why do I have anxiety when it come's to money?

[Brandi]

See this is a very strange thing about myself I don't understand? Anytime we talk about or I do anything that has to do with money i have anxiety attacks! I have to take a deep breath before i look at my bank account online. I overbank too. Like I am constantly on top of it. But i do our business accounting too.
Now for the real strange part....we don't have money troubles. We will have our house paid off in about 5 years maybe less. and I am 39. From what i understand that is good. I have retirement going. ok health insurance ( what insurance is really good?). I just don't understand why it get's me worked up? we don't really over spend. I just don't get it. I am pondering this because today I was doing some business accounting and had to stop and breath. Just nuts!

[tulip]

I have anxiety about money, too. My anxiety manifests itself differently, though. I AVOID my bank account. I hate paying bills. I have enough (although this past year has been tough with the divorce), but I just want to ignore it.

I grew up poor, so maybe that's my problem. I don't know. Money's wierd.

[Brandi]

My parents were very irresponsible and sometimes thing like the electricity would be shut off or the phone. Mainly cause they would forget to pay the bill or they might unfortunately spend the money. I don't know maybe that has something to with my problems.

[mimitabby]

My parents were very irresponsible and sometimes thing like the electricity would be shut off or the phone. Mainly cause they would forget to pay the bill or they might unfortunately spend the money. I don't know maybe that has something to with my problems.

This is where you answer your own question.
I'm sure that's what it is.

[KnottedYet]

I love this book: Women and Money, by Suze Orman

Got my share of money issues, too, and this book has been a huge help.

[Brandi]

I will look into that book knott. But if i am secure now and i know it why does my brain do this?

[tulip]

I love this book: Women and Money, by Suze Orman

Got my share of money issues, too, and this book has been a huge help.

That book has been on my list for a while. Thanks for the reminder.

[shootingstar]

Bag lady syndrome when we get real old and frail...it's something I can't shake off completely.

On the other hand, it requires some serious attention to get off the bike...or off fun Internet forums and figure out good investment decisions..in today's markets... I think I have a headache starting....

My only comforting thought if unexpected things happen, that instead of a shopping buggy that I will pull along when I get old...I will walk my bike, if I can't ride it, with my panniers full of food....

[Skierchickie]

Me too. I don't worry about it until I buy something, though, and then freak out internally after. We've never had money problems, either. My parents farmed for 40 years, and didn't buy ANYTHING if they didn't have actual cash to cover it (cars, combines, tractors, etc). They've never had a loan in their lives, except for their little tiny mortgage for the farm when they were starting out in the '60s. I remember them paying it off when the mortgage company MADE them (they realized Mom & Dad had enough money to do that). M & D preferred having that money in the bank, making more interest than they were paying on the mortgage (this was when you actually got measureable interest in a savings account).

Anyway, my first car loan freaked me out (low interest on a low amount, loaned by my parents) after college. Then I got married, and freaked when I found out DH had $4000 in student loans and credit cards, combined). Never having owed $$, it was really scary.

I guess I'm saying that maybe it's those of us who have never faced financial crisis that stress the most (or maybe that is why we've never faced financial crisis).

Be happy - buy bike stuff. (Currently freaking after just looking at Madones on the Trek website).

[Blueberry]

I'm right there with you. DH and I are fine. We could live on one salary or the other. I did have lots of student loans (Duke + law school), but I've paid off almost all of those. I have a small loan payment, a small car payment and a house payment. That's it. No credit cards, etc. And we're a long ways towards saving for retirement.

But....I'm decidedly unhappy with my job. It's giving me headaches, high blood pressure and my Dr. has repeatedly told me to quit. I have little to no time for me. DH supports my leaving. And somehow, I'm having trouble giving it up because "we might need the $$". Or worse, my parents (divorced, 1 remarried) might need the $$. (neither can manage $$, both buy whatever they want and expect someone else to pay for it - I can't support them in good conscience - and haven't, but still feel like I should be able to just in case...) I don't even have a good relationship with them. *sigh* I was a whole lot happier when I had no money, and didn't feel like I had to be responsible for everyone's problems *sigh*

[Brandi]

I'm right there with you. DH and I are fine. We could live on one salary or the other. I did have lots of student loans (Duke + law school), but I've paid off almost all of those. I have a small loan payment, a small car payment and a house payment. That's it. No credit cards, etc. And we're a long ways towards saving for retirement.

But....I'm decidedly unhappy with my job. It's giving me headaches, high blood pressure and my Dr. has repeatedly told me to quit. I have little to no time for me. DH supports my leaving. And somehow, I'm having trouble giving it up because "we might need the $$". Or worse, my parents (divorced, 1 remarried) might need the $$. (neither can manage $$, both buy whatever they want and expect someone else to pay for it - I can't support them in good conscience - and haven't, but still feel like I should be able to just in case...) I don't even have a good relationship with them. *sigh* I was a whole lot happier when I had no money, and didn't feel like I had to be responsible for everyone's problems *sigh*

It sounds like you need to figure out what would make you happy. And if your dh will support you leaving then I would! Your health is not worth your job!Giving up your health to make sure you can support your parents that you don't really like in the first place seems wrong to me. And maybe if they had to bail themselves out because you can't back them up might be a good lesson for them. I would follow your Dr's advice and start living for yourself and not other people. You have a life to live here why not try and make it a happy one if you can? For you!

