Question about cycling with friends

[Violara]

I have a question for the more experienced cyclists here: is it customary when riding with friends to keep pace with them, or to each ride at your own pace and meet up at again at the end?

[ilima]

I have a question for the more experienced cyclists here: is it customary when riding with friends to keep pace with them, or to each ride at your own pace and meet up at again at the end?

Usually you pretty much keep pace with each other. If you're doing a ride where you're throwing in some sprints or hills, you may split up while you're doing them and then meet up at convenient places.

If you're new you're friends should periodically ask you how you're doing. Also, they should help you learn to draft as it saves a ton of energy.

[Mr. Bloom]

It depends on the group and the objectives of the ride - fun vs. training.

I think it would be rude to drop a group if the understanding or expectation was that you would stay together. This tends to be a social group.

On the otherhand, Silver and I ride with some serious competitors...and I'd feel like I was holding them back if they stayed with me. Our socialization comes at the beginning and end, but the ride is for training.

It's great when you find a group that matches your skill level...then there's no question.

[RoadRaven]

You should have agreed before hand what was going to happen, but if I were riding with friends I would expect that we kept pace with the slowest member - whether that was me or someone else.

When uneven terrain comes into it, I would expect that those who climb faster wait just over the crest of each hill for the slower climbers to get there/catch their breath.

On flat terrain, I would expect the faster members of the group explain about drafting to the slower/newer ones so that the new-comers can just "sit in" and maximum pleasure can be gained all round.

My 2cents... (though we don't have 2 cent pieces anymore... I guess that should be "my 5 cents"...)

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I think it needs to be agreed on between the friends beforehand.

In my own view, if it's not a club ride, but rather riding with friends....well either you are riding with people or not riding with them, and then what's the point? Then you might as well be riding by yourself. Just my opinion.

[indysteel]

RR's expectations mirror my own. If I meet a group of friends for a ride, we stick together unless we explicitly agree otherwise. If I attend a club ride with these same friends, we won't necessarily stay together, although we may regroup at the rest stops.

[Mr. Bloom]

RR's expectations mirror my own

Good Indy! I'm glad that vindicates me for you and I dropping Silver at the Horsey 100 last year! "She said we could and encouraged us into the ride of our lives"

[ilima]

Yep. Some rides are designed to drop the weak. My sister used to ride with a bunch of hard-core roadies once a week. I remember her calling me in triumph when she said she'd managed to do the ride without getting dropped.

Some club rides are advertised as no-drop. So one of the group leaders will always wait for the slower folks.

[Violara]

Thanks for the input. My husband and I have another couple that we occasionally road cycle with, and I'm definitely the weakest member. It's gotten so that I actually quit riding, but now I think maybe I should ride alone. It just feels so awful to always be the last one to finish, and I ride harder than is comfortable in a vain attempt to keep up, so I end up sobbing on every ride--just really not too fun!

I had this feeling that this was not right--after the last time I said to my DH that I didn't understand why they'd invited themselves on our ride if they were going to take off at the first hill and we wouldn't see them again until 35 miles later. It's not fun for my DH either, since he feels like he needs to stick (somewhat) with me. He ends up trying to correct me (suggesting that I need to change gears, regulate my breathing better) which just gets me more upset.

When we've gone group rides, it's different, I wouldn't expect them to ride with me then, as I realize they've done training to do well. But if it's just the 4 of us, I think we should stick together, otherwise, as BleekerSt said, what is the point of riding with friends? Also, I don't want to be patronized, but I would appreciate the encouragement of not getting dropped every time.

[OakLeaf]

Yikes Violara, I'm with you 100%.

I'm often the weak link when I ride with my friends in the hill country, but if it's a "ride with friends" then we stick together. There've even been a couple of times (days when I was feeling extra sore for whatever reason) that I've told them to go on ahead, I knew my way back, and they refused.

Or, there's one other couple that I ride with, I'm pretty well matched with the husband but on any given day one of us could be feeling much stronger than the other; and the wife is not nearly as strong; but again we stick together. Whoever's feeling strong might go as far as two or three hills ahead, but if it gets over a half a mile or so, we wait.

[RoadRaven]

It's gotten so that I actually quit riding, but now I think maybe I should ride alone.

...It's not fun for my DH either, since he feels like he needs to stick (somewhat) with me. He ends up trying to correct me (suggesting that I need to change gears, regulate my breathing better) which just gets me more upset.

Hey there Voilara... I so understand. This was/is me when I go for rides with my partner and sons... so I do alot of my training/riding on my own now. When I do go with my partner and/or sons, we choose a day when they are doing a recovery/slower ride, and then I tuck in behind them and just keep pace. I end up with a great workout, I ride a few kms above what I can on my own, and they end up with a low intensity ride which they were wanting. Perhaps you can come to this type of arrangemnet with your DH?

And as for your DH giving advice... that was hard for me to, but mainly because I like to get things right and I hated knowing I was not. However, once over that mental block, I have found most my biggest improvements in technique and effort ahve come from his guidance. He has ridden lots (last year his talley was over 23,000kms) so he does know what he's talking about. But with his advice has always come encouragement and praise. And thats important too...

Maybe you should get him to read this thread so he has a good understanding of how you are finding it... and there might be some ideas here that are useful to him as he continues to support you.

Please don't give up. Persevere, and you will find a way of riding which suits you, and you and him.