How do you...

[Bluetree]

...keep from going nuts?

Or rather, how do you balance work + training + social life and still maintain your equilibrium?
I've always been someone who works hard (ok, some people call me a workaholic) and maybe, perhaps, slightly... obsessive compulsive. But having a 60-70 hr. work week in addition to a triathlon training schedule is stretching me pretty thin.

It seems like if I want to do anything, something's gotta give. There's no wiggle room for anything. Do I want to have breakfast with mom? Okay, then I have to nix the housecleaning. Do I want to get my car washed? There goes the grocery shopping. Do I need to get my oil changed? OK, then I have to give up my ride, which will throw off my training schedule. My days are regimented to the hour, and every hourly "block" is reserved, planned, written down and accounted for, seven days a week. Lunch time is already gone (squeezing my swim drills in there, stuffing sandwiches down as I drive home) and dinner is pretty much eaten on my feet or on the road in between work-related errands. I'm usually an early riser, but lately I've been waking up at 3:00am, panicked that I've overslept.

I just want to crawl into bed and not come out for a couple of days. But no... I have my first USAT race in two weeks, a major project deadline in three weeks and an art show to prepare for in four weeks -- all of which I'm NOT prepared for. And last weekend a friend was visiting California, about 200 miles away, and I didn't go see him. Granted, he called me just a few days beforehand, but I REALLY REALLY wanted to see him... and I didn't. I kept my work commitments. How f-up is that?!

Sorry if I'm sounding so pissy, but I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

[Pika]

Bluetree- you somehow jumped into my life- somedays are exactly how you describe- always giving up one thing for another- one mis step throws off my whole day-
I missed my exercise yesterday because the time I alloted got used up for errands that I thought "will just take a min.." but by the time we were done - the window was gone and I was really ticked off the rest of the night! (poor dh, guess in hind sight it is not too much to ask to get gas in car, buy some groceries go to bank...except it ws my training time!!!)
On paper I know how to fix the prob but in practice not so much:
so I am just here to commiserate with you
Remember the key is balance
The fun stuff should always be fun, not seem like more chores.

[Grog]

You sound just like my sweet partner, aka the guy I'm going to marry in a few months!!!

This year, due to the intense stress of 3rd year med school, he's had to let go of triathlon training. He works/studies about 10-12 hours a day, not including call nights (24-hour shifts, once every fourth or fifth night), gets a bike ride here and there, but he can't crunch in swimming or running. He used to be a top age-grouper, and he's having a hard time getting out of "competition mode". He often gets pretty grumpy/frustrated about this.

I have no advice for you, but I don't think that's what you need, you probably just wanted to vent. However, if this was me - I'm a little more laid back perhaps, but it's all relative - I'd avoid feeling like everything becomes a chore. I don't think we humans can excel at all things, and our expectations should be set accordingly. But I'm such a slacker...

[KSH]

Hey girl... vent away!

I know for me... at some point... I just let something "give". For example, this past week, I missed my spin class. Oh well. It's OK.

Then on Sunday, I skipped running. Instead I slept till Noon and then I napped on the couch. I needed a lazy day.

Life goes on.

Sometimes you just have to say... screw it... and let it go.

Well, I hope things get a little better for you!

[Bluetree]

Thanks for the ear, gals.

Yeah, I tanked it last night. Slept 12 hours and blew off my brick this morning. Sometimes you just gotta say, "WTF."

[spokewench]

I'm glad you took a break - Blue -

Please be very careful with a schedule like that. You know being competitive is good, but at the expense of your health it is not. If you are that stressed and scheduled, it is not good for your health. Please think about this seriously.

And, 60-70 hours a week at work???? WTF???? This country is ridiculous! That is no way to live your life. Why do you work so much?

[Bluetree]

My boss is a b***h.

Oh, did I mention I work for myself?

[spokewench]

Yeah BLUE - But you did not answer my question! WHY DO YOU WORK SO MUCH????

I'm worried about you!

[Bluetree]

I can usually keep my work weeks at under 50 hours (except in October/November when my clients commission their Xmas stuff). A couple of months ago, my agent retired and I haven't found a suitable replacement. Also, my prmary gallery was sold and changed their focus to landscapes/seascapes, leaving me without representation.

So I'm doing double duty for now. In addition to producing my work, I have to take care of advertising/promotions + marketing + contract negotiations + printing + accounting + everything else, etc.

