first longer ride-mixed feelings

[Jiffer]

Sometimes it's hard to be the woman. We are simply not built as strong as men (typically). So, when we ride bikes with them, it is absolutely not fair that they get to ride faster, possibly even if they're not in very good shape. Yet, we have to work hard to keep up and get mentally discouraged.

I was enticed by the idea of cycling years ago, but I think think the idea of getting out on the road with cars and all that freaked me out a bit too much. And clipping in? No thank you!

My dh sucked me into his great love for cycling by talking me into getting a tandem road bike. This was both extra freaky, because I had to completely trust him, yet strangely comforting, because .... I basically DID trust him. I knew he was a strong and safe rider. And he told me over and over again (when I'd panic about something) that he rides even more cautiously with me than he does on his own. I have to remind myself of that when we're flying down a hill at 40 mph or about to take a turn at a relatively high speed, or approaching an intersection that I feel like we should already be slowing for, yet we're not.

Anyways, I was lucky to learn the ropes of road biking by riding on the back of a tandem. It wasn't long before I was itching to get my own road bike and, when I did, I was almost immediately out riding it on my own, my first "long" ride being 20 miles a couple of days after I got it. (Remember, I had been riding the tandem, so I was comfortable on my own a LOT faster than I otherwise would have been.)

So, as far as you getting used to your bike, yes ... go at your own comfort level. Find other people closer to your level to ride with if at all possible. Tell your dh to keep it in his big ring and enjoy the scenery when he's with you. My dh doesn't ride with me that often unless we're on the tandem, but when he does, and we're on a hill, his goal is to get up the hill on his big ring with the lowest heart rate possible. I'm huffing and puffing and going 5 times slower than he would be were he going his usual pace. But he does it for fun every now and then.

Lately, we were able to do two back to back rides together where he wasn't going nearly so slow. He "pulled" me and two other friends of ours down to the beach and back, 66 miles, at an 18 mph average. While this was a killer hard ride for me, it was a moderate ride for him, yet he enjoyed it. It wasn't nearly as slow as he has had to go with me in the passed. I got stronger, just as you will. Things DO get better!

I do highly recommend you consider a tandem, by the way. It really is a great way for you and your dh to ride together at your own levels. You can both push at your own exertion level and stay together.

Lastly, our club has a women's only ride, where it's basically beginner to intermediate women, who don't ride so fast. It's possible there is a group like this in your area. Lately, I'm blessed to have a friend (that sucked into riding) and we ride together two to three times a week. We're right about exactly the same level. It's wonderful.

[RoadRaven]

Sometimes it's hard to be the woman. We are simply not built as strong as men (typically). So, when we ride bikes with them, it is absolutely not fair that they get to ride faster, possibly even if they're not in very good shape. Yet, we have to work hard to keep up and get mentally discouraged.

Hey there Jiffer. This is a good point you have made, and although it has been discussed before I just thought I would emaphasise it (via your words) again.

Women get disillusioned when they compare themselves to men. Some of our new riders over the past years have set themselves unrealistic goals and then become disappointed.

It is a biological fact that women do not have the same muscle mass as men. The only way we could would be with chemical enhancement.

Because men have more muscle, they are not only stronger with a better power-weight ratio, but they are more efficient in using oxygen (the more muscle you have the more efficienly the body processes oxygen in relation to your enrgy outputs). And thats even before either gender starts training in their fave discipline!!!

As long as guys and gals can realise and accept this, alot of the superiority/inferiority hang-ups both genders have will dissipate.

Be the best YOU can be. All you can affect is yourself and your own performance. And enjoy. That is the primo thing.

[RoadRaven]

RoadRaven- Good to know you love your Giant & good idea about recovery rides/no apologies. Here's a pic of my bike built up by my husband.

When I saw your bike, which is waaaay purty, I realised my bike is slightly different.

I have a Giant TCR Aero2.
Here is a thread with a pic as it comes from the factory

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=5608

And this is page 4 of another thread which has two of my bikes.

The blue EMC2 is now a training bike, but the lower pic of my silver Giant shows the modifications we have made - although I use trispokes now - the deep dish Grammos get pushed around too much in the wind for my liking.

