racing vs. life. life wins...

[Running Mommy]

Hi all-
As you know I had a race this weekend. UGH, not the right timing, but I had signed up for it months ago so I figured I'd go anyway.
My life has been upside down lately. We are trying to get the shop open, and because of that I've had to cancel my sessions with my nutritionist. My ins. paid part of it, but I still had a good sized out of pocket, so I put that on hold. I have been struggling to stay on plan. When life is hectic it's so hard to stop and eat right. UGH! So I've been feeling icky. I also think I'm fighting a bug.
On top of that, Tony had knee surgery Friday in Vegas, so I flew up friday morning, and then after the surgery I drove him back to Phoenix- 5 hours...
And then Saturday morning we had to get on the road for another 5 hour trip to san diego for my race.
When packing for my race I was so rushed that I forgot my towel, chip strap, and number belt. Oh- and my toe covers for my bike shoes...
So anyway, we get to San Diego, pick up my packet and then crashed Saturday night, I barely had the energy to get my stuff ready. I had been nursing a headache since Thursday, and I just wasn't feeling it.
So this morning we get up and I realize that I have a race to do. UGH! But seeing as how I hadn't trained for 3 days- I needed to do SOMETHING! lol
So I get there, set up, and before I know it it's time to go. I got the usual ?'s about whether or not this is my first race... I guess I don't look much like a triathlete- much less an Ironman. And standing there I have a crappy body image because I feel like my eating and training is in the dumper. I almost want to say YES... sigh....
so into the water I go. DAMN it's COLD!! (dunk the head) and salty... "OY" I think...... And the gun sounds. I have good space most of the swim, but it seems long, and I feel tired. I'm trying to keep form, but it's not happening. Every once in awhile a girl next to me turns over and back strokes. When she does this she kicks like a boat motor and I swallow water... ugh...
Finally out of the water. Running up the boat ramp is PAINFUL! Even with the carpet. OUCH. Into T1 and out in a halfway decent time- I think.
On to the bike, usually my strong point, but not today. That headache is back, and my legs are dead. My right hammy is tight and I can feel a pull up into my glutes/hips. I figure I'll be toast on the run. The bike couldn't end fast enough. I love the course, but today I wasn't feeling it. And my toes were NUMB. I don't wear socks when I race, and I wear sidi triathlon shoes, so lots of holes..
Finished the 12 miles averaging 17.2 mph. HORRIBLE for a sprint! it should have been 18.2!!
So into T2 I go. I don't see the boys, but since Tony is on the injured reserve I figure he's found a chair somewhere, and thats just fine. I was in and out pretty quick. I had grabbed a water bottle and decided that I didn't want to carry it the whole time, so luckily I saw spencer and handed this off (btw- in a serious race this is against the rules. outside assistance/abandoning equipment). I take off and the gps is telling me I'm running 10:08 min miles??/ whaaaa?? I think. I feel like I'm slogging out 11's, so I'll take it. I had the same blaa feeling on the run, complete with headache. But now I also needed to pee... sigh...
I said to myself "Just git er done Denise" and kept going. The run was long 3.2 miles, but I averaged 10:27 min miles, which is pretty good for me. Esp. considering that I felt like dog doo!!
Don't have all my official times yet, just the two I had gps'd. I'm sure my swim was horrible.
But overall considering how I felt, I think I did pretty good. I do love that course.
After the race we took Spencer to legoland. We have season passes. We got a wheelchair for Tony, so I got to push him around. I thought I was going to pass out or puke a couple of times. My head was pounding and I just wanted to go to bed. Finally I got a nap this evening, and I feel a bit better. But still not 100%.
So I'm off to bed. We get to drive home tomorrow- and since sir gimpy knee can't drive- it's ALL ME!!
Sigh... I know I shouldn't complain. I should count my many blessings, and think of all those suffering in the world, but MAN it feels like life has been drop kicking me lately....
So please girls, I could use your reminders to take time for myself, and to keep on track. I'm counting on you to keep me accountable!
Thanks for your shoulder!!
Denise

[Zen]

I thought the story was going to say you didn't race but after all that YOU DID!
You're some kinda tough.
Do you have someone who can help you out at all? Meals, drive Mr. Gimpy to PT? You need a day off.

[crazycanuck]

(((Denise))))) You're still a cool chickie in my books, icky race or not.

Take care of yourself & don't fret over icky races. I'm sure your bike shop customers will think you're cool no matter what.

How about a tim tam?

C

[rocknrollgirl]

I taught for years next to a very nice man that was an old school football coach full of what we called " Dave " isms.

Whenever I was having a bad day he would say.....

Sometimes you bite the bear, and sometimes the bear bites you, that is just how it goes.

We all have those race days, and periods of life, where we just ain't feelin' it. It will settle down, and we will be here to listen along the way.

Good for you for gettin it done. Take a breath, and relax...things will settle...

[knapplaura]

Denise,
Be proud of yourself for getting out there and doing the race though you were not 100%. It takes more courage to get out there when you know you will not have your expected outcome but embrace the experience.

I honestly think the more races you do, period, the better you get. Training cannot simulate those stressful feelings.

I have been following your progress all summer and I am so proud of you. Don't get down, you have been trying so hard since AZ last year to improve in many aspects. That is tremendous work and motivation. 3 bad days will not erase 5 months of really hard work. Keep the perspective.

Also, when you are really stressed, make sure to take some time to decompress, if its yoga, pilates, or meditation that helps you. For me, sitting down and writing in my journal helps to collect thoughts and get perspective. Also I like hiking when I want to do something active w/no pressure of time or pace.

Hang in there, I am rooting for you! I will see you in Tempe in April!
Laura

[Tuckervill]

Way to go, Denise! It would have been so easy to just not start at all, but you did. It felt like crap but you finished and that's the important thing.

How about that day off? I think you need one.

Karen

[RoadRaven]

You not only started the race, when it got hard and then harder, you still finished it!
PLUS all the other "stuff"

Just want to stress what Zen said:

You're some kinda tough.

[sbctwin]

Congratulations on "doing it". I would have wimped out at the 5 hour drive. You may not have been "on" for the event, but you went out there and completed it. I hope you can fit in a day of rest, for your body and soul...you deserve it...

[Fredwina]

hey you did it!
The trick in life is knowing when to make lemons into Lemonade
Hope you got to see the T-Birds at Miramar on Sat. That was cool.

[redrhodie]

I don't know, I think racing won. If life won, you would have been eating chocolate while getting your feet rubbed by Fabio.

Oh, wait, that's my life .