Simplefying the Holidays

[grey]

I always wonder how we survive December - where in one month we decorate our houses inside and out, bake ourselves silly making cookies and candies, buy everyone we know a present we hope they will love, send everyone we know or knew 10 years ago a handwritten letter, attend lots of parties where we have to look fabulous and festive (and bring more food and white elephant gifts).

Any ONE of these things in a normal month would be considered a lot of work!

Despite my perfectionistic tendencies - despite the fact that I love to decorate and would love to go crazy making my house magazine-spread-worthy, and love setting a stunning table and hosting fabulous meals... there's this thing called reality. This reality says I am working hard at a fledgling business in a difficult economy. I need sleep more than I need a gorgeous, drool-worthy tree.

Further, I struggle with the materialistic tendencies of this time of year. Black Friday is my concept of a nightmare: crowds and people fighting over "deals" that are not really bargains at all. And at the end of every holiday, we are all stuck with gifts we didn't want, do not need, and feeling terrible that people we love wasted money on us! Perhaps the last isn't true of everyone - I have strong minimalistic leanings and feel my home is overcrowded enough as it is, and I'd be perfectly happy if people didn't buy me anything.

So here is what I have been doing to try to tame the insanity - and I'd love to know what you creative gals are doing also.

-Make gifts, make them early (like in the summer). I also try to make things that are consumable, like organic blueberry jam (we have a friend with a farm) and drying herbs for cooking and teas. I've made afghans and aprons, this year I have made soap and crocheted cotton washcloths. Every year people ask how I had time to do these things - I don't think it takes any more time than shopping does (except the afghans) and it's certainly more pleasant than fighting traffic.

-I may not bother with a tree this year (shocking - but we don't have kids and will not be home anyway) so I'll put up wreaths made at a friend's plant nursery and put the electric candles in our windows. Less clutter, still smells good in the house.

-Type up a fun newsletter about the year and send that in place of handwritten cards. I used to address them all in calligraphy - HA!!!

-Stick to simpler baked goods or (considering I'm usually the group "health nut thanks to being mostly vegan anyway) bring in the veggie dishes rather than cookies or cakes.

-For gift exchanges, I usually have made a scarf or two during the year.

-In answer to "what do you want for Christmas" or to hopefully avoid a bunch of things we don't want or need - we are asking for wine this year. I put together a list for the non-savvy - and who cares if we get two or even five of the same bottle???

[indysteel]

I've never been one to go nuts during the holidays, but things are a bit simpler this year in that we're not--my mutual agreement--exchanging gifts within my family. Many of the gifts that we are buying were purchased earlier in the year during out travels and almost all of them come from small businesses, so while I generally have a problem with the rampant consumerism of the holidays, I do feel good about what I'm giving this year for the most part. I am otherwise not a baker, so that's not an issue, but I am going to cut down on Christmas cards this year. We have already put up our tree, but that's one of the few things about the holiday that I really enjoy, so I don't mind it.

But I totally hear you on not wanting to get a bunch of stuff from people that I don't need and that just clutters up my house. My MIL irritated me over the weekend by complaining for the umpteenth time that I'm hard to buy for because I "don't collect anything." She always says it as we're standing in a shop looking at teapots or figurines of cats or something. I told her the same thing I always tell her: "I generally want less, not more, stuff, but you can always buy me one of the few things I do collect--books." But that answer doesn't satisfy her in that she's afraid she'll buy me the wrong book. "Well, you could just ask me for some suggestions," I offer. But that doesn't satisfy her either because "then it wouldn't be a surprise."

Ugh. I can't win. I'm hoping that we eventually get them to agree to forego Christmas gifts, too.

The other thing that REALLY stresses me out during the holidays is the number of non-family/non-friend get togethers to which I'm invited. There are multiple work and NFP board functions that I'm expected to attend. I had a meltdown about it a few years ago, and now just politely decline most of them. In theory, I'd like to socialize with some of these people outside of normal business, but cramming all that into a single month is just too much.

[Veronica]

Indy you could do a wish list of the books you want on Amazon. Your MIL wouldn't have to buy them there, but then she would know what you want.

Grey I WISH you'd decorate your house and then put up pictures because I bet it would look fabulous.

We do a calendar of our photos as a gift for family and a few friends. I do enjoy baking and since I've pretty much stopped eating baked goods most of the year, it gives me a chance to indulge. I usually make a variety of cookies and bars to give to a few friends at work.

There is always a bunch of stuff I want for my classroom and I can usually get my oldest sister, who refuses to stop giving me stuff, to buy something for my class.

Veronica

[indysteel]

Indy you could do a wish list of the books you want on Amazon. Your MIL wouldn't have to buy them there, but then she would know what you want.

Grey I WISH you'd decorate your house and then put up pictures because I bet it would look fabulous.

We do a calendar of our photos as a gift for family and a few friends. I do enjoy baking and since I've pretty much stopped eating baked goods most of the year, it gives me a chance to indulge. I usually make a variety of cookies and bars to give to a few friends at work.

There is always a bunch of stuff I want for my classroom and I can usually get my oldest sister, who refuses to stop giving me stuff, to buy something for my class.

Veronica

That's a good idea, V. I'll have to suggest that. Hopefully, it will pacify her, but I think there's more to this issue than just a wish list. I get the feeling that she was hoping for a DIL that gravitates toward "girly" or "homey" things. Other than the fact that I like to cook, that's just not me. I can see that it disappoints her at times.

[grey]

That's a good idea, V. I'll have to suggest that. Hopefully, it will pacify her, but I think there's more to this issue than just a wish list. I get the feeling that she was hoping for a DIL that gravitates toward "girly" or "homey" things. Other than the fact that I like to cook, that's just not me. I can see that it disappoints her at times.

Ask for a gift certificate (or give her a wish list) to SurlaTable? Every cook's dream stuff is in that place. You'd have to be specific though, I think. I told my MIL "Sur la Table" for my birthday, and she bought cutesy salt & pepper shakers I really won't use. I didn't realize they made silly things there.

[indysteel]

Another good suggestion, but she actually never asks me for what I want. Even when we discuss how hard I am to buy for (in her mind), she never actually says "what would you like for Christmas"? To her, the surprise is more important than fulfilling any want or need that I might have.

But I don't want this thread to devolve into a discussion of my MIL. Rather, I brought her up just as an example of how fixated some people are in giving, receiving or buying more stuff.