I found this article in yesterday's NY Times. It's primarily focused on how to help out a breast cancer patient, but a lot of this would apply to anyone having surgery, or coping with a long illness.

The comments (for a change) are especially thoughtful, and offer specific ideas for friends and family to help the patient - i.e., organizing meals/groceries to be delivered to the house on a regular schedule, etc.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/0...ancer-patient/