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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Bedford, MA
    Posts
    212

    A Ride without Tears

    So I have started riding again -- after the long winter and after a time when riding the bicycle just brought grief and tears. Sunday I rode with a close friend and had a few fleeting moments when I didn't feel like crying and actually felt connected in a good way with my bike and with riding again. It was a small but significant victory. But I felt hopeful that I will be able to enjoy riding again after the homicide of my ex-husband, best friend and father of my daughter. I am also motivated by the knowledge that he would be so furious at me if I stopped riding because of his death. I can hear his voice in my head. So, I get on the bike and ride -- sometimes through the tears and occasionally without. I am hoping that spring will bring more ease.
    "Why walk when you can bike?"
    Luna Eclipse
    Fuji RC Supreme
    Fuji Touring
    Centurion Le Mans
    All have Selle SMP TRK saddles.
    My blog: www.thepolkadotjournal.blogspot.com

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Uncanny Valley
    Posts
    14,498
    (((((Hira)))))

    I'm glad you're healing and that you're finding some pleasure in cycling again. Take good care.
    Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Central Indiana
    Posts
    6,034
    (((Hira))). I'm so sorry for your pain. I, too, hope that it continues to ease. Hugs to you and your daughter.
    Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.

    --Mary Anne Radmacher

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    Posts
    4,632
    (((Hirakukibou)))
    At least I don't leave slime trails.
    http://wholecog.wordpress.com/

    2009 Giant Avail 3 |Specialized Jett 143

    2013 Charge Filter Apex| Specialized Jett 143
    1996(?) Giant Iguana 630|Specialized Riva


    Saving for the next one...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Suburban MA and Western ME
    Posts
    1,815
    Take the small victory. Soon, the riding will come without any tears. Glad you got to this point, and KNOW that it will get better for you.

    SheFly
    "Well behaved women rarely make history." including me!
    http://twoadventures.blogspot.com

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Rowland Hts, CA
    Posts
    461
    Wow. I don't know what to say except that I am glad that cycling might help relieve some of your emotional pain
    2014 Liv Lust
    2013 Specialized Fate Expert with carbon wheelset (sold)
    2012 Specialized Amira Elite
    2010 Santa Cruz Juliana with R kit and Crampon pedals (sold)

    2011 Specialized Ariel Sport,suspension post,Serfas Rx Women's Microfiber saddle (sold)

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    162
    Sending you a hug. I hope that each ride brings you closer to a better place. Grief can shake you for a very long time.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Bedford, MA
    Posts
    212
    Thanks everyone for your warm and supportive responses. I am hopeful that as the seasons change that my heart will grow a bit lighter.
    "Why walk when you can bike?"
    Luna Eclipse
    Fuji RC Supreme
    Fuji Touring
    Centurion Le Mans
    All have Selle SMP TRK saddles.
    My blog: www.thepolkadotjournal.blogspot.com

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Stillwater, NJ
    Posts
    21
    Spring is symbolic of new growth and beginnings. I hope that it will truly help you begin again but always hold onto to the pleasant times of the past. Peace to you.

    Rosanna
    It never gets easier, you just go faster. ~ Greg LeMond

    Trek Neko S
    Lemond Reno

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Whitmore Lake, Michigan
    Posts
    920
    "To every season there is a time..." I hope for you that as this seasonal change is taking place, a change will occur in your heart as well.
    Bike Writer

    http://pedaltohealth.blogspot.com/

    Schwinn Gateway unknown year
    Specalized Expedition Sport Low-Entry 2011

 

 

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