Would you hold a wedding shower for yourself?

[PamNY]

A friend has been telling me about someone she works with. This person plans to marry, and she's giving her own shower. Purported reason is that the bridesmaids are fighting with each other, so it has to be this way.

My friend is appalled and considers it a generational difference motivated by greed (we're in our fifties, and the bride is 27). I'm not sure what to think. I've never heard of such a thing, but I'm not sure that greed is a new phenomenon, either.

This doesn't matter to me at all; I've never met the bride. I'm just curious about what others think. It's a second marriage, by the way; the bride's first husband died a few years ago.

Pam

[uforgot]

I think it's tacky. You are asking your friends and family for gifts. Actually, I don't even like it when family gives showers, unless it's a family shower. What you are saying is " We want you to buy a gift for our sister/mother/brother..." you get the picture. I'll put this right up there with invitations that say "Cash gifts only".

I decided to google this:

This is from allaboutshowers.com

Can a family member throw a bridal shower?
A: No, that would seem self-serving. A friend or distant relative may throw a bridal shower. Normally, the bridesmaids throw one shower, but it is not mandatory.

No question about throwing one for yourself being self-serving.

[Tuckervill]

Probably because no one's ever done it, til now!

No stinkin' way would I attend that shower, and if I were close enough to the "bride" to feel guilty that I didn't go, I'd be close enough to her to tell her how tacky it is.

Karen

[ny biker]

Ask Miss Manners and she'll tell you that this is wrong. The hostess of the shower should be a friend. It is even wrong for the hostess to be a family member.

And if it's a second wedding, then there is no need for a shower because the bride is not leaving her parents' home and establishing her own household for the first time.

[Fujichants]

Silly question, is there a difference between a wedding shower and a bridal shower?

My friend is hosting her own bridal shower. I'm one of the bridesmaids, but before we could plan anything, she told us she already planned it.

She even has two registries for her bridal shower...at Williams Sonoma and Tiffany's. The cheapest thing on there is $200. What on earth? Is it normal to have a registry for a bridal shower?

I'm not looking forward to it at all.

[Flybye]

I don't really care what Miss Manners has to say - who left her in charge anyhow?
I think that the bride deserves a celebration even if it is her 10th wedding. I think that gifts can be tailored to brides who already have an established home. I think that I would like nothing more than to be invited to a friend's home and celebrate a new chapter with her - what a privilege - and to me it doesn't matter WHO is hosting the party. I say good for her; her friends are being catty and fighting, so she makes lemonaid out of lemons.
Now, as for gift registries and expensive gifts - that might flavor my opinion in a different direction. I guess even if the bride wanted expensive gifts and/or was a greedy individual, I would still celebrate with her - but by bringing a gift that is dictated by MY budget and not HER tastes.
Bottom line is that the party isn't for me. Who cares what I think about who started the party. Who cares if the bride is greedy? The party isn't for me so I don't get a say! I go, I have fun, and I hope for a blessed marriage. (And I wouldn't hesitate to put my address on an envelope to make the thank-you process easier for the bride either - but that would be another subject for another thread.)

[maillotpois]

She even has two registries for her bridal shower...at Williams Sonoma and Tiffany's. The cheapest thing on there is $200. What on earth? Is it normal to have a registry for a bridal shower?

That is incredibly tacky!!! As if everyone has an extra $200 for a bridal shower gift - especially in this economy. Sheesh!