Body Image and other Random Thoughts

[Veronica]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately - especially on my commute.

I'm 39 and my husband of nearly 20 years tells me it's taken me a LONG time to make peace with myself and my body.

As a teen and 20 something these were the images carved into my brain by society:

Long and lean meant beautiful and elegant.
Petite and small meant perky and adorable.

Sturdy and average meant .... sturdy and average. Come on, who wants to be that?

I see the same thing happening with my 5th grade students. I have a girl who can kick butt on the soccer field - but she's bigger than the other girls. She thinks she needs to lose 20 pounds. It's ridiculous. She's as tall as me and has some darn powerful legs. She doesn't need to lose any weight.

Being healthy is so much more important. I have 3 sisters and two brothers. Only two of us aren't on high blood pressure meds -me and my horseback riding sister! My two very overweight sisters insist it's genetic. Yeah - partly it is. We all have the same portly shaped thighs. That's not going to change. But eating healthy and getting some exercise would help. Those portly shaped thighs keep from purchasing the latest fashionable pants. I can't do low waist. But they are also getting me through a very difficult double century.

In conclusion - LOVE YOUR BODY AND TAKE CARE OF IT! It is the only one you're going to get.


V.

[Grog]

Can I be your cheerleader V?

[ladyjai]

thank you V. How did you come to be happy with yourself? that's a story I want to hear! or did you just wake up one day, and go.. duh! silly me! ? I "know" these things, then tend to "forget" them... it's all around us, pressure to be a certain photoshoped way... maybe we should issue free copies of photoshop to all the ladies, and let them fix themselves in pics, since that's all we really see of the models? - though I think some companies that cater to cyclist women, have sizes messed up. I'd be a large or XL at some of these places... what's with that? there was that bib thread that got a few discussion points - an extra skinny model - medium???



You know, I have a theory on why men in general seem to be better cyclists than women (in general) - they weigh more, more muscle mass... not so say we can't hold our own, and I'd really like to see a woman in Tour de France, though that isn't likely going to happen any time soon.

[runnergirl]

There is a women's tour! It's just 1/3 the length and completely ignored by all media, except fot the one paragraoh blip it gets on cycling news.

dont' get me started on the state of racing for women.

Awesome post V! Health and fitness matter so much more, it's just darn hard to remember that all the time.

[SadieKate]

Good post, V. I read LadyJai's post last night and have been mulling over it but you put all my thoughts into words for me. I'm 46, have had weight challenges since college and body image issues since puberty when I developed curves way before the other girls. It's only recently I've come to peace with my body all the while my husband has been spouting the same stuff V's hubby is. 36 friggin' years of my life and 18 years of marriage. So, I'm a slower learner also.

Personal experience is that men have absolutely no problems at all with lots of curves. I attended a Covert Bailey presentation where he said to the men in the audience, "Am I right, guys? Women are supposed to jiggle?" The guys roared their approval. Yet, the print and film images we see from youth revere the women who are almost emaciated. It is a very difficult set of contradictions with which to come to terms.

I read an interesting article a few years back by Gabrielle Reece in which she talked about the same issues and that when she finally realized she stayed healthier and was a better athlete at a heavier weight than she could be as a model her whole mental outlook and confidence changed for the better.
http://blogs.health.yahoo.com/get-he...gabriellereece

LadyJai, I can't tell you to stop worrying about your weight. I still think about it because I love to eat. However, I have finally realized that my body is strong, healthy and has some darn attractive features so my weight no longer controls me but I control it.

[Pedal Wench]

..... I'm 46, have had weight challenges since college and body image issues since puberty when I developed curves way before the other girls. ....

