OT - moving daughter up a grade - opinions?

[DrBee]

This is majorly OT, but thought I'd post it here to get a wide point of view from TE...

As some of you know - I'm switching jobs and moving to Louisiana. My daughter (FishJr) is currently in 4K. She is having fun, but is bored and dissappointed because she says she isn't learning anything. She is doing math (addition and some subtraction), can write all of her letters, her name, and numerous other words, etc. She's mature for her age (emotionally and intellectually) and her teacher suggested that we put her in Kindergarten when we move.

I know we have some teachers here and others with opinions. What do you think? Is there any benefit to advancing a child a grade at this age? I've looked at the curriculum for the school that she will attend and she's already doing what they are supposed to accomplish in the first quarter of Kindergarten and some of the second quarter as well.

We've talked with her about it and she says she want to make the jump to K. I don't want to put too much pressure on her.

[mimitabby]

what is 4K?

[DrBee]

4-year old Kindergarten. They learn letters, colors, numbers, days of the week, etc. It's 4K/Pre-K, but is a full day at elementary school, not a daycare center.

[Haudlady]

Disclaimer - I'm not a Mom!

I would contact the school at your new town, and see if you can talk it over with the kindergarden teacher there. That teacher may have an opinion!

My niece is three, and is very verbal and smart (I swear it's not just my bias!)... she is in daycare a few days each week, and they moved her in with the four-year-olds because she didn't want to have to keep playing with the "babies."

Obviously - this is your kid, so you need to make the decision. I was the youngest in my class all through school, and it was fine... I didn't feel any problems or differences developmentally compared to the older kids in my grade.

Good luck!

[mimitabby]

I'm not a teacher, I'm a mom. I think the maturity level is the most important
thing. My two sons were very bright, but very immature. My older son was
on the cusp, could have gone to school with the older group, but we decided against it, and it was a good thing. (we could have kept him out of school
until he was 10 and it would have been a good thing) but i digress.
If she's mature, doesn't mind being the littlest, and the teacher is cool with it; it's a great idea. That was my personal experience, (being the youngest
and smallest in my own school experience) and i don't think it hurt me a bit (it was good for my ego, instead!)

mimi

[spokewench]

My sister skipped 5th grade and later when on to college at the age of 16. She loved books, school, learning and is now a professor. It worked for her great!

On the other hand, my 5th grade teacher told my parents that I should skip 5th grade. My parents and my teacher asked me and since I love sports, people, social stuff, etc., I did not want to skip a grade. I did not skip and it worked out for me.

So, I think it really depends on the child, the child's likes and wants, the level of boredom, and WHAT THE CHILD WANTS>

I know she is really young, but ask her!

[Bluetree]

I would definitely recommend it at that age. I do not have any children, but I did skip a grade (2nd), went to school with other gifted children, and had a BF who skipped THREE grades.

When I was moved up I felt lost at first. It wasn't because of the lessons -- those were simple -- it was leaving all the peers with whom I had grown up. It wasn't like moving away and not seeing them anymore. It was moving to the next classroom and being forced to make new friends when your old ones are just yards away. In your daughter's case, she doesn't have this issue, so I say go for it.

Regardless of how tough it can be, I don't like the idea of holding kids back. One of the traits I noticed with bright kids who were restricted to their age level is a sense of arrogance and entitlement. They KNOW they are quicker than their peers and unless they are continually challenged, their boredom could have less positive results. And yes, I speak from experience.

I recall being an obnoxious little turd until I was put in my proper place. Luckily, I had excellent teachers and counselors thoughout my pre-collegiate education who looked out for me and challenged me at every turn.

[PAP103]

My son (now 21) was the youngest in his class. His birthday is 8/31 which is the cutoff for our school system. He has excelled in school, sports and socially.

My friend's daughter skipped a grade and is the youngest in her peer group. At age 13 or 14 when with friends a whole year older, it can cause problems of 'growing up' too fast and/or trying and learning things at too young an age. She is now 16 with classmates 17 and 18. She expects to be able to have the priviledges of the 17/18 year olds. Needless to say, her mom is having problems with her. But she has done great academically.

Tough decision, I'm sure. Good luck with it!

[Trekhawk]

This is majorly OT, but thought I'd post it here to get a wide point of view from TE...

As some of you know - I'm switching jobs and moving to Louisiana. My daughter (FishJr) is currently in 4K. She is having fun, but is bored and dissappointed because she says she isn't learning anything. She is doing math (addition and some subtraction), can write all of her letters, her name, and numerous other words, etc. She's mature for her age (emotionally and intellectually) and her teacher suggested that we put her in Kindergarten when we move.

I know we have some teachers here and others with opinions. What do you think? Is there any benefit to advancing a child a grade at this age? I've looked at the curriculum for the school that she will attend and she's already doing what they are supposed to accomplish in the first quarter of Kindergarten and some of the second quarter as well.

