Being married to a cellphone or I'm just a luddite

[shootingstar]

Only in part jest.

Some people really use their cellphone as a crutch for all sorts of things.
A few co-workers were busy on their cellphone one-quarter of the time at a annual Christmas restaurant lunch.

None of them have jobs which require that they be on call.
I thought it was rude. Thankfully yaaked happily with 2 other colleagues (1 in her late 20's, other closer to my age, who didn't pull out their cellphones at all.).

[zoom-zoom]

A few Christmases ago my MIL was newly dating her fiancee. She sat at the table reading and sending texts and giggling during the entire meal and the rest of the day (and for about the first year they were dating she would do this regardless of the setting, even in restaurants). It was unbecoming behavior for a woman in her 60s (were she my child I would have taken the phone away). It was around that time that she told us that she liked to text while driving and was getting really good at it. It was obvious that she thought we would find this to be funny...we didn't. And we told her that is we EVER caught wind of her doing that with our son in the car that we would never again allow him in her vehicle.

[shootingstar]

Wow, zoom zoom. Good thing you said what needed to be said about driving and texting.

Just flippin' scary...and she's not getting younger as a driver.

[Bike Chick]

We have a friend who will sit and text and piddle with their cellphone while we are having dinner in a restaurant or at our house then get upset if they are left out of a decision or important conversation. My tongue has bled many times. It is so rude. You wouldn't have a separate conversation at dinner with another person at the table so why would you converse with someone using a cell phone? If it's that important, excuse yourself from the table. I've often wanted to text this person myself when this is happening just to point out how rude it is but I haven't. I really think people get so wrapped up in their electronic devices, they don't think about how impolite it is. DH has even picked up his cell phone and checked messages when I am talking to him! I don't let that one slide.

[Crankin]

My phone stays in my bag, unless it is ringing. If I need to call someone or text (which is usually only for work), I excuse myself. Honestly, I would have to start searching the web or go on TE, to be holding my phone in my hand all of the time and looking at it. My friends also do not feel the need to be in contact all of the time, like this. I have one friend, who is kind of, well, not entirely OK both emotionally and cognitively. She started texting me all of the time a couple of years ago, when I never even turned on my cell phone. I was getting charged for all of these texts, so I had to tell her to stop. She also posts really dumb stuff on Facebook (like the fact she's away on vacation) and brags about her college aged son. She likes/makes a comment about anything I put on there, which is usually only things about my rides or other outdoor stuff, and she has no knowledge of any of these things. Then, she will call what I do "cute" or "sweet," which to me is what you say about a little kid. It really annoys me, to the point that I don't hardly put anything on FB.

[pll]

I have progressed towards being a luddite... When the first Treo appeared, I was the first in line to get one. I thought it was a time sink. And a money pitt: $70 per month in service, over $2500 over the contract period plus the cost of the device. Such amounts of money are better spent elsewhere: a new bike, a new bed, traveling.

Anyway, when I go out with friends, I often turn the cell phone off when I arrive at the meeting place. After all, I am there to meet with my friends.

I think tinkering with phones is a very bad habit. Doing it over a meal with friends or family is downright obnoxious. Don't get me started on people texting and walking like drunks on the street...

Crankin: FB has a great function to avoid seeing annoying/lame updates from acquaintances -- you can unsubscribe from their feeds. Either click and hold on their names to see the "subscribe" button; click on that button to limit what you see.. or go to their pages and click on "subscribe". I have one acquaintance who believes Sarah Palin walks on water, another who continually posts comments that imply complaints about everything, and some cousins that refused to be educated and to mature beyond 12 years of age... Not seeing their feeds when I log in is so much better!

[spindizzy]

People always seem to want to be where they're not. I personally find this behaviour appalling. My family hears my observations about this all of the time.

I once saw a couple going for walk. They both had their phones out, texting to ?. Not interacting with one another. I see parents in playgrounds, texting and talking on their phones, not interacting with their children. So many people are hunched over their electronic devices that I'm sure evolution will alter our upright posture to a hunched over one. It's like using the handicapped push button to open doors...people not using their arms in a full range of motion we'll be like T-Rex in a few millennia, teeny little useless arms...I digress- I'll stop the rant...

[shootingstar]

this is only partly related to cell phones--is how many personal phone calls some people make and receive during the workday. When did it become the norm for everybody and their brother to chat throughout the day? Several people I work with spend half the day on the phone with their spouse, friends, children, etc.

I could not function nor focus on a task at hand at work when alot of my work requires thinking, formulating words, etc. on the job. This why I don't want hardly any trivial personal phone calls comes through the day for the all the years I've worked.

Same for him. I know he and I would feel like the other person was "over parenting" the other person with trivial, nitpicking phone calls on planning, personal detail...except where we are going to meet after work.