[redrhodie]

I'm right there with you. DH and I are fine. We could live on one salary or the other. I did have lots of student loans (Duke + law school), but I've paid off almost all of those. I have a small loan payment, a small car payment and a house payment. That's it. No credit cards, etc. And we're a long ways towards saving for retirement.

But....I'm decidedly unhappy with my job. It's giving me headaches, high blood pressure and my Dr. has repeatedly told me to quit. I have little to no time for me. DH supports my leaving. And somehow, I'm having trouble giving it up because "we might need the $$". Or worse, my parents (divorced, 1 remarried) might need the $$. (neither can manage $$, both buy whatever they want and expect someone else to pay for it - I can't support them in good conscience - and haven't, but still feel like I should be able to just in case...) I don't even have a good relationship with them. *sigh* I was a whole lot happier when I had no money, and didn't feel like I had to be responsible for everyone's problems *sigh*

I can relate to this! I was stuck in a job I hated that I was afraid to leave because it paid well. I read "The Art of Happiness" (an interview with the Dalai Lama) and left within months of reading it, the day after my 12th work anniversay to be exact. It was the best decision I could have made. I'm so much happier now, living in a different city without the stress I used to have. Oh, and I earn about half what I used to make, and have a lifestyle like the rich and famous (only slightly kidding). It's better than say Gary Coleman's, but not as lavish as Marie Osmond's .

My father, who never won dad of the year, recently asked me for a $6,000 loan to pay off his credit card debt. He and my stepmother always make fun of me for buying used stuff, driving 10+ year old cars, living in tiny places. They are gluttonous in their consumption of crap (they have 4 computers and 4 tvs in a 2 bedroom condo that's loaded to the rafters with STUFF). Even knowing that this loan would unlikely be repaid (dad is 80, which is less of a factor than his status as a bit of a deadbeat who occassionally works a grift) still made it hard to say no. Instead, I told them to send me all their financial records, and I would look at them before making an decison, but probably it would be a no. That stopped the process. They didn't expect me to make decison based on anything like their ability to pay me back.

You don't need to pay for your parent's mistakes.

And Brandi, stop worrying and enjoy yourself. You've done good.

[shootingstar]

I have a small loan payment, a small car payment and a house payment. That's it. No credit cards, etc. And we're a long ways towards saving for retirement.

But....I'm decidedly unhappy with my job. It's giving me headaches, high blood pressure and my Dr. has repeatedly told me to quit. I have little to no time for me. DH supports my leaving. And somehow, I'm having trouble giving it up because "we might need the $$". Or worse, my parents (divorced, 1 remarried) might need the $$. (neither can manage $$, both buy whatever they want and expect someone else to pay for it - I can't support them in good conscience - and haven't, but still feel like I should be able to just in case...) I don't even have a good relationship with them. *sigh* I was a whole lot happier when I had no money, and didn't feel like I had to be responsible for everyone's problems *sigh*

If your DH is clearly concerned about your job affecting your health, then you seriously need to rethink your career and where you want to go in future.

I'm like you...I like earning money as a form of insurance for the future which might have some surprises.

Need to separate your love for each of your parents and their money-spending habits. Love them , but only give money ..or better gift if used wisely. But well, by now, they won't change..

My parents are thrifty and responsible with $$...not credit card users. Probably greatest concern amongst siblings for them is to educate them on certain investment tools and taxes so that they won't get shafted. But no accountants in family....just savers......all of us.

So yea, I have lived simply when I was unemployed..but it's hard to watch daily, how one spends every dollar. There is a stress of constantly restricting oneself from even buying a food treaties or little things for self.

So to alleviate the stress...I went cycling every day.... there is nothing like free exploratory things to amuse oneself for hours....we should thank ourselves on this forum...we already are in love with some free exercise & entertainment (that is, after buying bike and right clothing).

[GLC1968]

I'm right there with you. DH and I are fine. We could live on one salary or the other. I did have lots of student loans (Duke + law school), but I've paid off almost all of those. I have a small loan payment, a small car payment and a house payment. That's it. No credit cards, etc. And we're a long ways towards saving for retirement.

But....I'm decidedly unhappy with my job. It's giving me headaches, high blood pressure and my Dr. has repeatedly told me to quit. I have little to no time for me. DH supports my leaving. And somehow, I'm having trouble giving it up because "we might need the $$". Or worse, my parents (divorced, 1 remarried) might need the $$. (neither can manage $$, both buy whatever they want and expect someone else to pay for it - I can't support them in good conscience - and haven't, but still feel like I should be able to just in case...) I don't even have a good relationship with them. *sigh* I was a whole lot happier when I had no money, and didn't feel like I had to be responsible for everyone's problems *sigh*

Quit your job and move both your butts out here. You'll love it. I swear!!

[Brandi]

I can live as minimal as possible, I know I can. I just have to get my brain to realize that and to not freak out so much. That's if I had too. I have been dirt poor before that is for sure. But I survived and do believe I was not totally miserable at that time. Oh well I need to just practice taking deep breaths and saying to myself "there's nothing wrong"!