Am I a Cycling Sourpuss? -unmet wishes of others

[shootingstar]

Several people at work have been idly egging me on playfully to sign up for a 70 kms. MS fundraiser ride that's actually in the area where I work.

I have politley refused. My response is:
1. "At this time, the area reminds me too much of work."
It does include a winery or 2. It's 140 kms. over 2 days. But honest, my partner and I have 2 different bike trips planned within next 4 weeks. Each trip will feature wineries, bistro, plus prolonged cycling with loads and 1-2 days no loads. Both trips are 3-4 days each, in well-known winery/touring areas OUTSIDE OF work.

2. "Besides I want to enjoy the stuff in my area and north of us which is tough because I have such a long commute from work. I don't get home until 7:00pm"

So then I was asked to donate /sponsor the riders. I hate to admit this, but I actually RELUNCTANTLY gave a token donation. Our office team leader nearly foisted the clipboard in my face. I felt cornered. I ...will...admit...I nearly resented this sort of thing.....people forcing me into stuff related to cycling..that wasn't part of my personal plans.

Am I sourpuss? My partner said, "My donation is good for office working relationships".

3. And another office MS rider ...is running around telling everyone in office, gleefully she is doing a 70 kms. ride...when she hasn't biked in last few years. She's borrowing a friends bike. Ride is next weekend. I have suggested she should seriously consider practicing...

I really don't want to hear her anymore..not right now.

Am I a cycling sourpuss?

[redrhodie]

Sounds to me like your issues are with your job, not cycling.

[shootingstar]

Sounds to me like your issues are with your job, not cycling.

yea, one reality..this job means less time to cycle during the week. Quite different from other former jobs. I've been cycling for many years...so that means several different employers in different locations.

In all frankness, the personal trips I've mentioned that we just planned yesterday,...are in way more more beautiful areas.
This MS ride ...over 2 days, would mean we have to take a hotel...close to where I work??? No, please..

[redrhodie]

Sounds like cycling is part of your real life, and you don't want to make it part of work life. Nothing wrong with that! I'm sure you give them enough of you during the week!

Spending the weekend with co-workers, money on a hotel, in an area you'd rather avoid doesn't sound like fun. Ride your own rides. Encourage them if you can bear it. Look at the donation as going to a good cause. They shouldn't expect more. Weekends were invented to get away from work (based on facts that I made up ) so don't feel guilty spending them any way you want.

[solobiker]

Sounds like cycling is part of your real life, and you don't want to make it part of work life. Nothing wrong with that! I'm sure you give them enough of you during the week!

Spending the weekend with co-workers, money on a hotel, in an area you'd rather avoid doesn't sound like fun. Ride your own rides. Encourage them if you can bear it. Look at the donation as going to a good cause. They shouldn't expect more. Weekends were invented to get away from work (based on facts that I made up ) so don't feel guilty spending them any way you want.

I completely agree. The last thing I want to do when I am out of work is spend time with people that I work with. I figure I spend more of my time during the week at work then at home doing what I want to do that I value "my time" I know a few of my co-workers kiss butt so much that they spend time off the clock doing work. Not me. So I say go on your own trips that you have planned and don't worry about the other one. Enjoy yourself as we don't have a lot of time on this planet. Do what you enjoy.

[RoadRaven]

The last thing I want to do when I am out of work is spend time with people that I work with. I figure I spend more of my time during the week at work then at home doing what I want to do

We must have been cross-posting, Solo
Just wanted to say "well said"

[Trek420]

another...is running around telling everyone in office, gleefully she is doing a 70 kms. ride...when she hasn't biked in last few years. She's borrowing a friends bike. Ride is next weekend.

And when she limps in after MS 150 you saunter in to work. "Oh, was it hard? I ride that to work each day"

Enjoy your rides, thanks for supporting an important cause.

[KathiCville]

Feeling backed into a corner on a volunteer effort is definitely no fun! ....Is it possible that your officemates are really (if awkwardly) paying you a compliment? If they're not serious cyclists themselves---particularly not daily commuters----they probably see you as so capable and passionate about riding that they assume you welcome any and all opportunities to bike. (The gal waving the clipboard in your face is possibly an exception, LOL!)........

As for the woman who is hoping to do the 70K route, maybe wishing her well is the ticket to feeling less annoyed? Sure, she's almost certainly in over her head (or butt, as the case may be!), but she'll raise a little money for a good cause and gain an appreciation for what long-distance cycling entails. Besides, being magnanimous when you don't have to be can feel pert darned good.

Definitely don't feel guilty about not wanting to spend your weekend with officemates! I agree with redrhodie: weekends are time for recharging your batteries, your way. Your two trips sound like fabulous getaways---enjoy them from start to finish!

[RoadRaven]

I HATE it when I get backed into corners for donations to things. I usually endeavour to point out that I choose the organisations I give to. If I have already given to the particular one that is in my face at that moment - I point this out also.

As for the not wanting to spend time with work-mates out of work hours - or even near the work-place... I totally relate.

Over the last few years I have been constantly pressured to go to conferences and symposiums in other parts of the country that last 2-6 days. I keep avoiding them and when I have to I choose the shortest ones, or sign up for the longer ones and only stay away 1-2 nights.

I chose my partner to spend my time with. I want to spend time with my children as they grow so quickly towards independance (the second one moves out today to his new job an hours drive/3 hours by bike away!).

I didn't choose to live with my colleagues.... and ultimately, in ten years time will I regret not being with my colleagues at some work-thing - or will I regret not going for my rides with my sons and partner, or not being able to read to my son in the evening and hearing instead how he missed giving me my morning hug? My guess is my colleagues will not factor at all...

Work is work, and while work-relationships are important, I think way tooooo much emphasis has been put on team-bonding, you see, I believe that as long as work-relationships are good, that can actually sometimes be enough!

[shootingstar]

Feeling backed into a corner on a volunteer effort is definitely no fun! ....Is it possible that your officemates are really (if awkwardly) paying you a compliment? If they're not serious cyclists themselves---particularly not daily commuters----they probably see you as so capable and passionate about riding that they assume you welcome any and all opportunities to bike. (The gal waving the clipboard in your face is possibly an exception, LOL!)........

A backwards compliment ...I guess.. The insane thing is that no one at work has actually seen me on bike..because I have to leave my bike midpoint in my huge commute and get back on commuter train, then bus and walk. I WALK in my cycling gear and carry my pannier for 15 min. each to and from work site to get to bus. I pick up my bike from locked area and cycle home. It's a fitness, destressing thing..y'all know that!

Thx, folks..I thought I was being graceless and grumpy at them. But no, corporate team-bonding can get abit too much. I'm in a contract job that will be finish at end of next year. Many of these people are ex-pats, from overseas on work visas..I wouldn't choose them as friends outside of work, anyway. (I have kept just a few long-term friends from other workplaces...which doesn't mean I don't believe in possible friendships growing. But I choose work-related friends abit more carefully.)

I sent by email to them yesterday late afternoon, some links to my personal web pg. of some self-loaded touring rides here in southern B.C.. photos taken across several different years and locations. Just proof that I genuinely AM on the bike and do like doing/can do distances.

[blondiebiker]

A backwards compliment ...I guess..
..because I have to leave my bike midpoint in my huge commute and get back on commuter train, then bus and walk. I WALK in my cycling gear and carry my pannier for 15 min. each to and from work site to get to bus. I pick up my bike from locked area and cycle home. It's a fitness, destressing thing..y'all know that!

That sounds like some intense de-stressing!