We've talked with her about it and she says she want to make the jump to K. I don't want to put too much pressure on her.

Oh the joys of moving. I think sorting out the school issue is the thing I hate most about moving. Different places different grades etc etc. Anyway that aside when we moved to the USA from Aust we were a little unsure of how our boys would get on at school. Our school year runs from Feb to Dec so coming half way thru the USA school year meant either the boys going forward or back six months we elected for them to move forward. This was probably the biggest leap for my middle boy who went straight from Preschool to half way thru Kindergarten. My boys are doing really well and have had no problems. That being said when we return to Aust we will again be in the same predicament. Do we go up six months again which will make them a full year ahead of their peers in Aust or put them back into the grade they would be in if we stayed in Australia. My husband and I have opted for returning them to the grade they would be in if we stayed in Aust which means they will really be repeating six months of school. For boys I think maturity, size etc can all be an issue.

Talk to the schools but you as parents know your child the best. Most good schools will know this and work with parents to achieve what is best for your child. Being bored in class is not good for kids and perhaps the challenge of a higher grade is what she needs.

Good Luck

[MomOnBike]

Note the pattern here. Mostly the mothers of girls had positive experiences moving their kids forward, and mothers of boys didn't. This is my observation in meat space as well.

Sadly, I fear that little boys don't mature as quickly as girls.

My experince:

Elder Daughter (still the smartest individual I know) did not have any gifted/talented programs available in the small town we lived in. So she skipped 2nd grade. There were a few social problems later - a more assertive individual wouldn't have noticed probably, but all in all, it was a good choice. When the school tried to advance her again I resisted. That was just too much of an age diff.

Younger Daughter was a late August baby & the cutoff for letting her into school was (I think) May. She was reading at a 3rd grade level and doing division before she went to school. I fought to get her into Kindergarten "early." I won. She just started at Cornell a few weeks ago. Again, there were a few problems in High School, but I think there would have been far more if she'd been held back. She tends to need a challange.

So, my advice? Get your kid in a class that challanges her. I think she's ready.

[Bluetree]

When the school tried to advance her again I resisted. That was just too much of an age diff.

Absolutely agree, MOB. I skipped 2nd, and was up for promotion again in the 5th grade, but my parents said no. I never spoke up against it (I didn't want to sound like a coward) but I really didn't want to leave all my friends again. I was so grateful that they refused.

But that didn't help my academic situation. When I was in school (1970s, early 80s), there weren't many alternatives to skipping grades until high school, where AP classes were offered. I was enrolled in some extracurricular classes prior to that, but they didn't help ease the boredom of my required classes. When I said I was fortunate to have supportive teachers, I mean to say they went above and beyond their normal course of duties.

One teacher in particular skirted some regulations to help me through middle school. When she realized that the history lessons were not up to snuff, she gave me three months to learn the entire textbook and pass the final. The remainder of the year was spent under her tutelage in independent study (I wrote a paper on a famous artist who concealed secret messages in his abstract art to get nazi info to the Allies).
When this teacher caught me teasing a classmate for not catching on to something, she made me tutor that same student for the entire semester. I'll never forget her words when she caught me teasing that other girl, "You were given great gifts. That means you have a great responsibility. Don't make me wrong about you." Imagine a very large and angry black woman saying this through clenched teeth, getting right into the face of a cocky adololescent. I miss her.

Sorry to go so Off-Topic, but this thread really digs up some memories...

[Kitsune06]

This is majorly OT, but thought I'd post it here to get a wide point of view from TE...

As some of you know - I'm switching jobs and moving to Louisiana. My daughter (FishJr) is currently in 4K. She is having fun, but is bored and dissappointed because she says she isn't learning anything. She is doing math (addition and some subtraction), can write all of her letters, her name, and numerous other words, etc. She's mature for her age (emotionally and intellectually) and her teacher suggested that we put her in Kindergarten when we move.

I have no real education on the matter but my own experience, but because both my sister and I were reading/writing when we went into Kindergarten (no Pre-K yet where we were) we were both really bored, and out of that boredom and the awkwardness of being so advanced for our ages, other things developed. I got anxiety disorder and had panic attacks when I wasn't getting some kind of challenge (it lessened when I had advanced classes on the side, medication, etc, and stopped much later in school) and my sister developed an anxiety problem probably more due to the kids in her class singling her out for getting the best grades and always knowing the answers... Both of us would've done well to have been advanced a grade or two especially early on, because it would've kept up with our learning abilties. We were kept where we were because we weren't 'socally skilled' enough to be advanced, which was unfair (I think) because the only people we identified with on an intellectual level were adults.

I would say that the jump from pre-k to K would be just fine for her. It's when you start thinking about 16 year olds in college (a friend of mine did that, and though he was quiet and lonely for the first couple of years, he really developed after getting the 'hang' of it. He was a software developer and not very socially gifted, anyway) that you start running into some problems, but every situation is unique.