Wow. I think you just nailed it for me. I had posted a long reply to V's initial response, deleted it, read LadyJai's, posted, deleted, but now it all kinda makes sense. In the fifth grade, when I was about 11, 12 years old, I was the second tallest person in the class. Boys and girls. I also felt like the biggest, weight-wise too. Developed early and teased constantly. Well, the problem is, my wishes came true - I never grew any taller. So, today, at 5'4", I STILL feel like the awkward giant that I was when I was twelve. I know what size my jeans are, yet I still feel huge. I just KNOW I tower over people who are much taller than me. I feel like I'm the same height as my boyfriend, except that every once in a while, we're hugging and I have to look UP into his eyes. How is that possible? In the same way I distort my height, I know I distort my weight. I'm 43, but inside, I'm still the clumsy, big girl I was at 12.

[Veronica]

thank you V. How did you come to be happy with yourself? that's a story I want to hear! or did you just wake up one day, and go.. duh! silly me! ?

I have always been fairly active, but not slim. I was distance swimmer in college and a lifeguard. When I started teaching I got less active and the pounds crept on. As long as I was in the 160s and could wear a 12, I was unhappy with myself, but figured that's what happens as you age. The school year of 2000 - 2001 was very difficult for me. I had a good class, but I had a lot of other responsibilities and I wasn't getting a lot of support from administration and I was totally stressed out all the time. In retropsect, I suspect I was depressed. I ate - a lot. I would eat an entire bag of minature hersey's candies in a single sitting. By the summer of 2001 I weighed 180 pounds and could not fit in size 12s anymore. I gained 20 - 25 pounds in that one year!

For my body, having to buy 14s, meant I was fat. I was okay with plump, but fat was not okay. There is a thread called Losing Weight where I talk about what I did to get the weight off. Now I wear an 8 or a 10 depending on the cut.

But it's really been in only the last two or three years that I have really become content with what I've got. I would love to have a figure like akaKim. Which I'm sure cracks her up. But I don't and I can't. Yet I know that I am strong, not just in my body, but determined. Some would say stubborn. I've ridden to the top of mountains when I feel like puking and with saddle sores that are bleeding. But I also know enough about my body to determine if this is pain I should stop for. I may not be the sveltest or the fastest. I have yucky bulges in spots when I wear lycra. But too bad... I'm riding my bike and having fun. I know I'm making the most of what I've got and that's all that matters.

It helps too to have a totally loving and supportive husband. He's always been there, cheering me on.

V.

[Trekhawk]

Well done ladies. Its good to see woman standing up and saying Im happy with my body even if it isnt the Magazine image of what is perfect.

I was standing in the line of a check out the other day glancing at the mags which I refuse to buy and saw on the front of one learn how to loose weight like a certain actress (sorry I cant remember her name) with a picture of this bird in a bikini on the beach. I came home and latter was checking the news online and I see the same actress with headlines that she came out on some TV interview and told how she was bulimic. Im wondering is this what they listed inside the mag as the secret to how she lost weight hmmm Im thinking probably not. Its very sad.

Now at 41 I actually like the way my body looks more than I did at 20 dont get me wrong Im not saying it looks better I just like it more and respect the amazing things it has done for me like giving birth to three beautiful boys. Ive come to accept that I will never have an ultra flat belly again and things jiggle more but my husband tells me he loves me more each day and that his heart still flutters when he sees me after returning from a trip away.

I feel strong and healthy and happy.

[Grog]

It helps too to have a totally loving and supportive husband. He's always been there, cheering me on.

I think that's part of the picture, too: when a man (or women, or both, depending on your preference, or anyone, anyway) tells you you're beautiful, believe it, smile, and say "Thank you", which will make you even more beautiful. Even if it's someone you don't know on the street (in which case a smile and reply will make you feel and seem more confident than if you rush past without looking at the person in the eyes, anyway). Smile at people and let them smile back to you.

I am quite convinced that those skinny models are there for women to look at, not for men.

(However, in defense of tall and slim ladies, which I am not part of, I have to say that that Asos model was a tall girl and would not feel happy or comfy in a size S. Not that she cycles anyway. But I don't think the S-M-L-XL system is really to be taken as an absolute measure of who/what we are.)

