Relationship with food?

[is76]

I was wondering what everyone's relationship with food is?

I have decided to really look at mine. Things have really come to a head over the past few months as I have been trying to diet. I have been trying to lose weight - I am probably about 14 pounds (7kgs) over weight and I have been at this level for a few years. I am into biking and running and think the extra weight is holding my back - no doubt carrying excess is hard work.

So i have been keeping a food diary and trying to cut back. Its started so well and then went haywire - causing my to crave "bad" foods and start binging on chocolates, cake etc etc.

Anyway, I have decided that diets dont' work for me, trying to control food has meant I have set up this whole "good" and "bad" foods. Food has been controlling me and my life for too long. So I am going to start thinking about eating for a nutritional and fitness point of view and trusting myself to know what is good for me. If I want chocolate I am going to have it. It won't be this mystical food that is bad for me. Mysteriously when i go into a shop and say to myself I can have whatever I want I often make the healthy choice. Again I need to trust myself and focus on my fitness, again when I am enjoying my fitness I want to eat things that support that and don't crave anything.

So, any tips, advice welcome. But whos is with me?

Food no longer controls me and its all about enjoying my exercise and eating to support that. I won't be weighing myself and I will be trusting myself to enjoy what I eat. Goodbye obssessing over it and trying to control food.

Sorry for the long rambling 1st post. I'll try and keep my future posts shorter. LOL

[Chicken Little]

Geez, I sympathize. I just got past the 45 year mark and am reassessing my life and food relationship, also. I don't want to obsess about my diet,weight, pant size, blah, blah, blah. It is just STUPID, and I am irritating my self. It has been a big, fat, waist (!) of time. My grandmother doesn't care about that kind of stupid stuff. I know, eat for health. I am working on it!

[tzvia]

I can't diet. The moment I use that word I am toast.

It's a mental thing.

Someone took a picture of me, little over 1 year ago, that really was not flattering. I was afraid to get on the scale, but I must have weighed 170lbs (5'2", 47years old, now just turned 49) and that picture got me into a 'gotta do something' mindset. So I just started exercising. Started with Ti Chi, then moved on to that large ball thing, then aerobics. 45minutes, 6 days a week. Went down maybe a few pounds; mostly just firmed up a bit. Shoot not enough. Bought a new road bike and MTB about 5 months ago and hit the roads/trails, then bought the Wii Fit. I weighed 163 about 3 months ago. Wii for 1 hr a day, 4 days a week, and cycle the weekends. Now I am at 147lbs, and look much better but the weight loss is slowing.

Started looking at my food intake. I had cut sugary junk down to one thing a week. So once a week, I have a candy apple, it's the reward for a good week that keeps me from sliding (and it is an apple). I started drinking a protein/mineral drink every day for lunch, followed by fruits and veggies and yes sometimes I have a PBJ. Cut the portion size of dinner, but otherwise eat normally. If must not look like a diet. I refuse to measure and portion out my meals or eat those diet tv dinners because I will backlash; food must look like what I would normally eat. So I am moderating normal foods and introducing more fruits and veggies.

Lately, I've been controlling my sweet tooth with frozen berries. I get the organic berry mix at Trader Joes-tastes like candy-and eat it at work. My sit-down IT job puts me about 30 ft from a junk food vending maching so I need a munchy that is healthy or I will eat Starbursts and Whoppers. Sometimes sub boiled soy which keeps my hands busy popping out the beans. I keep both in my office area fridge so I can grab either when I get a munchy craving. Co-workers laugh at me but I went from a size 14 (tight) to a loose 8. I have 27 lbs to go, and I am not going to hurry there because I will binge gain it all back. I have also started taking thyroid targeted supplements along with the rest of my vitamins.

[Biciclista]

Relationship with food. I eat it.
Some things don't agree with me. I don't eat them. or drink them. Like Alcohol; high in calories and makes my stomach upset... So why drink it?

I learned while 7 months pregnant with large child (#2) that the sensation of overeating was HORRIBLE (went to a wonderful all you could eat brunch) I have kept the memory of that uncomfortable brunch for the last 25 years and it serves me well.
I tend to eat too much chocolate, but I have learned that if i continue to ride my bike and work out, I am burning as much as I am eating.

[is76]

Thanks for the replies....

Maybe I have finally woken up to the fact that food is all about health/nutrition, its not something to punish or reward yourself with. Its just food. When you eat certain things you feel great afterwards and you have loads of energy while other things make you feel sluggish and not good.

Biciclista: I hardly drink alcohol any more either. Same idea, it doesn't make me feel good. Occasionally I will have a nice glass of wine with dinner if I am out and enjoy it. Bring on the xmas nights out with everyone urging me to "take a drink" There is a lot of pressure to drink - its probably a scottish thing! LOL

Tzvia: Good on you for focusing on your fitness and health. Little changes will last longer!