A woman who sat in the car on our way to the restaurant, confessed she was tied to her cellpone. I said it was a different dynamic with my partner: no need. And I did say: I also don't have children...which in my mind is less of a reason for me to be glued to the phone/worry. I said there was no need for us to constantly consult what the other person was buying at the grocery store....etc. We just look into the fridge, make a judgement and if we buy an extra vegetable...big deal.

Actually when my partner's children were teens, he did not have a cell phone to monitor them. They took the subway on their own starting in their early teens, onward.


I understand partially the fascination to technology, since after all, I do use the computer alot at home after work. But for certain, the constant communication with loved ones over a cell phone, would drive me nuts. I was raised by parents who worried alot about us and were quite strict. Also I had alot of responsibilities as a first born child in a big family. So now as an adult, the whole idea of a cellphone and having people becoming overinvolved in my life, is a big turn-off.

I like to feel calmness and at peace without cellphone callers bugging me about trivial stuff. Fortunately he's like myself.

[Crankin]

Indy, I also don't get the need to be constantly tied in to my spouse and kids. What would DH and I talk about when we got home? I *never* call my sons during work time unless it is of utmost importance. I do Skype/IM (no video) my older son when he is at work, as he has it on all day for work purposes, maybe 1-2X a wk. We have some of our best conversations here, but mostly it's more of "be here at 7 on Friday." I see people on their phones in the store, like they can't figure out what food to buy without a phone call.
Oakleaf, I can see why it would be hard for you to understand why my friend's comments annoy me. There's an underlying meanness to a lot of the stuff she says. I know it's "irritability" from some kind of mood disorder, and I really need my space from her, but we have been friends for 20 years and I have distanced myself as much as I can. She is very judgmental because she feels horrible about herself, her DH has anger/verbal aggression/control issues, and her college aged son is an immature frat boy who had to be bailed out of jail for public drunkeness. Yet, she will say something back handed and snarky about one of my kids. Or, say "oh, family is so important to me, meaning it's not to me, because I don't see my dysfunctional relatives anymore and I don't talk to my dad every day. And there's lots of other stuff, too. But overall, it's like she constantly gives backhanded, even mean spirited comments to everyone because she can't see the big picture or remember stuff. Probably the most annoying thing, is that if something was a certain way, let's say 15 years ago, she thinks it's still that way. Like if in 1995, my 13 year old son did something weird, well, he still would be that way, even though he's a grown, married man.
You'd have to meet her to see it.

[Anelia]

I like to feel calmness and at peace without cellphone callers bugging me about trivial stuff. Fortunately he's like myself.

We feel the same way. DH had a colleague at his ex-workplace who was constantly talking for hours with hid wife. My husband said that if I had been like that he would have left me
I understand that sometimes people have to talk business and it's ok but small talk for many minutes on the phone drives me mad. Texting is very slow on my virtual keyboard so I don't like that either.
Well, I have been chatting with friends on the Internet since the early ages of the network and maybe this is weird for many people who prefer to go out for a drink. I explain it because I am not really talkative and very often people talk non-stop in my presence. I am a good listener and don't mind it but sometimes I need to express my thoughts too, so I prefer writing.

[spazzdog]

Though I love tech, I get really annoyed with the constant tethering to cell phones I observe... folks walking, driving, cycling, skateboarding, or even sitting next to the person they are texting.

One, in many cases it's dangerous and in many places illegal. Two, it's rude. Three, folks are losing the ability to verbally relate in social settings. Fourth, nobody seems to care.

I write a letter to someone - I get an email or text back "Hey, I got your letter!". I call someone and leave a message - IF I get a response, it's usually a text. I'm sorry, but there are certain conversations/plans that texting really misses the mark.

Bah! Part of me can't wait for the power grid to fail so I can watch people learn to write with a pencil on paper and learn social behavior in the real world.

spazz

[Pax]

My seven year old Razr phone bit the dust recently so my SO and I went out and got iphones. I take it to work and leave it on the edge of my desk, check it every couple of hours to see if she's texted me about something... then take it home and lay it in the desk. We don't even take them with us on the weekends when were together. I guess we don't "get" technology.

[channlluv]

I also don't understand people who walk around constantly talking into a cell phone, and I really don't get the earwhiggy-attachments. I don't want anything like that so close to my brain for more than a minute or two at a time, if ever.

I have an iPhone, too, and I check my email on it, and text with family and friends to confirm plans, but I don't often use the phone function. My mom will call me sometimes three or four times a day just to tell me something she forgot to tell me before...I shouldn't complain, but to be honest, I will sometimes turn my ringer off for a few days. She'll leave messages. Anyone who calls, if it's important, will leave a message. I rarely actually answer the phone. I do return messages, though not always in a timely manner.

I actually use the GPS/maps feature pretty often, but the most frequent app used is probably Scrabble. I don't use anywhere near the data minutes we're paying for, though. We should probably reevaluate our plan soon.

Roxy