Sororities-past & now

[shootingstar]

Ever belonged to a sorority when you were in college or university? If you did, what was the experience like for you?

I never did..I went to 2 major different Canadian universities each in a different city. I think there was a sorority but ..seems like sororities were dying out where I was at that time: late 1970's and early 1980's.

Maybe I'm wrong but I get the powerful impression, sorority thing was more big and widespread at an earlier point in history in the U.S. It never got big here.

And I don't think I could have been sorority material anyway. I was such a hermit.

[tulip]

I went to a big southern (US) university and sororities were definitely in full force. That was mid- late-80s. Although the statistics said that only 20% of the student body were members of sororities and fraternities, it seemed like much, much more at the time.

I did not join one despite having a multi-generational legacy claim to Chi Omega. I was a bit of a rebel and thought that joining a sorority was conforming or something. I dunno, it might have been a good experience in some ways. I kindof got lost in such a big university, with no subset of people to belong to. I have no friends from my university days, for what it's worth (I had friends then, but we've all lost touch). I have friends still from high school and grad school, but not from undergrad. Strange.

I did finally join a co-ed artsy/literary fraternity, but that was an entirely different experience.

[DebW]

I was a member of a fraternity in college in the 70s. It was a coed frat, about 1/3 women and 2/3 men. We lived in a big old house about 2 miles from campus. We had a hired cook and revolving chores. Roommates were swapped every semester, but we all slept in one big room on the 3rd floor of the house with the windows open all year long (actually, there was a partition between the men's and women's sides). Periodically we opened the basement bike shop (we had 2-3 mechanics). This was MIT, so we mostly studied hard, acted nerdy together, and enjoyed our college years. It wasn't a random mix of people, but people who selected each other, so more like a family by choice. I don't think I could have lived in an all-women's house, and there weren't enough women at MIT for that anyway. In fact, the ratios were so skewed that if more than 2 women ever found themselves in a room without men, we freaked out and drug a man into the room.

[Possegal]

I was in a sorority. Northeastern college in the 80s. No house, sororities didn't have houses. I loved it. I didn't pledge until a couple years in, so I already had a great group of friends, then I had another group. Glad I did it and glad I did it when I did. My senior year I did live off campus with 7 other sisters. There were a lot of rental houses like that, with 6 or more sisters in each house. We then had sorority rooms in the basement of one set of dorms where we held meetings and such.

[Mr. Bloom]

At Alabama, I was in a Fraternity, Silver was in a Sorority. I was the "Theta Throb" one year for her sorority. All the Greek organizations were big and had huge houses, socially entwined in southern culture, and represented about 25% of the student population. This was the early to mid 80's. The fraternities were roudy and the sororities were very traditional.

What struck me as odd was the number of families that made HUGE financial sacrifices for their daughters to be in sororities...sacrifices they couldn't afford - presumeably to facilitate better career opportunities or better marriage chances.

SilverDaughter will be staying at one of her cousins sorority houses this week on a visit to Tuscaloosa. We are neither encouraging or discouraging her...has to be her choice

[shootingstar]

Co-ed fraternity..who knew..

Tulip, I also had no close friendships in my undergrad. but did from grad school..thank goodness and such few friendships still exist and are valuable.

Doubtful that a sorority would have been the best answer for friendships for me. In a perverse way, I seem to thrive best slightly closer to the margins.

I guess I have no idea about this 'pledge' thing..sounds like a rite of sorts.

Not on sororities nor fraternities, but in the same vein of traditions: the 2nd university I went to, actually had a decent cheerleading squad and accompanying band of sorts. It was and still is very big on homecoming weekend in the fall. I found that bewildering. See below.

Totally opposite from lst university which had international reputation for its co-op work programs in engineering, maths and applied sciences which probably contributed to low student spectator cheering support for its sports teams. Most definitely the place didn't fit nor feel like the tradition bound older universities. Don't know about now, but probably hasn't changed alot with students hell-bent on scientific innovation and setting up high tech incubators locally.

Just thoughts....when someone made the joke elsewhere on forum unrelated, on feeling like the rush of joining a sorority. It struck me, that I wasn't totally sure what that felt like.

Maybe it's like being part of ...here.

[SheFly]

ShootingStar - I think I went to your 1st university, albeit late 80s, early 90s. I was a co-op student, but in the Arts - not typical for that particular university . When I was there, no fraternities or sororities. I think a sorority chapter started in my 3rd or 4th year, but I wasn't interested.

And while I was there, despite the math, engineering and science focus, there was still a lot of school pride and attendance at some events - mostly basketball for some reason.

SheFly

[sfa]

I went to a Catholic women's college, so depending on how you look at it there either were no sororities at all or the whole place was one big sorority!

At the time I was pretty anti-sorority/fraternity anyway. That whole scene seemed to be part of a much older and more socially constrained time. But thinking about it now, I don't know why I was so opposed to them. I can see that it would be a good way to find your niche in a large university.

Sarah

[Crankin]

I started college here in Boston, ironically at the same school I am attending now for my second master's. Greek life in Boston in 1971? You would have been laughed out of town. We were more interested in other pursuits... .

Then I went back to FL, where I attended commuter schools, so other than the the interest type clubs I belonged to, no sororities. However, they were big at Gainesville and Tallahassee, where many of my friends went.
Then I transferred to ASU. It seemed back to the fifties to me. Lots of "Iowa girls" (no offense to anyone from Iowa, but that's what the in state students called them) in sororities who thought Tempe was the big city. I was only interested in getting my degree and getting a job.

