I know exactly what you mean!!!
I hate going commando, too. So I don't. Whatever. Except- I have a pair of Trashy Cat Sunflower shorts (which have a chamois you might like- very nice and technical- anatomical, but not bulky or stiff or paddish- and nice and small!!!) that are a bit too sheer to wear panties with, so I don't. Maybe you should try those.
I wear seamless Patagonia capilene panties, and have not died yet. Or just shop around for a pair of shorts with a minimalist chamois. They aren't all overly padded. Maybe you'd like the Canari Gel chamois! It's very thin, in a nice cuddly Polarfleece covering.
Nanci
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"...I'm like the cycling version of the guy in Flowers for Algernon." Mike Magnuson