first longer ride-mixed feelings

[trinena]

I went for my first ride on my "new" giant tcr2 w/ my DH for about 22 miles. The longest ride I've done yet and this bike is twitchier than my last. What's hard is how utterly scared I am of crossing intersections interspersed on the path/trail. On the path we came across police activity with someone shackled to the ground.

All in All I was enjoying myself - looking at the birds and waterfront-but I could see my honey was a little frustrated about how slow we were going. Sometimes it was 11mph. I did get up to 17mph. Also I'd slow down to go through the poles that keep cars from the trail. At home he asked me what my expectations were when he realized I was annoyed with him: geez it's to get used to this bike, get used to riding, enjoy myself, and to get a workout. He's been so supportive with my rocky& slow road to bike riding but I may have to find other people to ride with me who wouldn't mind "babysitting" a little. I'm not up to the "lite" ride of a local bike club yet (29 miles this Sat.) Maybe I'll just start asking different people (patient women) to go out with me and help me out. I feel like such a chicken that I don't want to go out on my own. I have great admiration for the commuters here.

I'm signed up for a classroom and on the road workshop with the Eastbay Bike Coalition so that should help.

On another note I did have a lot of pain in my right neck/shoulder probably from my crash on the trail 2 weeks ago and numbness in my right foot -probably need new shoes. But I did like the feel of my bike. She's so pretty-no hot- too!

Thanks for listening!

[alpinerabbit]

Give yourself some time, and have the DH give you some time too!

I cried on my first ride, from fear, and walked going around a busy 3-lane roundabout construction.

Took me a little while to lose those fears.

[PamNY]

Congrats on your ride. Hey, my first longish ride was 22 miles. Must be a magic number.

I was on a rail trail, and I hopped off and walked my bike to cross streets. And if I feel like it, I will do the same thing next time I go. As I return to biking, I am doing exactly what I feel comfortable and safe with.

I hope you can find some patient folks to ride with. That's one of my goals, too.

Pam

[indysteel]

I'll echo what Alpinerabbit said. On my first ride, I did an endo over the handlebars because I freaked out about something. Luckily, I didn't get hurt, but I was so embarrassed.

I remember having to pysche myself up for every ride from my house to the MUT that I frequented when I first started riding. I really didn't have anybody at the time to ride with and I didn't know where else to go, so I'd ride from my house in downtown Indianapolis to the MUT, just before the thick of rush hour. While stopped at intersections, I'd start shaking like a leaf. I hated it but didn't know what else to do.

What saved me is that I finally found a 25-mile route along mostly country roads that made me feel much safer. Granted, I had to drive a fair distance to get there, but it was worth it in that it helped me get over my fears in a kinder and gentler environment. I did that ride repeatedly until I felt confident enough to join the local club. From there, everything just fell into place. Perhaps you and your BF or another friend can find a similar route where you live.

Good luck and be patient with yourself. It does get easier, I promise.

[alpinerabbit]

I think I took 3 months to go out on my first solo ride.

my second ride I told DBF I wanted to turn around after abotu 10K - from fear, not exhaustion.

And the thread I wrote about it has sadly dissappeared. I had commuted for years before but on an old MTB. The roadie was too small and twitchy for me too.



Keep at it and let you and those around you give yourself some slack.

now, for all the warm fuzzies I've given out, please click "dragon baby":

[xeney]

After about six years, my husband and I still get frustrated with each other on rides. And I ride better -- more confidently, even faster overall -- when I ride alone. So I recommend you try that.

One way to do that without heading out completely on your own is to set destinations rather than riding together the whole time. My husband and I have landmarks we use: "Meet at the red bench," for instance. Then he might ride on ahead another 20 miles and double back to the red bench, and I just ride to the red bench. We both get better rides that way.

Or like yesterday's ride: I took the car out to a park along our bike trail, and I pulled my daughter in the trailer for an easy (ha, "easy" with 30 mph wind gusts) 13-mile ride, while he rode from home. We passed each other on the trail and traded some text messages, and all got together for a picnic at lunch time. Then I drove home with my bike and the trailer, and he rode home. He got about 50 miles and we each got to ride at our own pace, but if I had gotten into some kind of trouble (with a baby along, even a flat tire is a big pain in the neck) we just would have had to wait for him to get to us.

