) adopted me, and I took his name when I was 9. We weren't very close when I was growing up, and I didn't relate to the name at all, plus it's Scottish and I don't look at all Scottish so it caused people to probe. By the time I got to college I wanted to change my name back, but I thought it would hurt his feelings so I didn't.

So when DH and I decided to get married it was an easy decision for me. I got to take a name that I liked, and have a reason for having it that people don't question. And now it feels more like me than any of the other names. If something happened and we got divorced I wouldn't change it back. It's who I am now.

[moserpower]

Anakiwa,
I'm in exactly the same boat as you--35 getting married this June. I'd always assumed I'd change my name when I married but now I have a serious professional profile in my maiden name. My final decision was based upon this: I love my husband to be more than I ever loved my father. So I'm changing my name. Also, I think if you are planning to have kids, it's nice to spare them the hyphen problem or the choosing option.