OY! Mothers!! (Yes this IS cycling related)...

[Duck on Wheels]

Well, I'm near your mother's age (59 next week), and 2 years ago I did about the same. My sister (Trek420) wasn't there to advise me, so I wound up buying a bike that, well, I guess it fit well enough, but it weighed a ton and it was a women's frame bike (not WSD, but the kind you can ride in a skirt and that has inefficient transfer of energi from back wheel to front) Trek just about had a fit when she saw what I planned to ride on at the Cinderella century. One LBS she took it to to get it prepped for the ride said "I give her an hour." So she took it to her favorite LBS, had slicks put on it, and off I went. Managed 42 miles in rain, hail and headwinds. Not so bad. And it was fun because I had a fun lady to ride with (Mel -- another TE gal). Then, when I felt I could afford to trade it in, I got a much better bike. So do not despair. Get your Mom involved with TE. We'll back you both up with plenty of encouragement.

[KnottedYet]

Trek just about had a fit when she saw what I planned to ride on at the Cinderella century.

I heard stories about that....

[Trek420]

Have fun riding with your Mom, gear down, slow down, take the computer off the bike and just have a fun ride. Show your Mom she can have a good time on the bike, that's her idea of a good time.

Is there a route that's short, easy maybe stop for coffee in the middle or just enjoy a view? Don't lecture, don't train, just show her riding is fun and take it from there. If she likes it she'll ride more. If you lecture, show off, complain about the bike and she may stop.

Once she sees that it's fun and that it's a connection to you, she will have questions and lucky her she has you to answer them.

Like you I love my (also Duck on Wheels) Mom so much. There's little if anything that I know more about than her. It's not only that she's brilliant, and the older I get the smarter I know my Mom is. I'm sure a lot of us feel this way. It's the way she organizes, presents and retains ideas and information.

My Mom never learned to ride a bike, as far as I know the only time she rode was on the back of a tandem when courting with my Dad.

But when I was little she taught me how to ride mine Riding with family is a great bonding experience, you're lucky to be able to go on a ride with your Mom.

Fitness is different at any age. My Mom gardens. After my Dad died when she moved to a smaller place in town she noticed that her fitness level was down. Instead of gardening, farming really 3 acres she now had a standard city back yard.

So she took action. She's 85 BTW. She didn't wait to have it prescribed.

Now in addition to gardening she walks. I have a hard time keeping up but whenever I visit we try to enjoy a walk together, or if there's an errand in town we walk to it.

Mom's my inspiration. I'd like to be as fit as possible as long as I can. This enables her to continue to pretty much do whatever she wants or needs to do at an age others are much impaired.

[Trek420]

I wound up buying a bike that, well, I guess it fit well enough, but it weighed a ton and it was a women's frame bike (not WSD, but the kind you can ride in a skirt and that has inefficient transfer of energi from back wheel to front) Trek just about had a fit when she saw what I planned to ride on at the Cinderella century.

We were at Moms and DoW says "go look at the bike, it's in the garage. "

I think my jaw dropped. "How the &^% are we going to do this with this bike "

One LBS she took it to to get it prepped for the ride said "I give her an hour." So she took it to her favorite LBS, had slicks put on it, and off I went.

I tried to rent an alternate bike from Cyclepath in Hayward. They did not have one in your size. The manager there gave you "10 miles, or an hour, whichever comes first" on the Giant Sedona womens frame.

My LBS said the only thing we can do is put slicks on.

Both were pleased you survived 42 miles of the brutal-epic Cinderella Century. I'm proud too.

Then, when I felt I could afford to trade it in, I got a much better bike. So do not despair. Get your Mom involved with TE. We'll back you both up with plenty of encouragement.

Duck's right, encourage your Mom and bring her here. DoW's bike was not a box store bike, just wrong for a Century.

The bad thing about box store bikes is people give up on cycling because they are just so so... the good thing is if they get that to get started and go on to get a better bike.

[Running Mommy]

Do you ever regret starting a thread?? Well this is one of those threads...
SHEESH!
I really do not expect my mom and dad to ride anywhere NEAR the mileage that I ride. I fully expect them to be around the hood cruises. And I'm sure they will be slow ones at that. Like I said, there are all types of riders out there, and I value ALL of them. As far as I'm concerned as long as your happy and your riding, it's all good.
But YES Southern Belle my mom DID ask me about getting a bike in our convo a few weeks ago. And that is when I told her to wait and I'd go with her. And as for my dad, well I just shake my head at him. He's a lifelong alcoholic and could really care less about his health. I have gave up trying to be encouraging to him. Lets just say that he needs a heart operation, but he refuses to get it because the meds he would be on would force him to stop drinking.
But I found your response quite snarky. Sheesh! NO need for that. So much for that sweet southern charm...

What I was really hoping for was stories of folks who went from the couch to the bike and are happier for it. Esp. those folks that are perhaps a bit older. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "well if I was young like you I would take up running" . I would certainly encourage her in whatever she did. She is always complaining about how she "needs" to do something, but I think she needs a kick in the pants to get going. It's like she's stuck in a sedentary black hole.