(We trade off on pulling the trailer, in case I make it sound like he gets all the fun and I do all the towing. He does most of the towing, but she can't take 50 miles yet.)

[trinena]

Thanks alpinerabbit, pamny, indysteel & xeney for the encouragement & good suggestions about riding on my own/riding on a trail/having dif. meetup places. And yes I do have to be more patient with myself. thanks for the promise that it will get better! It helps to know that every strong rider had to begin somewhere and work through/with fears.

[alpinerabbit]

so have you clicked my dragon?????

[jobob]

It helps to know that every strong rider had to begin somewhere and work through/with fears.

Absolutely!

The year I started riding I was so frustrated that I couldn't keep up with my husband. I broke down in tears on one ride, I was so mad I couldn't manage to keep up.

But over time I got better, and so shall you.

It's great that you're taking the EBBC road skills course.

Which bike club are you riding with?

[RoadRaven]

TRINENA!!!

Awesome bike to have!

I have a Giant TCR2... I loved her the moment I first rode her - everything just "fitted. We have, over the last 18months, turned her into a time trial specific bike - bladed seatpost, aerobars, barend shifters, rotorcranks... and I still do not want to upgrade... she does everything required...

What a great first ride - a decent distance, and "interesting" events along the way (I have not yet met a police shackled person on any of my travels!!!)

It has taken me a long time to stop myself apologising to my husband when I ride slower than him (always - except coasting downhill, as I have more critical mass with my extra 15kgs, I coast waaaaay faster than him )

However, he chooses to ride with me knowing I will not be as fast as he can be. So I am always pleased when he rides with me now and I have stopped apologising. He gets a good recovery ride, and I sit in behind him and get a good workout. On windy days he gets a reasonable workout too, because as he "motor-paces" me, he does all the hard workj into the wind...

Enjoy your Giant... mine has served me well

[trinena]

TRINENA!!!

Awesome bike to have!

I have a Giant TCR2... I loved her the moment I first rode her - everything just "fitted. We have, over the last 18months, turned her into a time trial specific bike - bladed seatpost, aerobars, barend shifters, rotorcranks... and I still do not want to upgrade... she does everything required...

What a great first ride - a decent distance, and "interesting" events along the way (I have not yet met a police shackled person on any of my travels!!!)

It has taken me a long time to stop myself apologising to my husband when I ride slower than him (always - except coasting downhill, as I have more critical mass with my extra 15kgs, I coast waaaaay faster than him )

However, he chooses to ride with me knowing I will not be as fast as he can be. So I am always pleased when he rides with me now and I have stopped apologising. He gets a good recovery ride, and I sit in behind him and get a good workout. On windy days he gets a reasonable workout too, because as he "motor-paces" me, he does all the hard workj into the wind...

Enjoy your Giant... mine has served me well

RoadRaven- Good to know you love your Giant & good idea about recovery rides/no apologies. Here's a pic of my bike built up by my husband.

[TrekTheKaty]

Beautiful wheels!

I hate to giggle, but it's nice to know others out there have cried a tear or two while riding with their significant other! There was one knockdown-dragout in the driveway! He doesn't understand my fears--he's been riding since he was a kid. He doesn't think twice about heading off in any unknown direction or down any hill without a thought how he will get back up. He considers being supportive, riding tucked just off my left rear wheel--I can't see anything in my mirror except him and can "physically" feel how I'm holding him up. However, the last time I complained, he said, "You ride faster in the front. I'm letting you lead!"

My sister has had similar problems. She called me giggling last week because she had a tear-fest in the exact same spot I did! In the beginning, she would only do a paved park path, but has learned to ride on a gravel rail-trail, cross roads, ride on wide shoulders and explore other trails. I don't go anywhere unless I've driven the route.

I ride with my DH a couple days a week, with my sister a couple days a week, and by myself a couple days a week. It keeps everyone sane

And yes, don't apologize. I do it all the time--it's a female thing. STOP.

[Jiffer]

Sometimes it's hard to be the woman. We are simply not built as strong as men (typically). So, when we ride bikes with them, it is absolutely not fair that they get to ride faster, possibly even if they're not in very good shape. Yet, we have to work hard to keep up and get mentally discouraged.