So I still gotta put food on the table, plus Baby needs new pair of aerobars.

[Wahine]

Blue - I agree with Spoke. This schedule sounds crazy. The first thing I have to say is...

Take it from someone who knows, a schedule like that will get you into trouble sooner or later. You can maintain that kind of pace for a time but then something has to give. It'll be your schedule or your health.

My little story. I raced at a competitive level for several years. Eventually I decided I wanted to do IM Can. I didn't sign up ahead of time so I had to qualify at a 1/2 IM race. I trained really hard. During my training schedule my father got sick and passed away, I had several other deaths in the family and my Mom had a heart attack. My family commitments blossomed and I kept training. I made it through that season but didn't qualify. The next year I signed up and hired a coach. The coach saw my potential and pushed me very hard. I ended up sick with 2 bouts of pneumonia and at least 3 other infections of some sort while training. I completed IM Can and I was happy with my finish. But there were ladies there that I used to beat regularly and I couldn't keep up to them anymore.

The next year I treated training very casually. I started coaching some friends for HIM races and I went out on workouts with them at waaaaayyyyy below my normal speeds and intensities. I raced the HIM just for something to do. I had my best race ever. I would have PRed had it not been for a flat. My immune system was still suffering from the last few years of abuse and I continued to get sick frequently.

It has taken 2 years off of competition to bring my immune system back where it belongs. This year I'm training hard but being much kinder to myself and my season started out with a bang. I feel fantastic.

I guess I'm trying to give you an example of what can happen. Be careful.

I have a couple of specific suggestions:
- Hire someone to clean your house if you can afford it. It will give you a little play time.
- Find another agent. This should be a priority. You need to decrease your workload.
- Keep your weekday workouts intense but really short, 30 to 45 min. Leave all the long workouts for the weekend. This might not apply to you that much since you likely keep your own schedule.

Take care Blue and let us know how you're doing.

PS - My SIL in LA was an artists agent once upon a time. I could ask her for some recommendations if you like. PM me.

[tygab]

Been meaning to respond to this thread... but with all my training have less time to be on the forums

seriously though this is partly to commiserate and partly to find out what people consider "normal" training time to be. I have read several books/articles etc and the low end is 4hrs/wk, but something else I just read says 7 hrs per week for a sprint tri. Huh? That seems like a lot for average and for a sprint tri in particular. Are these people doing bricks everyday? Figuring that it's not a "do all 7 on the weekends" kind of thing, I don't see how this makes sense for the average week. No way that would work for me, and I don't have kids, much of a social calendar, & work less than 50 hrs/wk (even drifting toward 50 I find very tiring/demanding so can't imagine what people who work 55+ hrs do to stay sane).

Truth be told, I could complete a sprint pretty much now with 3-4 hrs a week training in the gym, and it isn't even optimal time of year for us out here (that is to say, we will have more time to be outside on long rides or runs, as the weather starts warming up, get sunny, etc). It wouldn't be fast, but I am pretty confident I could do the distances reasonably comfortably. But I am also not starting from scratch in exercising, I have a pretty good base I have been maintaining from last summer (and now starting to hone again).

I also want to improve throughout the season [unlikely I'll ever be fast but hey it's fun to visualize], and I am pretty sure I'll work to an Oly distance this year, so my weekly plan will have varied intensity weeks leading up to my prime event(s) in late summer. However, my toughest weeks won't be squished into weekdays, so even then I'd only figure maybe 5-ish hours during the workweek. I am curious on what kinds of time people put into various distances.

Anyways, I just think there's no possible way you can burn all these fires full time. Take breaks, remember that REST is just as important as training. Sometimes, other stuff has to come before training too. Sometimes, other stuff has to come before WORK. Just gotta go with the flow of where you feel your energies are best balanced. One thing I love about the very nature of triathlon is it forces training balance not only per event but also as a whole. If you only ran, you'd have a major challenge in the swim, bike, or both. Likewise, if you put everything into the Monday workout, you'd have nothing in the tank for the rest of the week. If you don't have rest/recovery weeks, then you won't get thru a season of training well.

I know I am still learning and will be for some time to come, but I try to view the goals on the bigger picture rather than getting pulled into the frustrations of the day to day. Otherwise I probably would have given up already!

