Can't insert tampon

[Melalvai]

My daughter (15 yrs) has had her period for about a year and a half, which happened to coincide when she wasn't on swim team. Recently she joined again, and she did the swim part of the triathlon with us today. Last night was a crisis because her period started and she has never successfully used a tampon.

She had tried early on and gave up. She had tried with an entire box of the smallest size. A friend advised us to try Tampax Pearl as having the easiest applicators so I got the smallest of those--still no luck. She was sobbing because she'd have to miss the triathlon. Since it was in a lake, I told her to put a pad in her swimsuit until right before the start, then take it out for the swim. That worked this time but it won't work for swim meets!

Last month her solution was to skip a week of swim practice, and she's been worrying about it ever since. I wish I'd been less oblivious and realized the problem sooner.

She doesn't think the problem is an overgrown hymen because she did manage to get one tampon in once (but not sufficiently far in, I think, it hurt and she took it out). I'm going to take her to a doctor to make sure everything is ok.

Any thoughts or suggestions? She's interested in the DivaCup, which I've heard great things about, and besides with that we'd know how much which is an issue (I think she, like me, has unusually heavy periods, but I've never been able to prove it). But if she can't insert a tampon I don't see how she'd be able to insert the DivaCup.

[Grits]

Maybe some lubricant on the applicator? If it is not a physical thing ( I would make a MD appt to check things out if this isn't resolved soon), then it could be a mental block, tensing up because she is afraid it is going to hurt thus creating a vicious cycle. Maybe doing something different - like adding a lubricant- could help.

[KnottedYet]

Sometimes a retroverted uterus can make tampons a misery to use.

There's nothing wrong with a retroverted uterus, but it can cause problems with things like tampons, diaphragms, and Diva cups.

Of course, the doc can't tell in the office without doing a pelvic exam, which would be cruel at this point. Maybe an ultrasound?

[malkin]

A kind and understanding doc or NP can help her figure out what's going on and how to deal with it comfortably.

[Melalvai]

They're all DO's around here, that's like halfway between MD and ND right? LOL
Sounds like doctor's visit is the next step, she did try lubricant. Could be she's just tensing up too much, the right doc could set her mind at ease. The wrong doc could set her back so I will make sure we get a right one!

[malkin]

However you feel about other services they provide, Planned Parenthood has the information your daughter needs, and they deal routinely with girls her age.

[sjane]

Sometimes a retroverted uterus can make tampons a misery to use.

There's nothing wrong with a retroverted uterus, but it can cause problems with things like tampons, diaphragms, and Diva cups.

That's the first thing I thought of too. Has she tried angling it different ways? I think they say to aim it towards your back, but I have to angle tampons or the DC towards the front.

[pumpkinpony]

Perhaps have her try OB. I've found that regular Tampax type tampons are too long for me and very uncomfortable. OB works great. Easier to position too, since they are smaller. They have a Silk Ease version too, which would be good if you could find it.

OB has a free sample here.

[PamNY]

Melalvai, you sound like such a great mother, supporting and educating your daughter. Maturation and comfort with one's body is such an individual and sometimes difficult process.

To this day, I remember the adult who derided me for being shy about changing clothes in a group setting. Trust me, being ridiculed did not make me any more comfortable.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

[Susan]

I think I just wouldn't put too much pressure on her. There doesn't need to be something wrong with her because she can't use tampons now. I myself couldn't use tampons until I was about 16 and I remember being really frustrated about it. I had 4 close friends at school that time and 2 of them had the same problem. (None of us dared to ask our mothers or doctors about this problem.)
There isn't something anatomically wrong down there with anyone of them or me. I had no problems having sexual intercourse or a pelvic exam later (my doctor refused to do this until after I had s.i.).

I think it's a combination of some factors - being very narrow because being so young may be a part of it. But I think it has more to do with being unexperienced with your own body. Sorry for being explicit but I remember that I myself wasn't really sure if I REALLY had to stick this thing into my body and if yes, where exactly? A lot of inexperienced women also have the impression, that the right direction to "push" is upwards into the body when in reality it's more backwards, almost horizontal.
Maybe she should just experiment a bit more without setting herself under pressure.

While I think the diva cup or moon cup is a very good substitute for tampons especially while swimming or doing sports, I don't think it would be easy to use it without any further experience with her body. It can be a bit hard to insert it because you have to fold it and hold it in this position then rotate a little bit inside. I think it requires some knowledge of the own anatomy.

I sat out for swimming for some years and discovered the moon cup when I was older than 20 yrs. While I am very happy that I have this possibility now, and sitting out wasn't fun, I think I just needed the time to get to know my body enough.

[sundial]

Melalvai, can you make an appt with a female OB/GYN doctor? That may make it far less intimidating for your daughter on her first visit. Hoping the issue is resolved soon for her, bless her heart.

[pinkychique]

+1 on the female OB/GYN.

I've only been to women docs in that area, and I'm still weird even thinking about going to a male doc. Probably not as big of a deal as it feels like, but I'm not comfortable with a man looking *down there* so to a 15 year old, that would be completely traumatic.

[sarahspins]

I've only been to women docs in that area, and I'm still weird even thinking about going to a male doc. Probably not as big of a deal as it feels like, but I'm not comfortable with a man looking *down there* so to a 15 year old, that would be completely traumatic.

I agree.. I only saw female NP's or midwives until I was 20... I'm not sure I would have been able to handle having a male doctor examine me down there at 15.. or even 17 or 18.. or heck, any point up until I was pregnant with my first baby (the first male doc to examine me was my midwife's backup OB, and I didn't really have much choice because I had just "risked out" of my midwife's care). Now it doesn't bother me to have a male doctor.. but I say that after having 3 kids, and anyone who's given birth in a hospital knows that modesty pretty much goes out the window with that experience, and you get over any inhibitions about "who" is looking "there" - so long as they're not rude or do anything to make it uncomfortable (physically or otherwise).

Anyways, I used tampons (and later Instead soft cups) from a really early age, but I never had problems doing so. I hated pads so much (they always gave me a rash even if I was neurotic about changing them) and so tampons were a welcome alternative - but I had to hide it from my mom since she didn't think that tampons were "appropriate" to use before you'd had sex She based that entirely on her own inability to use them, and in fact even scared my sister so badly about using them that she never even tried until she was something like 28 (I am not kidding) which was several years AFTER she'd already been using a Diva Cup.

You can definitely make an "information only" appointment with planned parenthood or a midwife or even a female pediatrician, that would not be intimidating for your daughter. There's really no reason to need a pelvic exam unless your daughter wants one to make sure everything is okay. They do use smaller speculums on children and young women who haven't had sex yet, so that shouldn't be a concern.

BTW, I don't personally find using a cup any more difficult than tampons.. as far as "ease of insertion" the Instead softcups win hands down (you just pinch them flat and push in, just like a tampon), I always have trouble getting the Diva cup folded right and getting it in place when it's in... and I have problems with it slipping "up" too high and leaking... so I am not a huge fan of the Diva cup personally.. because it just doesn't seem to fit me very well, but Instead works great for me. If she's *interested* in trying a cup, I'd encourage it - if nothing else she'd get more familiar with her own anatomy. I highly recommend using lube when learning to insert/remove any menstrual cup... it makes it much more comfortable. Removing them is usually more difficult than inserting when you're learning.

You can try instead really inexpensively.. http://store.softcup.com/shared/Stor...S=softcup&All= Walgreen's also usually has them in stock (at least they do here). I usually only use one cup per cycle.. I just wash and reuse like you would the Diva or Mooncup so a box lasts me a really long time.