So I am going to start listening to my body instead of trying to over ride it all the time. Its good to write these things down too, its helping me figure it out. Keep the posts coming.

[ASammy1]

My new mantra is "Eat to live, not live to eat."

[Grog]

I don't know, I have French roots, so don't blame me for that. But...

For me, food is WAAAAY more than health and nutrition. It brings a lot of pleasure, both in the preparation and in the consumption, and even in the planning (less so when I do the dishes... but even that I somewhat enjoy). Because of the food in itself, and also because of the circumstances in which it is eaten (together-time with husband, family, and/or friends). It's very seldom just about feeding myself.

Many times a carefully, lovingly prepared meal (with a glass of wine, please) will be a reward for hard work. I am definitely in the "bike to eat, eat to bike" category. I love that commuting to work on my bike and running a little, plus being just generally very active, allows me to eat a lot of pasta, because, well, I love pasta. It tastes good.

I usually have a few bites of the veggies I am chopping while I prepare the meal. I find that I am less hungry when I actually sit down to eat, eat more slowly. Like Biciclista, I hate that "stuffed" feeling if I've eaten too much. I always try to stop eating a few bites short of that. I'd rather have a snack later.

Most of the food I consume is made from scratch, most of the time by myself (or my husband). One of the things I abuse a little is cheese. But I only buy really good cheeses, and I wouldn't eat huge amounts of it anyway (it's expensive). I don't butter my toasts anymore, so I figure that I can have another bite of cheese now and then. It's a matter of choosing my sins.

Baking takes some time commitment that I don't often have, and I won't buy baked goods at the store. Sometimes I'll have pie. Guiltlessly. Even if I know how much butter there is in the crust.

Food is never taken away as a punishment. I can't imagine dieting. But then the most "overweight" I've ever been in my life is by about 10 pounds, at a time when I was eating more cheese and being less active (took transit to work instead of bus/walk). Conveniently enough, I was very, very sick for a few weeks and lost those 10 pounds. Then I also lost the boyfriend I had then and picked up a much more active lifestyle which turned out to be healthier.

Sorry for rambling. I love food. I think a huge part of the "food problem" in Western societies is the incredible amount of convenience food that we consume. I feel that by making food an integral part of my life, and not just a "plug in," I might be doing something right. But I'm not sure...

I hope this inspires you somewhat...

[is76]

rather interesting I have been experimenting with the food I have been eating since my first post.

I have always loved fruit and veg and cut out processed crap a few years ago. However over the past few week I have been eating much more naturally. Plenty of fruit/veg/lean protein and reducing wheat and diary. As I result I felt great and energised. I was waking up before my alarm clock and had not urges or cravings for chocolates etc. However the last couple of night I have been out with friends and eaten mince pies,cake etc. What a complete difference. Waking up in the morning I feel like I have a food hangover and so sluggish.

So maybe I am finally starting to listen to my body and I am realising more than ever the foods that make me feel energised.

As an aside I was in the supermarket and looking all she shelves stacked with xmas food. Yuck! My poor digestion almost ground to a halt looking at it.

So any more stories to share?

[Crankin]

I would say I am more like Grog. I love to eat, love to cook, and I really don't eat any junk either. I will spend money on fresh fruit in the winter or good cheese and I really don't even look at the price, because it's healthy and better than eating candy.

I started exercising and eating this way almost 30 years ago, when after I got my first teaching job, which included the benefit of a "free" home cooked lunch at a residential school, my dad said, "you're getting a little porky, Robyn." Not nice, but true. I am 5' 1" and never had to watch what I eat until then. I get annoyed when people make comments about how disciplined I am or that I am like some kind of super freaky person because I don't sit down and eat a bag of chips on a regular basis. I go out to eat a lot and I love to cook. I plan for times when I know I might have something that will make me gain and I allow myself a range of acceptable weight. If my clothes start feeling tight, then I do something.

[shootingstar]

If I eat anything, I always gravitate towards its least processed state (it can be cooked properly but not pre-processed).

but I digress, food secondly to me..is a means of sharing something good with someone else or sharing/having the memory of people that I knew/know but are far away from me right now. It's probably healthier for my cooking style to keep this cooking/cuisine "memory" and practice since I was fortunate to be have been raised on a healthy diet for lst 20 yrs. of life ..instead of adding more sugar in my diet...because that's where I am falling now.

I no longer bake any dessert except for my dessert focaccia...which is super healthy. But then we have restaurant meals with elegant desserts...


Also am now snacking way too much and too late at night. It's all healthy stuff but too much is not good. Having a job that gets me late at home is not for my eating patterns. But this is temporary..

For me, food is culture, family and discovery ...the problem is controlling myself in trying the possibilities out there.