And I certainly hope I'm wrong. I hope that the bike DOES fit. Knowing my mom the way I do, if I can just get her out there and happy I think she'll stick with it.
So if anyone else (thanks trek and duck. I LOVED that story!) has anything encouraging for my mom I would appreciate it.
If you just want to blast me, well... whatever.. Blast away.. (as Denise ducks from eggs being thrown at her)

[SouthernBelle]

You asked for opinions. Based on the conversation you related, I gave my opinion. I didn't call you names, or make personal remarks. It's a shame I didn't receive at least that courtesy in return however you felt about my opinion. I gave my reaction to what you related.

Now you've added on additional information which I was supposed to magically intuit. Although it really doesn't change my opinion of how you spoke to your mother.

[DDH]

Here's a story for you.
My Stepmother who is in her mid 50's started riding a big heavy cheap bike she bought from the px last year, back and forth to work. She was very heavy and 2 years ago had gastic bypass surgery and after losing over 100 lbs she started riding this bike. I still had my mountain bike and had started riding again last summer after I quit smoking and was trying to get into shape and lose weight, so her and I started riding together off and on last summer and let me tell you, she kept up with me just fine on that heavy clunky bike. My DH and I told her several times that she would be amazed at the difference if she bought a better bike, but she did not want to spend a lot of money on a bike when she wasn't sure she would stick with it and that is why she bought that one.
Well, last summer was when I got my new hybrid Cannondale so I sold my Stepmother my mountain bike (cheap) since I wouldn't need it, so she could have a better bike to ride and we all went to the Waco wild west organized ride last year and she and my dh made it the 50 miles and I didn't. I sagged out after I think 30 miles and just couldn't go anymore. I went back to the truck and waited and they both came in dog tired and ready to collapse but they made it.
I guess that big heavy clunky bike, prepared her better and got her in better shape, so when she got my better bike with the street slicks it was much easier for her to ride. At least that's how I justify me not making it and her beating me. LOL

Point being I guess, encourage your mom to ride the heavy cheaper bike and help her get the best fit with it she can, and when or if she falls in love with riding, then help her find a good bike that will last for her and fit her even better and she will be able to fall in love with riding all over again. I thought the same way as you about those cheap bikes, but my stepmother did fine on hers and I understood why she didn't want to spend a lot of money unless she found out if she was going to enjoy it.
Just think if she gets good on the big heavy cheaper bike, how much better she will be if and when she gets a good bike. Let her know she can always look around for a used one so she doesn't spend so much too.

[emily_in_nc]

I'm just envious that you have a mom who is willing to ride any kind of bike at all. I can't even get my mom to walk around the block. She's 72, so I don't expect her to go out and ride necessarily, since she hasn't been on a bike in many decades, but walking would be a good thing as she's overweight and hates it. But do anything about it that required EXERCISING???? Not gonna happen. It saddens me greatly, but she hates it when I nag or even nicely suggest, so I've just given up. When I see fit, trim women in their 70s out walking, I so wish that were my mom! It could be, but she has made the choice not to live an active lifestyle. The most exercise she gets is going to the grocery store and walking the aisles.

So, while I understand your frustration that she went out and bought a bike without you, just be very, very glad that she did that and that she wants to ride! I would give anything to be in your place right now.

Emily

[Trek420]

So, while I understand your frustration that she went out and bought a bike without you, just be very, very glad that she did that and that she wants to ride! I would give anything to be in your place right now.

Emily

Not to mention those who've lost their parents and don't have Moms around at all.

Three cheers for our Moms, riding or not we appreciate them.

After all where would we be without them?

[Crankin]

RM, I don't think you said anything wrong. I hear your frustration! We all talk to parents that way some time, jeez... Now i'm not in that situation, since my mom died almost 11 years ago. If she was here, she WOULD be out riding, even if it was on a crappy bike. She was very athletic and fitness oriented and walked 5 miles a day until she got liver disease. I think you just wished your parents would have waited and taken advice from you, because that means they value your opinion and even see you as an "expert" about bikes. Some parents just can't do that (like my husband's). I know that my adult children know a lot more than me about certain things and I definitely take their advice. On the other hand, I don't give any to them, unless it is asked for! Thankfully, they do ask because I have worked very hard to keep the lines of communication open.
So, I wouldn't feel too bad about what you said to them. As for the honey vs. vinegar thing, I can only do that so much, more in a work situation than with relatives. I guess I am not a "honey" type of person, being the mean, Northeast US person that I am! I totally understand where you are coming from.

[bmccasland]

RM -
I'm in the pushing 50 crowd, and will join in the fray

When I was evacuated for Katrina, my friends wanted to get bikes. I conviced them to go to the LBS instead of Wally World. The three of us bought comfort bikes and then thorougly enjoyed riding the country roads around where we were temporarily living. Probably kept us sane, or at least not at each other's throats during that stressful time.

