Diagnosis- NEGATIVE!!

[Running Mommy]

WHeeww!!!
I dodged a couple of bullets this summer, which have only made me appreciate my health even more.
First scare:
I had the rogue ovary. Some of you may recall that in the spring I was having very bad cramping issues. I also do not get my period, and I started getting a very heavy period. Upon inspection by the doc she declared that one of my ovaries was enlarged. Many tests ensued, but the bottom line was whether or not I had ovarian cancer. Anything else would be just something to deal with. It was the cancer issue that was the biggie. Well I was poked, prodded, had needles stuck in me, many vials of blood drawn, etc. It was quite a process! I don't remember going through THAT much when I had cervical cancer, but I guess I did??
Anyway, I was sooo relieved when the ovarian cancer diagnosis was negative.
BUT then came ANOTHER issue. (Scare # 2 we'll call it)
In all the poking and prodding my doctor was doing she noticed that I had an enlarged lymph node in my arm pit area. I had never had a mamo before, so she sent me out for one.
Well wouldn't ya know it.... Something was awry.
I befriended the tech doing the mamo, and she showed me some spots on the screen. Usually they won't say anything, so I guess I was lucky. She said they looked like lymph nodes to her, but that I should expect a call back. This kind of made sense in a way since the doc had noticed that swollen one.
Sure enough, I got the call...
So back I went to be poked, prodded, ultrasounded, needle biopsy'd, and of course... MORE blood drawn.
The ultrasound chick had the bedside manner of a stump, and the radiologist she called in wasn't much better!
At one point she was shoving the ultrasound wand into me so hard I actually said "OOWW". I have a HUGE pain threshold, so when I say OW, it HURTS!
OY!
So I have spent the better part of the last two weeks in fear that I seriously may have breast cancer. For some reason it really got to me. I have been on edge, near tears constantly, could not sleep, and actually got so stressed out the other day that I threw up.
I'm usually very thick skinned. But this one had me as fragile as an antique tea cup.
Well this morning my cell rang. I saw that it was my doctors office. I was SHAKING as I picked up the call. To my relief it was her telling me that the tests came back negative. I burst into tears. I think that confused her, but I was just soo relieved!
There are definetley spots in there that she wants to keep her eye on. She also wants to keep an eye on my ovaries, SOOO I'll be back for tests again in 6 months. This is just to see if anything has changed.

Post script:
I think that this whole ordeal gave me a new perspective on things. First of all my husband and I have been working in jobs that we HATE, with the desire to get out on our own, Chart our own path. I think this was a wake up call reminding me of my motto "You only get one chance at life. Do what you love, and live life to the fullest. Have no regrets". I need to listen to my own motto! I have had an idea for a triathlon t-shirt company for about 4 years now. I think I'm going to finally go after my dream.

Also, I have always done the (reebok) subaru womens tri in San Diego that benefits ovarian cancer, and felt near to the cause because of my past with the cervical cancer. Last year I ran with a survivor. She was a great lady, and I felt honored to be running with her. When I was going through the tests I thought about her alot. Tonight I signed up for this years race.

But like I said, the breast cancer thing really got to me. WHY I thought that would be worse than ovarian cancer (ovarian is way scarier) I have no idea? Maybe it was just the culmination of everything?
People always used to ask me if I ever did the "race for the cure" races. I always said "no. they aren't really my thing". Nothing against the charity, it just wasn't for me. But I have a new appreciation for them now. I'll look at them with different "colored" glasses, if ya know what I mean.
I just kept thinking "I might be one of those women at the races wearing a "survivor" cap. If I'm lucky"... It was very surreal. I guess I never ever imagined that *I* would get breast cancer.
But luckily, I DIDN'T, so I'm counting my blessings. I really am lucky to have my health, my family, and such great friends.
What more could I need??

Thanks for reading, and thanks for all your well wishes. It means a lot!
Please count your blessings, and don't forget to tell a loved one that you LOVE them. Ya just never know.

Denise

[mimitabby]

Geez Denise, sorry you had to go through all that. Enjoy life. I agree.

[KnottedYet]

Whew. What a relief.

Cancer sucks. My thanks to everyone who does any sort of "race" for any sort of "cure."

Danskin Tri is really a breast cancer tri, and I felt odd that they let me race as a "survivor" when my cancer was something else. But I'll tell you all that the incredible support Team Survivor got when we went up on stage during the tri pep talk on packet pick-up day was utterly amazing.

Thank you to everyone.

And do what you love! I'm gradually learning that life is just plain scary, and the things that scare me the most also teach me the most. I'm not quite as brave as you yet (I do watch the video!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGFx4xWnnnI Love it!!), but I'm working on it!

Triathlon t-shirts? I want one!

[Trek420]

Whew! What good news. But then one thinks of those for whom the news is not good. I know I've done multiple ALC's but cancer has cut a swath through my family and I had a minor (caught waaaay early) scare with skin cancer recently.