[hirakukibou]

My relationship with food feels complicated. I don't really like cooking but am a pretty good cook when I do. I also am an emotional eater and eat when I am upset or lonely or depressed. I am working on ways to curb this because I will binge especially at night. During the day I don't eat enough. I am on medication that has the side effect of killing my apatite. I need to find a much better balance of eating to feed myself and not to soothe myself. Thanks for starting this interesting thread.

[tulip]

Maybe it is a French thing, Grog! I'm the same way. Living in France was such an eye opener--food is so important in so many ways--where it comes from, going to the markets to buy it (not the supermarkets), cooking, and even growing my own food. It's just so interesting! I'm a cheese fan, and if I actually had a decent cheese monger in these parts, I'd probably eat alot more of it. I had a great fromager in France; he would put aside the best camembert for me every few days. The go across the street to the boulanger for bread, and around the corner for produce. Then there was the butcher (actually the volailler--poultry guy)--I made friends with him and he was able to procure a turkey for Thanksgiving for me--that was quite a feat in France. It was just such a pleasure to plan, shop, prepare, and eat food there.

I try to shop like a European, but it's difficult here. It's easier in big cities. Here I go to the farmers markets and to small shops. I get my meat directly from a farmer, but I still end up going to the grocery store for things. And unfortunately, I have to drive to most of these places, although I do bike occasionally.

I don't have much of a sweet tooth anymore, and I don't tend to snack. In fact, I have to remind myself to eat or I get all woosy. I just really enjoy taking my time and eating well, but if I get too busy I forget.

[lph]

I started thinking about this thread again when I was on a weeks holiday just now with some friends, a family with two kids. I love food, but it's fuel, and most fancy dinners are wasted on me. It was interesting watching how the kids ate. They're all quite active and we went cross-country skiing every day. My son likes to eat the same thing every day, but unless it's something he loves he needs pushing to eat. He just doesn't get hungry, it seems. And he hates trying new things. Our friends eldest eats what he's given and doesn't make a fuss. Their youngest, however, is hungry all the time. He's ten, like my son, tall for his age but is also getting quite chubby. He adores all food, and will eat anything not nailed down. Our friends try to limit his intake a little, but I notice that they mostly just delay him until we could all eat together, but they didn't seem to notice what he actually put in his mouth. For example - we got back from skiing and made a bowl of guacamole with chips to snack on before starting dinner. Most of us just dipped in and ate a little, their youngest almost sat in the bowl shovelling in the chips, then asked for something to drink and was given two full glasses of milk. Or he would always ask for, and be given, a second or third helping of dessert if there was anything left.
My point, I guess, was that even people living together doing the exact same activities and eating the exact same food can have very different attitudes to food. Some are indifferent, some eat obsessively, some wil home in on the most calorie-rich foods. I think these parents believe their kids "eat the same healthy food that they do", but haven't really noticed that that isn't the case.

[RoadRaven]

I was wondering what everyone's relationship with food is?

Welcome to the board, is76



Traditionally (I am speaking mostly "anecdotally/social perspectives - although there is some research to support this) women's complex "relationship with food" begins in their teens. This is usually triggered by two things - often in combination

1. a close family member (brother, father, grandparent...) who makes a comment about puppy fat or about about being slightly heavy
2. saturation images in the media of thin-ish women and fad diets

Thats when we start feeling guilty about that chocolate biscuit, about having dessert/pudding, about a second helping of pie. Traditionally, men haven't gone on these self-imposed guilt trips - although more recently it appears men are also becoming obsessed in similar ways (witness the rise in male anorexia, male body image mags and products, plastic surgery to reduce or to insert pecs or calf implants).

It has taken me about 30 years to stop feeling guilty (this guilt began as a pre-teen who was told, often, by my grandmother that I had thick upper arms and thighs... response? I stopped eating...).

So... my relationship with food? It has to be disciplined because I do like it alot. However, with my increased fitness (thanks to cycling) I don't feel like fatty or sweet foods too much, and when I do I only eat small ammounts and limit myself without thinking about it now - too much and my body says "yuck".

I also have a rule which I stick to most times - only eat when I am hungry. As young children we are taught to be grateful for everything on our plate, to not watse anything, to ignore the "full" feeling and finish everything on the plate, and to finish everything on the plate often meant a reward - dessert or cookies etc...
It takes alot of discipline to learn to recognise when we are really hungry and when we are actually eating just because it is social convention (a cuppa - and biscuits) or a time habit (its noon, so I better have lunch).
The only time I make myself eat when I am not hungry is when I know I have a long ride ahead of me, and then I eat something about 2-3 hours before hand whether hungry or not.

I wish you luck in finding what will work for you... but, if like me, you were trained to ignore your body when it said "enough, I'm full", then I strongly urge you to learn to listen to your body again... its a great place to begin.