[aka_kim]

I would love to have a figure like akaKim. Which I'm sure cracks her up.

Why thanks. But since I wear a size 8 too, we must not be that different. But I've never been happy with my body either - and padding in all the wrong places is only one of my many problems. I just try not to obsess (too much), and to stay active.

[Veronica]

Why thanks. But since I wear a size 8 too, we must not be that different.

It's the legs Kim. I want your long, lean, strong legs.


V.

[luv'nAustin]

I have spent my entire life feeling like I've been overweight and as long as I can remember I have been denying myself meals. I am 5'2 and until I reached my 30's (I am now 43) I weighed between 105 and 112. I look back at pictures taken of me from those years and I can see that I wasn't overweight...at all. Why the poor self image?

Not sure what happend when I hit my 30's, becuase somehow I managed to creep up to 130 while still avoiding most meals. Now I didn't just feel fat, I was, and my metabolism was completely wacked! And tell me, just what kind of example did I set for my daughters? I know...terrible! They are now 18 and 20 and eat like normal people. Thank goodness I don't have to carry that guilt around with me.

I must also admit that I have been an active gym member for the last twenty-three years. However, these last three years I kicked it up from five (one hour) workouts a week, to seven. Most days I train for two hours, but when preparing for a tri, or getting ready for a Grand Canyon trek, I can easily kick it up to three or four hours a day. So how does one drop the extra pounds? I'm not sure if it possible for me, but with the extra activity these last few years I have become very strong...and fit. My doctor thinks the weight is fine and I am coming to terms with how I look. However, deep down, I still yearn to drop some weight and look as "fat" as I did in my twenties!

[massbikebabe]

V;

Well said on both posts!!! I hope your little school girl does not develope an eating disorder. To me bein able to kick some butt on the soccer field is most important!! My daughter is very petite...she is 18 years old and 4' 9"...but she is a my "Tiny Toughie". She is into all sports, excels at field hockey, and rides like a "little warrior"...she too has had body image issues. I remember when she was in 5th grade, and had just gotten her period, she was mortified
because she was the first in her class. I felt so bad for her and spent hours
talking about healthy eating, good bones etc. AND SHE LISTENED (YEAH!) Now she gets on my back about balanced nutrition etc. Society today makes it so hard for women to be women. Every ad, commercial, has women as toothpicks and not with appropriate weight. It sickens me that we have become a society that only looks on the outside of a person and not at whats on the inside.
FYI, when I got sick I was the thinniest I have ever been, but 6 months in the house has really packed the weight on for me

karen
looking for my weight watchers scale

[Lise]

It's good to read these posts. Although I'll admit that the topic is anxiety-provoking, so I haven't read everything closely, just did the best I could. I'm 5'8", currently weigh 150#. Since becoming athletic about 3 years ago, I lost 30#, and became much more muscular. I am so proud of the muscles in my legs and arms. I've still got a blobby belly, big breasts, and a flat butt. I don't care about the flat butt. I wish the front were as flat as the back.

I feel huge--like I tower over people. Like my femurs are unnaturally long (they're not). My breasts started to grow in my late teens, and they are now 36D. I don't like the attention I get from them, so I'm not fond of standing up really straight! I forget to suck in my belly all the time. I hate seeing pictures of myself in lycra. Yet...here's a picture of me running the marathon. I love the way I look. I look strong and happy. I'm aware that the black running shorts sort of hide the belly. So what, I have a belly! Sheesh!

My mind SCREAMS that I don't look like an athlete. I respect the women who post here--strong, smart women, cyclists, racers, etc. It helps to hear that your bodies aren't what you think they should be. Because I "see" you all in my mind as heros.

Lise

[Veronica]

Ahhh... anyone who can actually run more than a mile is an athlete in my mind.

It's easy for me to say from 34 B ness.... But stand up straight and be proud Lise. Anyone who thinks you're just a set of boobs is a twit! Besides standing up straight makes your tummy look smaller. I'm speaking from experience here.

V.