Valentine musings

**SadieKate** · 02-10-2006, 10:49 AM

This time of year I am always struck by the multitude of advertisements about what he can give her for Valentine's Day. I never see any ads for what she can give him or better yet what each can do for the other.

I know, capitalism reins supreme but I think it is sad that we haven't advanced enough to at least get ads about women giving something to their male partner. I dislike the stereotyping of women's expectations.

The very first year Bubba and I were dating he went on a cruise with his mother over Valentine's. His father had died unexpectedly the summer before and his mother already had tickets for the cruise. So, he stepped in as her escort. Made my heart go pitter-pat that he would do such a thing. The cruise was all retiree-age so it wasn't like he was getting other fun and games.

Can you tell I'm gagging over the volume of diamond commercials? I'd barely recovered from the ones at Christmas.

**Pedal Wench** · 02-10-2006, 11:03 AM

Wow! That just brought tears to my eyes! You've got a winner with that Bubba of yours!

**yellow** · 02-10-2006, 11:11 AM

We're not "holiday" people, so we don't "celebrate" this one. We also don't buy each other "gifts" for Christmas. We do buy each other gifts, just not on a holiday schedule!

I've had two Valentine's Day encounters over the last week. The first one was on the bus, going skiing. People I see pretty much every time I ride that one. A couple of young guys were musing about "what to do for their girlfriends for Valentines Day" and I popped off, mostly to myself, with "Every day should be Valentine's Day". They just looked at me like I was from another planet. I'm sure they were thinking "But I can't afford to buy a diamond necklace every day." I refrained from explaining what I meant. I think they think I'm just a crackpot old lady anyhow.

And yesterday we had some guys here at the house doing electrical work. One of them says to the other,"So what are you going to do for your wife for Valentine's Day?" with a sigh that told me he thought of it as a chore. I too dislike the sterotypes and really feel for guys like this. So much pressure to spend money and be extra sensitive on one day of the year. Am I just weird or do most women really expect a big to-do on Valentines Day?

Oh, and when you don't have a TV and you had to turn the radio off because of the Utah legislature coverage (la-la-la-I'm not listening) you don't have to listen to the Tom Shane commercials.

**Trekhawk** · 02-10-2006, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by yellow

Am I just weird or do most women really expect a big to-do on Valentines Day?

If you are weird then so am I. You dont want to get me started on about Valentines day. The kids have a party at school for it. Please tell me what Valentines day has to do with primary age children????

My husband and I refuse to buy into this whole thing. I do prefer unprompted displays of affection.

**Veronica** · 02-10-2006, 11:24 AM

No party in my class. If the students bring Valentines they can hand them out, but that's it. And they have to give to everyone an dno playing favorites.

We don't celebrate it at home either. I figure Thom gave me a Valentine when he didn't gripe about me eating all the Klondike bars this week.

V.

**SadieKate** · 02-10-2006, 11:29 AM

Isn't ice cream high on the glycemic index? Therefore, you need it as training/recovery food and the calories don't count.

Good for you on the V-Day activities in the classroom. A romantic holiday and children? I'm with you and Trek.

**Trekhawk** · 02-10-2006, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by Veronica

We don't celebrate it at home either. I figure Thom gave me a Valentine when he didn't gripe about me eating all the Klondike bars this week.
V.

LOL - what a great guy.

I would probably gripe. Mmm Klondike feeling very hungry now.

**SadieKate** · 02-10-2006, 11:37 AM

Long but interesting article. Just what we need, school children participating in fertility rites.

http://www.historychannel.com/exhibi.../?page=history

If you aren't doing nice things for each other every day, giving diamonds 1 day a year isn't going to help.

**bikerchick68** · 02-10-2006, 11:38 AM

Oh man... this is a sore subject for me too... I just recently realized that I AM A GUY! LOL... my friend mentioned this holiday and my first thought was how to get out of it...

the man I'm dating already said he wants to get me something

crud... I don't wanna do gifts... and I don't want him to either... I told him so, but he's determined he wants to get something... he's not a cyclist so it makes it hard...

Maybe tickets to the Michael Buble concert... I think I can handle sitting thru that... not really my thing, but he likes him...

I said, can't we just go have dinner and skip the rest??? Sigh... he asked my clothing size... should I mention that I could use more cycling shorts and give him the SKU number???

just dinner... please...