Since then I have added paniers so I could run errands near the house - there are strip malls about 1/2 mile away at the edges of the neighborhood. I find my comfort bike more *fun* to ride than my road bike. More like when I was a kid, just tooling around the neighborhood, the point is to enjoy getting there, look at the scenery. And not quite feel quite so guilty riding to the French bakery for croissants on saturday morning

The point is to have fun while riding, not how fast you get there. So let your Mom have fun, and if she wants something more, or her bike gives her trouble, then recommend a LBS to help her out - either with repairs or the gentle suggestion to trade it in for something else. Besides, hearing something from non-family doesn't bring in all those family *issues* that manage to insert themselves no matter what.

[pooks]

I'm younger than your mom, but overweight and VERY out of shape. So here's how cycling has made a difference for me.

It's the only exercise I ever LOVED. It's the only form of exercise that has me excited and wanting to learn more, do more -- though I admit I haven't made as much progress as I would have liked to in my first year.

But here -- this will tell a bit of the story. My first ride on my new bike a year ago:

http://planetpooks.wordpress.com/2006/06/11/success/

And five weeks later:

http://planetpooks.wordpress.com/200...ot-in-october/

See if that helps!

ETA: Oh, what bmmcasland said! If they don't already have them, buy them bike chains. Find some place fun to ride to -- for coffee or dessert or a burger or whatever. Ride together, chain you bikes outside, go in and eat and relax, go back out. Introduce them to how much FUN it can be to save money on gas and get the blood flowing!

[BikeDutchess]

My mom, like most people living in Holland, grew up riding her bicycle for transportation, but it wasn't something she particularly enjoyed doing. It was just a way to get around. She was happy to switch from riding to driving once she finally got her license.

In '79 she moved to the U.S. for 5 years and did not ride her bike at all during that time. After moving back to Holland, all of a sudden she caught the biking bug. She was in her 40's then. She and my dad bought good bikes, and had loads of fun biking together. They did all kinds of bike trips in Europe, including some with us when we were on vacation.

In '05 her right shoulder & arm were amputated due to cancer. That did not stop her from biking. She got a custom-made 3-wheel recumbent with all the controls on the left handle and kept on riding. We had a great bike vacation with her last summer, with her just zooming along on her "Buster".

My mom died 3 months ago at the age of 65 (the cancer finally got her) and it makes me so sad that I won't be able to go riding with her again, ever. I have wonderful memories of the biking we did together.

So enjoy riding with your mom while you can, even if she drives you crazy at times.

[KSH]

I'm just envious that you have a mom who is willing to ride any kind of bike at all. I can't even get my mom to walk around the block. She's 72, so I don't expect her to go out and ride necessarily, since she hasn't been on a bike in many decades, but walking would be a good thing as she's overweight and hates it. But do anything about it that required EXERCISING???? Not gonna happen. It saddens me greatly, but she hates it when I nag or even nicely suggest, so I've just given up. When I see fit, trim women in their 70s out walking, I so wish that were my mom! It could be, but she has made the choice not to live an active lifestyle. The most exercise she gets is going to the grocery store and walking the aisles.

So, while I understand your frustration that she went out and bought a bike without you, just be very, very glad that she did that and that she wants to ride! I would give anything to be in your place right now.

Emily

Emily, do we have the same mother? I think so!


Denise... yes, you do know better than your Mother when it comes to buying a bike. And yes, you could have helped her greatly. What's done is done though.

Just go out there, and ride with her some. Even if it's just a mile up the road and back, then so be it. At least she is doing something.

And... although we can be well meaning... and we can get so excited when someone we loves takes interest in something we love... it's sometimes best to just not overload them with information. For some people, too much at one time = frustration = give it up.

I understand my boyfriend to be one of these people... helping him is not helping him at all. So, when he said he wanted to train for a do tri's. I said "OK" and left him on his own. No advice, nothing. He did it on his own and was happy about it. Even recently, when I tried to give him tips on how to swim faster... it just got him all snarly and rude and he started saying that he couldn't swim. Lesson learned. Don't help.

Anyhoo... that's cool that she bought a bike at all.

[Running Mommy]

Donna, Emily, Robin, BMC. et al....
Thanks so much! I loved those stories and I will share them with my mom. I will also share with her the wrath that I got for giving her a hard time. She will appreciate it...
I think my written words "sound" worse than they really came across in person. You know it's all in the tone of voice. And written words have no "tone"..
And yes, I do appreciate that I have her here with me still. Losing her is something that I cannot even fathom. I guess that's why I'm so eager to help her get back into shape. I know deep down she really wants to. But I also know that pushing someone won't help either.
And KSH, I laughed about the tri thing. When Tony told me he wanted to do Ironman with me next year I was shocked. I actually made him wait two weeks before I signed him up. I just couldn't believe it! But he is dedicated, and he's kicking BUTT in training!! He is already so much faster than me! OY! What have I created?? heh heh heh