There seems to be a regional difference here. I briefly belonged to a Jewish sorority in HS, here in MA. I had to endure a pledge night where I had to get dressed up as a football player and do all sorts of weird things in the middle of Kenmore Square, in a crowd of BU students when I was 15. I quit shortly thereafter. I did join B'nai Brith Girls in Florida, when I moved. It is really a youth group, but in the south, it was more like a sorority. We had an annual formal (I posted the picture in the what you looked like thread), but we did a lot of charity work, too. I never would have joined this if I had not moved in the middle of high school, which was extremely traumatic for me. I made some friends, was even the president for part of my senior year.
I would have liked being in the coed fraternity Deb was in.

[Triskeliongirl]

It is interesting for me to watch my kids go through this. What I have concluded is that sororities/fraternities play a much larger role at large schools than small schools.

My college (Brandeis, a medium sized liberal northeast school) had no fraternities/sororities/football team, etc. The rebel in me liked that. I got a job in a research lab as freshmen, so for me my family/social group were my fellow labmates.

My son attends a large northeast school (MIT). His experience is similar to Deb's. The school is so large, fraternities provide smaller communities within this massive intensive place. They give them a sense of family, a house to live in with a cook that makes them family style meals that they eat as a group, etc. While his fraternity is not co-ed, there is no shortage of women friends that the brothers interact with socially. My son's brothers are his friends, and I imagine they will stay friends for a very long time. As Deb said MIT is a very intense place academically, and the brothers help each other with their work. My son said he learns best by teaching, so really enjoys tutoring his classmates. So, while of course the fraternity has a social aspect to it, to me it appears to have more of a community/family/study group atmosphere.

My daugher attends a small northeaset women's liberal arts college (Wellesley). I don't think they have sororities, although they do have some sort of groups that are similar. My daughter doesn't belong to one of these, but did get involved early on in a cooperative that runs a campus cafe, and the friends she made through that became her social group. The dorms are more house like than at a school like at MIT. Each dorm has a living room, dining room, kitchens, etc. and it feels more like a frat house than a dorm, perhaps another reason sorotities aren't necessary there.

[Crankin]

Trisk, I didn't know you went to Brandeis. I just ate lunch there Wednesday..

Nice climb to the Faculty Club dining room!

[uforgot]

I had to endure a pledge night where I had to get dressed up as a football player and do all sorts of weird things in the middle of Kenmore Square, in a crowd of BU students when I was 15.

I went to college in the 70's. As a freshman I was invited to a gathering for information on joining "social" sororities. When I heard about the ridiculous pledging things you had to do I said no thank you. Not that I care if others want to do it, standing on a chair reciting the greek alphabet on the whim of others, whose only credentials are simply being a year or two older, just isn't something I would do.

[Biciclista]

I went to college in the 70's. As a freshman I was invited to a gathering for information on joining "social" sororities. When I heard about the ridiculous pledging things you had to do I said no thank you. Not that I care if others want to do it, standing on a chair reciting the greek alphabet on the whim of others, whose only credentials are simply being a year or two older, just isn't something I would do.

me too, not to mention how prominent alcohol consumption was in all of their events. I never gave either of my sons a push in either direction and was pleased when neither of them showed any interest in frats either.

[Aggie_Ama]

Sororities are gaining popularity at Texas A&M but still not the norm. I could hardly afford college so I definitely could not afford the average $2,500/year for sorority life. I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it myself.

I did not have any friends that were sorority gals or fraternity boys but I didn't oppose the groups, just never really befriended them. My husband and his friends jokingly call us a co-ed fraternity, we even have code intials. Mainly we all suffered through working together sometime at Lowe's and that was our "brotherhood". Everyone in the "frat" has lived with one or more person at sometime.

[Triskeliongirl]

Intersting you say sorority life is expensive. My son finds living in a fratnernity house cheaper than living in a dorm, since the fraternity owns their house, and food prepared by their cook is cheaper than a meal plan. As Mr. Silver stated, I see a lot of positive things coming from his experience. He is being mentored by alumni of his fraternity in the business world. For example, he got a job as a microsoft student partner through this mechanism. Same thing with access to internships, career counseling, etc. I know, I had no clue either about any of this since it wasn't part of my experience.

Its true that you can argue that membership is 'exclusive' but my observation of that process is that its simply about kids finding a good fit with a group of friends, so its not exclusive in a discriminatory way. In fact, my son's frat is the most racially diverse of all frats on campus, and I believe has the second highest GPA for whatever that is worth. I was so impressed when I met his brothers. It was also interesting for me to watch how they did an intervention on a brother who was partying too much and having academic problems. They definitely got him onto the straight and narrow. In fact, my son's first dorm assignment was in a dorm with a huge drug problem (yeh, the air in his suite was thick with pot smoke, even on parent's weekend), and the frat house was a safe haven in which he could work and get away from all that until we were able to get his dor transfer processed. Even though freshmen weren't allowed to live in frat houses, they gave him a bed and desk (free of charge) until he get his housing assignment sorted out with the housing office.

Yes, my son has organized some huge parties, but I view this as a terrific learning experience. He emphasizes how critical it is to be sober in order to put on one of these parties, the fun is not getting drunk, its managing to organize a large event and have it go off without a snag. Leadership training is huge. At MIT kegs aren't allowed, and party plans must be submitted to a council for approval. Its all very strictly regulated.