Does your significant other...

[rubysoho]

Share your passion in cycling or other outdoorsy activities? Would you say you both have the same energy level or are you on different ends of the spectrum?

Taking a ride with a guy friend this past weekend reminded me how much I love sharing my passions and having someone to play and have fun with. Something my boyfriend of four years and I don't do and I guess I have grown accustomed to it. He is more the type that after a week or work he wants to stay in and do nothing. I like to do that, sometimes, but a lot of times I want to be out hiking, cycling, fishing, etc...

I need to get out and find some women to ride with. But, sometimes I wish my SO enjoyed being outdoors as much as I do.

Anyway, what about everyone here?

[Becky]

Yup, it's how we met. 10 years later, we're still well-matched in terms of cycling pace. I tend to have a higher "do stuff" energy level, while he's more content to sit around and read or watch movies.

[limewave]

Yes, hiking and biking and being outdoors and active is something we have in common. However, we almost never ride or run together because 1) he is faster and likes to be faster and 2) someone has to watch the kids.

I enjoy a little solitude so I don't mind that he rides ahead, it's nice just being "out there" together and sharing the common interest.

However, something we don't have in common, I like going out with other people, little parties/gatherings, and playing card or board games. DH would rather sit in his chair and read a book.

We went camping this weekend and a group of DH's friends were also camping there. He didn't even go over and say hello or sit at their campfire! I did! And I barely know them, but I just like that atmosphere. DH is weird. I'm working on him and he is branching out a little bit.

I miss those things and wish that he would socialize with other couples/families more.

[indysteel]

My DH and I met through cycling, and he's about as active/outdoorsey as I am. Sometimes we go through phases where he's more energetic than I am and vice versa, but I'd say we're pretty balanced as a general rule. I tend to purposely "exercise" more than he does, but his job is more active than mine so it balances out. I'll be honest that this was a deal maker for me. I'm not particularly attracted to men who aren't active or who lack a love of the outdoors.

[rubysoho]

I'll be honest that this was a deal maker for me. I'm not particularly attracted to men who aren't active or who lack a love of the outdoors.

I was perusing a thread about pictures of people on this board and noticed quite a few who were pictured with their significant other. It made me sad because my boyfriend and I don't do much of anything together ... I know I have a great guy, he cooks, cleans, treats me with respect and loves me dearly. Is responsible, driven at work, definitely wants to take care of me. I am just way more lighthearted and playful (and active!) than he is and right now it is a bit draining for me. We've been together 4 years for a reason. I just need to remember that.

[roadie gal]

We have a lot of the same interests: biking, hiking, cross country skiing, but I'm definitely more into exercising than she is. When we have time off together we do stuff together, but I'm free to do my own thing when I'm off and she's not.

[tulip]

I was with my former SO for nearly 20 years before I came to the conclusion that we did nothing together and his realm and my realm rarely intercepted. Just my story. YMMV.

I met my current SO through cycling. We take cycling vacations together and look forward to going on bike rides together. We also spend alot of time gardening together and doing other things that we each AND both love to do.

[Miranda]

I was perusing a thread about pictures of people on this board and noticed quite a few who were pictured with their significant other. It made me sad because my boyfriend and I don't do much of anything together ... I know I have a great guy, he cooks, cleans, treats me with respect and loves me dearly. Is responsible, driven at work, definitely wants to take care of me. I am just way more lighthearted and playful (and active!) than he is and right now it is a bit draining for me. We've been together 4 years for a reason. I just need to remember that.

That's a bad feeling.

Sorry your heart is heavy this way.

Yep, I get it.

Have you told him you feel this way?

[PamNY]

This is definitely an issue in my life, and it's not just the SO -- it's the friends he prefers as well.

I've simply started to develop my own social life with people who are more outdoorsy/active. Luckily I like hiking, camping and biking by myself.