I have taken one more spacer out of the stem to get into a more aero position, and I also have rotor cranks on it now.
I must get the camera back from son, and take a new photo!

Your man has done a fabulous job. Thats a really goodlooking velocipede.

[indigoiis]

I love your pretty red Giant!

Patience on the riding with your DH thing... you'll get there. I'm still not nearly as fast as Mr. Indigoiis, but I am faster than last year. And next year, I'll be faster yet.

[trinena]

Thanks indigoiis - I'll have to properly introduce my bike once I take better close-up pics.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Trinena,
Yes to everyone else's comments, and i will say you are doing WAY better than I did when i started 2 1/2 years ago!

but I'll add one more thing...
Please, whatever you do, don't let other people's impatience cause you to ride faster than you safely can. You do NOT want to be rushing through tricky intersections and narrow areas or speeding down hills just so you don't fall further behind anyone you are riding with. Never ride faster than you feel confident and in control.

Please do NOT compromise your safety in order to please others. TAKE YOUR OWN SWEET TIME when maneuvering through traffic and intersections. Remember you are not a seasoned rider and you will need that extra second or two of safety margin if you find yourself in a dangerous situation.
Your life is worth way more than trying to keep up with other people. You may have to tell them that, too.

[Momonbikemob]

Phew! It is so nice to hear all your comments about being nervous to ride out on the road at first! I ride on the trainer mostly because I want to ride and can only manage to get on the bike during my almost two-year-olds nap (she won't sleep in the trailer) and while my 5 year-old is in Kindergarten. On weekends my DH is baffled why I don't go out on the road. I always prefer the trainer because we live on a hill and I feel safer. I am simply chicken to ride on the road and am not proud to admit it, but that's the truth. I also don't feel comfortable with my mechanical skills enough to ride alone yet if something happened to the bike. I have only been out on the road by myself once in the last two years. I thought I was alone with my fears...
Anyway, Its great to hear the encouragement for Trinena and I wish you all the best getting out there with other riders willing to go your pace!
I am going to try to get out on the road more in the spring - after I get in better shape and after I find some other women my speed to ride with... my DH likes to go faster than I am able too. So I understand and sympathize and am encouraged by all that has been posted so far! Thanks!


momonbikemob.blogspot.com

[cobalt]

I am new too but I am fearless which is worse! I don't like to stop and I give my husband fits on rides. He says that once I have crashed I will be more careful...

He "mothers" me on rides and I don't like that.

I go your speed, wish we didn't live so far apart. Wouldn't it be nice to have a friend close by that you could ride with?

I do go by myself but it's getting darker earlier and it will be too cold soon and then it will snow. That will end that!

Just go for a spin around your neighborhood, a few miles, no need to always go long.

[jsdilks]

I'll second Jiffer's comments about a tandem. My DH has had to deal with my anxiety in many areas and he's been very patient. I was terrified of going down any incline, turning any corner, or going into the street when we started riding in April. So he backed off on his desired cadence level and I've gotten stronger. We're on bike paths for the most part too - I wouldn't be very comfortable in the street. Some of our rides now get us out into streets more than when we started - but I'm reassured because I know that dh is making eye contact with drivers at intersections and we always follow rules of the road (even while other bikers all around us blast through the stop signs or turn in front of cars...makes me nuts.) He gets a good workout too, because our efforts are at different levels. Some days he just ends up pulling for us both because I give out. But I warn him ahead of time when that's coming. And we have lots of communication all the time - that's the basis for tandem riding for us. Comfort level increases though with time and repetition. And then confidence will generate into better rides for you too!!

[gingerale]

DH doesn't ride bikes so when I do ride with someone, it's usually my dad. LOL! Of course, it's a little embarressing because my dad is 67 yoa and is amazing on a bike. The man can climb hills like he's in his 20's! Not me. I'm a hill slug through and through! LOL But he enjoys when we ride together so he refuses to go ahead of me, even though he's stronger. He'll go as slow as I need to go, which I admit does sometime get a little annoying. I do push a little harder when he's with me because I don't want him to have to go too slow. But all in all, we enjoy our time together when we can ride. And even though I know how to change a flat, he's awful handy to have around when I have a tire go down! LOL

I did agree, for the first time the other day, to ride with him on a long stretch of a semi-major roadway. We didn't see a ton of cars, but it was enough for me. There's a difference riding in the state park where I ride and a car pass me at 30 mph versus one passing me at 65-70 mph! I have never been so happy to finish a ride in all my life!! Won't be doing that again anytime soon, I don't think. My dad is way too much of a daredevil for me.