**Nanci** · 02-10-2006, 11:22 AM

I think (most) men think of any gift-giving occasion as a chore- birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, anniversary.

I, OTOH, _love_ giving gifts, shopping, figuring out really cool stuff- so I love all the gift-giving days.

And I _do_ like the traditional VD trappings- flowers, dinner, (maybe cooked at home, maybe by me) and Godiva truffles!

I have a funny story, but actually have to do some work, will post it later...

Nanci

**Melody** · 02-10-2006, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by yellow

... and I popped off, mostly to myself, with "Every day should be Valentine's Day".

yellow, this is how my husband and I feel. We don't need a special day just to tell the other that we love them. Instead we say it everyday.

Or who knows, maybe it's because we've only been married for a year, but we have been together for 6 or so and in all that time this hasn't changed.

I personally generally am not a Valentine's day person probably because I have not so fond memories of it from growing up. Being the unpopular overweight and (dare I say it) ugly person in class I didn't exactly get any. My parents, unfortunately, weren't the type to tell us that they loved us or was proud of us. Instead we'd get the negatives when we screwed up and not the praise. Bundle the two and you get someone who was pretty screwed up emotionally. I'm just glad I'm over most of it.

I'm also not much of a birthday person either, at least not my birthday. I always look for what will go wrong and just ruin the day.

Mel

PS: I'm just a little down at the moment. I had a friend die a few days ago and found out on a day where I was already having a bad day.

**yellow** · 02-10-2006, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by Melody

Or who knows, maybe it's because we've only been married for a year, but we have been together for 6 or so and in all that time this hasn't changed.

PS: I'm just a little down at the moment. I had a friend die a few days ago and found out on a day where I was already having a bad day.

You're destined for a long life together if you've already figured this out! Lesee...together for 18 yrs, married for 13.5 and I love my DH more every day. I feel very lucky.

Sorry about your friend. Really makes you think about your own mortality, life, and how it all falls out. Any day could be our last...another reason that every day should be Valentines Day (in spirit, at least).

**bikerchick68** · 02-10-2006, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by Melody

PS: I'm just a little down at the moment. I had a friend die a few days ago and found out on a day where I was already having a bad day.

Melody... sorry to hear you lost a friend... life can be so danged unfair huh? here is a site you may find helpful to work thru your grieving process... it is an online memorial site, with message boards etc... has been OK'd for our use by the Police Dept, so I know it's legit and safe to use... hugs...

www.groww.org

**massbikebabe** · 02-10-2006, 03:29 PM

Valentines Day hhhmmmmm,

Don't think we have ever celebrated VDay in the 21 years we have been married. This year is not going to be any different. My Valentine helps me get up every morning, puts my braces on, sets up my toothbrush, blow dries my hair, helps me dress, feeds me and the kids, takes the kids to school, and then comes home to help me stretch stroked out muscles...don't think there is any diamond, gold, or other face out there that can do better than this Valentine...he is tops

I do however buy gifts for the children. Molly is getting the MassArt sweatshirt and Conor is getting a Bianchi multi-tool, and new celeste tape for his bars. I also make them choc. lollipops

I'm just a weenie when it comes to my kids

karen
getting ready to play in the da^n snow again

**Lise** · 02-10-2006, 03:44 PM

It is fun to get each other gifts when you just love an excuse to spoil each other.

It is gawdawful when you feel you "should" and he/she "should" and... yuch. I was remembering last year...when I was dating someone I should've already broken up with...and looking for a VD card that DIDN'T say "I love you"! Seriously. That should have been a clue! I ended up making a card. Because I was too much of a weenie to say, "Um, I don't like you all that much."

Blech.

Today I saw a Circuit City billboard that just said, "HE WANTS ELECTRONICS". There's your answer to the diamond ads!

My online dating saga has been mostly annoying, not even great stories to tell. I did reject one guy who's a cyclist...he started out lunch by telling me stories about 3 women who "done him wrong". You'd better believe I don't plan to be the 4th! He's also a successful, well-dressed lawyer who works in a nice building in downtown Chicago...and wears two "Live Strong" rubber bracelets with his suit. I don't wish to set off a firestorm of protest here on the TE board, just my opinion...but...rubber bracelets with a really nice suit make you look like an escapee from a mental institution! Argh! Running and hiding! Don't throw stuff!

Sooooo....no worries about what card to get this year! Whoo-hoo!

L.

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