I was enticed by the idea of cycling years ago, but I think think the idea of getting out on the road with cars and all that freaked me out a bit too much. And clipping in? No thank you!

My dh sucked me into his great love for cycling by talking me into getting a tandem road bike. This was both extra freaky, because I had to completely trust him, yet strangely comforting, because .... I basically DID trust him. I knew he was a strong and safe rider. And he told me over and over again (when I'd panic about something) that he rides even more cautiously with me than he does on his own. I have to remind myself of that when we're flying down a hill at 40 mph or about to take a turn at a relatively high speed, or approaching an intersection that I feel like we should already be slowing for, yet we're not.

Anyways, I was lucky to learn the ropes of road biking by riding on the back of a tandem. It wasn't long before I was itching to get my own road bike and, when I did, I was almost immediately out riding it on my own, my first "long" ride being 20 miles a couple of days after I got it. (Remember, I had been riding the tandem, so I was comfortable on my own a LOT faster than I otherwise would have been.)

So, as far as you getting used to your bike, yes ... go at your own comfort level. Find other people closer to your level to ride with if at all possible. Tell your dh to keep it in his big ring and enjoy the scenery when he's with you. My dh doesn't ride with me that often unless we're on the tandem, but when he does, and we're on a hill, his goal is to get up the hill on his big ring with the lowest heart rate possible. I'm huffing and puffing and going 5 times slower than he would be were he going his usual pace. But he does it for fun every now and then.

Lately, we were able to do two back to back rides together where he wasn't going nearly so slow. He "pulled" me and two other friends of ours down to the beach and back, 66 miles, at an 18 mph average. While this was a killer hard ride for me, it was a moderate ride for him, yet he enjoyed it. It wasn't nearly as slow as he has had to go with me in the passed. I got stronger, just as you will. Things DO get better!

I do highly recommend you consider a tandem, by the way. It really is a great way for you and your dh to ride together at your own levels. You can both push at your own exertion level and stay together.

Lastly, our club has a women's only ride, where it's basically beginner to intermediate women, who don't ride so fast. It's possible there is a group like this in your area. Lately, I'm blessed to have a friend (that sucked into riding) and we ride together two to three times a week. We're right about exactly the same level. It's wonderful.

[RoadRaven]

Sometimes it's hard to be the woman. We are simply not built as strong as men (typically). So, when we ride bikes with them, it is absolutely not fair that they get to ride faster, possibly even if they're not in very good shape. Yet, we have to work hard to keep up and get mentally discouraged.

Hey there Jiffer. This is a good point you have made, and although it has been discussed before I just thought I would emaphasise it (via your words) again.

Women get disillusioned when they compare themselves to men. Some of our new riders over the past years have set themselves unrealistic goals and then become disappointed.

It is a biological fact that women do not have the same muscle mass as men. The only way we could would be with chemical enhancement.

Because men have more muscle, they are not only stronger with a better power-weight ratio, but they are more efficient in using oxygen (the more muscle you have the more efficienly the body processes oxygen in relation to your enrgy outputs). And thats even before either gender starts training in their fave discipline!!!

As long as guys and gals can realise and accept this, alot of the superiority/inferiority hang-ups both genders have will dissipate.

Be the best YOU can be. All you can affect is yourself and your own performance. And enjoy. That is the primo thing.

[jsdilks]

I'll second Jiffer's comments about a tandem. My DH has had to deal with my anxiety in many areas and he's been very patient. I was terrified of going down any incline, turning any corner, or going into the street when we started riding in April. So he backed off on his desired cadence level and I've gotten stronger. We're on bike paths for the most part too - I wouldn't be very comfortable in the street. Some of our rides now get us out into streets more than when we started - but I'm reassured because I know that dh is making eye contact with drivers at intersections and we always follow rules of the road (even while other bikers all around us blast through the stop signs or turn in front of cars...makes me nuts.) He gets a good workout too, because our efforts are at different levels. Some days he just ends up pulling for us both because I give out. But I warn him ahead of time when that's coming. And we have lots of communication all the time - that's the basis for tandem riding for us. Comfort level increases though with time and repetition. And then confidence will generate into better rides for you too!!