[Tuckervill]

That is so cool that you get to ride with your DAD. Cherish that, my dear.

It also points out a difference between older and younger men (or maybe husbands and fathers). Patience. My dad would be just like that with me, if he were a cyclist. There is an older gentleman who leads a beginner's ride. He can smoke almost anyone, but he won't, because he says he enjoys "smelling the flowers".

You are so lucky to have your dad to ride with. Make sure you tell him thanks!

Karen

[channlluv]

I'm with you. My favorite route is around (and around and around) the five-mile paved path that rings a reservoir near my house. I did 25 miles there today. Almost no car traffic at all, and those that were present are limited to 15mph.

There were a lot of kids on bikes there today, and I'm pretty sure their parents bring them there for the same reason I'm there. It just feels so much safer.

Of course, that said, I've wrecked there twice (once when my daughter crossed in front of me and I slammed on my breaks and flipped my bike, and the other when was strapped in - damn straps - and, yes, tried to get off the bike. I was going zero mph and approaching my own car, slipped one foot out to lean toward the ground, and leaned the other way...Roxy fall down go boom), and one of my daughter's little friends went over a rocky 12-foot embankment into some bushes when a pedestrian didn't yield the middle of the path and the girl couldn't safely pass her on the left (a blader was coming), so she had nowhere to go but over the edge to the right. So, really, it's only sort of safe. But, man, that 25 miles felt good today.

My knees tonight are feelin' it, but the whole time I was riding today, I was singing to myself, "I am powerful, and my body feels great. I am powerful, and my body feels great." And then I'd go into my "135" cheer, over and over again, like a rap song, "One-thirty-fiiiiiive, one-thirty-five, one-thirty-fi-i-i-i-ive, one-thirty-five." A friend loaned me her copy of The Secret on CD and the weight segment advocates focusing your attention on your ideal weight rather than losing weight. It is supposed to help re-program the brain to get my body to my ideal weight. My actions have to support my thoughts, though, so 25 miles is my new workout goal.

I'm not sure I could do it in traffic, though.

Roxy

[gingerale]

That is so cool that you get to ride with your DAD. Cherish that, my dear.

It also points out a difference between older and younger men (or maybe husbands and fathers). Patience. My dad would be just like that with me, if he were a cyclist. There is an older gentleman who leads a beginner's ride. He can smoke almost anyone, but he won't, because he says he enjoys "smelling the flowers".

You are so lucky to have your dad to ride with. Make sure you tell him thanks!

Karen

I will. Thanks!

[Jallora]

My DH is usally pretty good, but I still get frustrated with him now and then. In fact, this weekend I told him that I'm going to carry my airsoft gun and shoot him in the butt with it when he gets too far ahead of me. I've actually stopped at a bench before and waited for him to realize I wasn't with him anymore and double back. He's really good when it's just the two of us, but if another guy is with us the testosterone starts flowing and he loses brain function.

He was getting frustrated with me with not being able to do the same speed as he does for as long. He developed a little more understanding when he realized during the Olympics that the women pros don't ride the same distance or at the same average speed as the men do.

[GraysonKelly]

Hey there,
Wow! Do I understand where you're coming from. I have only been doing this for about 5 months now but up until last week I was doing it all on a Mountain Bike (who by the way looks exactly like your bike except of course that she's a mountain bike). Anyway, I always ride along because my partner doesn't ride. I am naturally cautious about where I ride and how I ride, but on the new bike it's almost like learning all over again. I can't imagine trying to keep up with others right now until I get comfy. Patience, patience, patience....number one rule. At least for me. You'll get it and probably blow him away a time or two. Good luck and don't quit, you're doing great!
Gray