Friendships that you don't drop but wonder

[shootingstar]

It's not a problem with this long-time friend since my late teens. There are times though, I wonder what binds us together at this stage in life.

She lives in a different province. Unfortunately she doesn't write much. I just think she's like that. She and I do chat up about once a year by phone or meet for a few hrs. Our lives have diverged, though both of us are same age.

Over the years I have expressed gently a desire to talk abit more deeply. But she doesn't seem know how to articulate what she is feeling, etc. Or maybe doesn't want to. That's ok with me. She's not the only loved one in my life who has a harder time articulating complex/deep feelings.

Part of our friendship goes way back...when she lost her sister who was 1 yr. older than both of us. She died at age 19, from accidental drowning while vacationing in Mexico. So I knew her sister, her family, etc.

Have a friendship like that..where there's not alot of frequent/deep talking but genuine mutual loyalty, warmth and unspoken caring? Somehow there's no good reason for me to drop her out of my life.

[Crankin]

If you can take it for what it is, and it doesn't bother you, then keep up the contact the way it is. You have recognized her "faults" and deal with them.
For example, I have a friend I met about a year after I moved here (19 years ago). We became close, went out as couples, my kids babysat her kid. We did holidays together, with other friends, too.
As the years have gone by, what were just quirks in her personality are now outright mental health issues. It is too long to go into. But, other people have asked me if there is "something wrong" with her. I can barely stand being around her. She thinks she is my "best friend," although I hardly talk to her. I have cut down the contact as much as I can, without dropping the friendship entirely. I am trying to get up the courage to talk to her about her issues, but it almost doesn't seem worth it, as she will just get angry at me.
You recognize the bond you have with your friend, so it may be easier to just keep things the way they are.

[roadie gal]

I have a friend from college, that's 35 years ago, that I love dearly, but rarely speak to anymore. It's not that we don't like each other. It's just that we both have very busy, different lives and we live 3000 miles apart.

When we do get together though it's like no time has passed. I would do anything for her and I know she would for me. It's nice just knowing she's there even if we're not in touch that often.

[Grog]

Good friends are like stars, you don't always see them, but you know they're always there.

[badger]

I have two very dear friends that I hardly ever speak to or even write to, but there's just something so profound that it's not even necessary to keep in that close a touch.

Every once in a while there would be an email, but one of them I haven't seen in about 3 years and haven't spoken in about 2. She actually lives a short distance away but we never see each other.

Another one lives in England and when we first met in 1988, we hit it off like house on fire. We lost touch for about 10 years but have now been back in touch. We see each other on average every 2 years and speak almost as infrequently.

I honestly can't describe what we have, but both of these girls mean so much to me, and I know the feeling is mutual.

[Crankin]

I guess I described a "good friend gone bad" in my previous post. But, I do have friends in AZ that I am the same way with, as in I can go years without seeing them, go and visit, and it's like I never left. I used to email one quite frequently; now I see what she's doing on Facebook and email once in awhile. She's living a bit of a different life now, divorced her husband after 25 years, remarried the first guy she dated, and then divorced again.
But, I know if I needed her she (and a few others) would be there in a minute. These are my friends from my play group, which I joined in 1984. Except for the friends I had in middle school, I will never have friendships like those.