Totally understandable. What I would do is find a long flat, not very crowded trail, even if I had to go out of town to do it, and ride for some miles, practicing clipping/unclipping, etc. I would do it repeatedly till I got that automaticity you're talking about that would make you feel safer in traffic.
"My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved;I have been given much and I have given something in return...Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and an adventure." O. Sacks