[soprano]

I think that it's good to have independent interests, hobbies, etc. To be really open and honest, when I hear someone say something like "I wouldn't date a girl who didn't ride with me" or "I couldn't date a Republican" I worry about that person. People change as they grow. What happens when your partner moves on to a new sport, hobby, religion, political party, etc? I'm not saying that a couple shouldn't have strong common interests. However, it's good to have a relationship with a broader foundation than that.

My husband and I are both what I would call generally active people. We like doing things like taking long walks or doing yardwork together. When we bought our house, we made sure to buy into a walkable neighborhood. We enjoy hiking and camping together, but long hours at work for both of us means that we don't get to hike or camp nearly enough. We've been married for 6 years now. About 18 months ago, he was seriously injured in a fall. He's made an amazing recovery. He was initially told that he would never be able to hike again, but we've been out 5 or 6 times now! I think that it is unrealistic to expect that he will ever go touring with me. I'm also getting into backpacking, probably another no-go for him. However, our relationship has never revolved around specific activities, and while we both hate it that he can't do this stuff with me, we deal with it and enjoy other things.

I'm leaving soon on a 6 week, solo tour, and I cannot believe how many people have come down on me for going alone, and on him for not going with me. He would love to go. Camping on a long-distance trip would be right up his alley. But he can't, because of his injury. And when I think about it, I become furious at the people who guilt him about not coming along - people who should know better (I'm looking at you, Mom).

I've simply started to develop my own social life with people who are more outdoorsy/active. Luckily I like hiking, camping and biking by myself.

Good for you! I've recently started going on some casual group rides just to make friends who share my interest in cycling. You can never have too many friends

[Blueberry]

My DH and I both ride - but we have very different speeds (and perhaps training ideas). We ride together some - and we ride alone. Rides with me are very often recovery rides for him (or we will shop and he will carry all the stuff home). He'll walk with me. For us, it's about finding quality time that we can spend together (even if it's cooking dinner). We both have a flaw of too much online time - working on that, but hard when you both depend on computers for a living.

He tries to be supportive of my solo interests - and I try to be of his.

[rubysoho]

I think that it's good to have independent interests, hobbies, etc. To be really open and honest, when I hear someone say something like "I wouldn't date a girl who didn't ride with me" or "I couldn't date a Republican" I worry about that person.

I definitely agree with this. It is good to have differences. And I definitely support my BF's interests that don't include me. It is great for him to go out with the guys or for him to cook, etc...

[azfiddle]

My DH told me about his days as a ski-instructor before we met, but was not too athletic for a long time. I was slightly more active as a field biologist and birder- but not really athletic at all.

Sometime after he recovered from cancer, he began to to talk about bike commuting to work. Much to my surprise, he stuck with it. Then he began to have a goal- to complete a 50 mile run by his 50th birthday. He again surprised me by following a rigorous training program, running a half-marathon in 6 weeks and a full marathon 5 months after starting. Oh yeah, and he's done a 50+ mile run for his birthday for the last 6 years, plus more marathons and 50 milers as well.

I didn't catch on for a long time- but 2 years ago decided I had to do something to lose weight, and got back on a bike.

He is much stronger than I am but is willing to slow down for me if we ride together (I just can't run!) It has rekindled our relationship in many ways to share this time together- I hope we don't decrepitate too soon and lose our ability to enjoy this as we cruise through on through our 50's and beyond.

[Marquise]

My husband was a cyclist long before I became one and he's been a great help in everything I accomplished so far. I might have taken up cycling on my own but I'm sure his being a cyclist increased the odds of my doing so. We usually ride together at least once a week but otherwise ride separately, which suits both of us. He feels more free to spend more time cycling and indulge in cycling-related purchases now that I'm into it, too. Aside from cycling, we share many of the same interests and spend most of our free time together, but we also do our own things now and then.

[Owlie]

DBF is quite supportive of my other hobbies (knitting and cooking). It helps that he is quite often the beneficiary.

I'm okay with him going to play D&D with "the guys" (it meant I got the place to myself for a while!) I don't mind him playing video games (because I do too!), but he tends to get sucked in...