How 'bout this California tri that benefits the Breast Cancer fund?

http://www.seejanerun.com/t-See-Jane...neficiary.aspx

[crazycanuck]

WAHOOOOOOEEYEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

*phew*...I was hoping all the news would be good my dear and it was!

C

[makbike]

Denise:

I'm so glad you got good reports. Take care and enjoy life!

[spokewench]

So glad everything came out okay. Take care of yourself.

spoke

[Running Mommy]

Spoke- How is everything on your end??

Trek- When is that tri? I would do it. It looks like it's at the site of my very first race. I couldn't figure out when it was? But I did do a race for the cure tri in May. Now I'm extra happy and proud that I did it.

Cheryl- Here's a {{{{{{hug}}}}}}} back.

Mimi, knot, and Mak- thank you, thank you!

It seems that lately cancer has taken hold of a lot of us on this board in one way or another- mostly family members or dear friends. It's a big ugly wave.
My uncle who is morbidly obese (at least 500 lb), and diabetic was just diagnosed with kidney cancer. The problem is he's too big to get a CT scan. So they don't know how bad it is. He's trying to lose 25 lbs so he can get the CT. But surgery is scheduled. Unf. he has chosen a life path that is anything but healthy, so it's not a real surprise to any of us. But he is a great guy, so it is very sad. It's also sad how the doctors are treating him. It's not like he doesn't KNOW his reality, but they are so harsh on him. One tech suggested he go to UC DAVIS that maybe they had a scanner that he could fit in at their vet hospital.- As in one made for horses. The reality is they probably do, but it was the delivery in which the tech said it.
He was so upset that he didn't tell my aunt (his wife) until they were almost home.

Stay healthy girls! And become an ambasador for the kids. Show them what a healthy life path will bring, vs. a sedentary one with bad food choices.

Much love to ALL!
Denise

[alpinerabbit]

I am glad you are cleared of this nagging fear now and what you say about living healthily and all rings so true.

[Wahine]

Wow Denise. What an ordeal. I'm sooooooooo happy everything came back negative. ((((((((((((Denise))))))))))).

What a year you've had. I'm so impressed that you've come out of all of this with a posative attitude. You're tough. A lot of people would've suffered a serious emotional breakdown.

Take care and I like your idea of changing things up a bit. We should all live everyday as if it might our last.

[LBTC]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Denise}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

The butterflies are in a frenzy of happy energy now...and I've got tears in my eyes reading this thread. I'm so happy that you're healthy and thinking about making a move to a happier life, too.

YAY!!!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Starfish]

Denise, thank you so much for sharing your good news, and also for sharing your fresh perspective on going for the life we want, and making the most of this one life we're given. You are a strong, tough woman, and I'm grateful for your reminder. Go for your dreams! The scary ones can be the best!

[Mr. Bloom]

Really, really sorry you had to go through this ordeal...and with some insensitive professionals for the ultrasound.

BUT...VERY VERY GLAD of the outcome Hooray

[teigyr]

Denise, I am so glad you're ok. I know how scary it is though and how things can just blindside you.

I had a dermatologist appt last year with a new physician. She became very worried about a bump I have, in fact I've had it for as long as I can remember and I was told it was nothing. She started feeling lymph nodes and did a HUGE biopsy. I waited for results and as my stitches started itching (and we were on vacation) I'd be reminded. Fortunately, it was nothing. She called me on the weekend because she was relieved...I guess if it would've been bad it would have been Very Bad. I've also gone through ovarian cancer scares (have had both removed) and my dad was in ICU on full life support this past winter NOT due to ovarian cancer (duh!) but complications with kidney cancer.

Anyway, you are so right. We just never know and we can think life's going ok then BAM, something can happen. I greatly believe in not being complacent and have done rides/fundraising for hiv/aids, ovarian cancer (the tri I'm doing on Sept 9 is for that -- I signed up to raise $500 for it but haven't even tried raising money so I guess I might be donating it maybe), and breast cancer. Even if these things never touch us directly though odds are they will, we owe it to each other to do it.

I'm glad that you're seeing the positive from your experiences but I wish you wouldn't have had to go through it. It's scary and nobody should have sleepless nights due to things that we should be able to cure. Because of the tri and my past, I've been researching ovarian cancer and that is scary stuff. Also the "female" cancers tend to mess with our identities; both breast cancer and ovarian cancers. Survivors have to go through so much beyond just getting healthy.

I am LIKING that See Jane Run tri!!! Being that my name is Jane and I try to run, it'd be great to do that tri! Maybe next year it'll be my goal and it would be way cool to wear a shirt from that

[Tri Girl]

Wow, Denise, so sorry for all you've been going through. You continue to be a lady that I look up to for many various reasons- but one I'll probably never meet. Now I have one more reason to look up to you and look to you for inspiration- that you're taking life by the horns and pusuing your dream. I'll buy one- heck, our club buys hundreds of tees every year for races- and I'd pitch the heck out of your comapany to the RD's.

Take care of yourself and be good to you! Thanks for the reminder to live each day like it's the last. Love and hugs!!!