Another ex question

[badger]

I've not heard from him since late November so I really want to keep it that way, but...

I have a few boxes of his stuff (mostly snow boarding clothes) at my mother's place. She asked me to move those boxes because she's selling her place. Since they're not mine, I have no idea what to do with them. I have no space for his junk and I really don't want to ask him what he wants done with them. I'd sooner just give them to charity, but like I said, they're not mine.

Thoughts?

[shootingstar]

Tough one. Could someone ask him on your behalf, that at least you want his ok, to give them away to a Goodwill store? (At least the money is not for yourself. But for charity.)

[badger]

That's the whole point, I don't want to open any channel of communication and it would be difficult for him to pick up as he's in England.

[Irulan]

Just get rid of it already.

[Owlie]

I'm with Irulan. He hasn't asked for it back, and I don't think you want to ship it to him. Get rid of it.

[PamNY]

He's in England and he hasn't asked for it? Donate it.

[Wahine]

Be honest with yourself. Which is going to make you feel worse: the guilt from just giving his stuff away or the aggravation of trying to find some friend of his to either take his stuff or contact him about it? Once you figure it out go with whatever works best for YOU.

I think that roadie gal phrased this perfectly. Think about what is going to be the least emotionally disruptive for you taking into account feelings of guilt and potential stress if there ends up being contact between the two of you.

When my ex and I split, we went back and forth a fair bit where he didn't want to hear from me and I didn't want to hear from him. When we were not contacting each other for emotional reasons, if I really needed something that was at the house (it took a long time before the "stuff" side of things was sorted out), I just sent him a brief and polite to the point email and a neutral drop off was arranged. The stuff that I didn't think of until 1 year later, well a lot of that got thrown away or donated, whatever. And guess what, I don't miss it. So while I was annoyed at first that he had done this with some of my stuff, in the end it realy didn't matter and I was fine without it. So, I would say that if he hasn't mentioned it yet, then he's not really all that attached to it. He could have contacted your mother afterall, he didn't even have to contact you directly in order to get it.