Take care,
-T

[Grog]

seriously though this is partly to commiserate and partly to find out what people consider "normal" training time to be. I have read several books/articles etc and the low end is 4hrs/wk, but something else I just read says 7 hrs per week for a sprint tri. Huh? That seems like a lot for average and for a sprint tri in particular. Are these people doing bricks everyday? Figuring that it's not a "do all 7 on the weekends" kind of thing, I don't see how this makes sense for the average week.

Very briefly - don't want to hijack the thread.

I think that if you're looking to complete a sprint triathlon, 3-5 hours a week is fine. That's what I'm doing in the winter months (December, January, February), according to my training log on BeginnerTriathlete.com.

If you're looking to improve your times, I think 7 hours a week would be indicated.

I don't train for triathlons but I run and cycle, and swim a little. In the summer, when the bike kicks in, I'm probably training about 9-12 hours a week, including long weekend rides.

I'm a PhD student and "work" (i.e. sit at my desk or do PhD-related tasks) about 40 to 50 hours a week. I live with 100 other graduate students so my meals are the main part of my social life. I also visit my future-family-in-law with my sweet partner once in a while. Sports/training constitutes the most of my leisure and uses most of my "disposable time," the rest of which goes to TE.

I have done it in the past, but I can't imagine myself working 70-hour weeks anymore, year-round...

[Crankin]

Be careful. I happened onto this thread, even though I gave up the idea of doing a tri. Besides the fact that swimming scares me and I'm a slow runner, I know I could probably complete a sprint tri now. The times wouldn't be pretty, but I would definitely finish. So why didn't I commit?
Well, I've involved in training, aerobics, cycling for about 25 years. I am one of those people who seems to have a much lower tolerance for overloading/stressing my body with huge amounts of training. I am getting over a very bad bout of bronchitis/asthma, etc that has had me down for almost 7 weeks. I'm pretty sure that this is a result of the winter training program I was doing. The cycling was at such a high intensity that it just breaks down my immune system. Then, when I started doing winter sports, that put me over the edge (just ask Deb W. how slow I was when we went skiing). I've had heart palpitations, sleepless nights, and a never ending series of allergic/bronchial things from over training. Then I get stressed from not exercising when I have to rest. It's a nasty cycle.
So, with work stress and the fact that I still have a couple of friends left who don't cycle that I like to see, sometimes I say "Today I am going to be a normal person," i.e. someone whose entire life isn't planned around how to get my ride/hike/yoga/weights in. You need a mental break sometime! Or, I go for a ride with someone who is slower than me.
Most people who don't train the way we do think it's an amazing feat. Keep it in perspective...

Robyn

[Kimmyt]

This thread has me wondering if my sudden increase in illnesses this year (usually I am never sick... this year in the space of 2 months I have gotten bad strep throat and a really really bad cold I am still recovering from) is due to my increase in training, or if it is just because of some bad sicknesses going around.

I know I got both infections from a coworker, but I wonder if I would have gotten them if I gave myself some more time to rest.... ruh roh

Good luck though with regulating your schedule! I couldn't imagine doing 60-70 hours a week at work, but then 40 is practically too much and I certainly don't love what I do like I'm sure you do.

[Bluetree]

Thanks for all your kind words of support, gals, it really means a LOT.

I can usually handle a heavy workload, as I don't know any other way to live. My grandparents instilled in my parents the Japanese work ethic, which they passed on to me. So even as a kid, I never had summer vacations (always in academic camp or summer school), never took a spring break (best time to prepare for finals), never NOT worked (had a job since I was 16, even when carrying up to 24 units in college), and so on...
Hard work does not bother me, as long as there is a purpose or goal in sight.
(BTW – It's hard to think of life as difficult when you grow up hearing your parents say, "You think this is tough? Try living through a nuclear bomb." So basically, I got the lazy knocked right out of me from an early age. )

But I often have no idea what to do with myself when I'm not working (or as my mother calls it, "not being productive")... so I tend to take on more projects or challenges to fill in the gaps. But occasionally, I run out of gaps to fill and things start to overflow. Like now.

So I'm eternally grateful to hear your words of support. Yeah, things will calm down after April. Yeah, I will hire a new agent and a new gallery. For now, I just have to vent a little, put my nose down and wait for the skies to clear. Soon.

Thanks again.