Realty check - body image

[LBTC]

Yesterday DH took me to my favourite store and the owner, my friend, got me all dolled up in some fab new outfits including the total alpha b**ch work clothes. hmmmm Well, that was cool and made me feel wonderful, even though some of the sizes were a large....

Then we went to a very nice bra store and I was fitted properly. It's been a few years. I used to be a nice tidy 34C. Well, now I'm a 34D, and in some brands a 34 DD

This is pretty conflicting. I hate to spend $155 on a great new bra that actually fits when I'm just beginning to get back into shape. I don't know what to think of the extra size in those cups And, of course, DH has no idea why this is an odd and difficult time for me and how I feel about my body.

Anyone else find bra shopping difficult, unfun and sometimes terrible for body image?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Veronica]

I just refuse to shop in a store period. I do everything on line. Seriously, I hate to shop. I think it's because I don't like people. If I could just have the store all to myself...

I assume my bras fit properly. They are mediums from Patagonia.

It's been a tough 14 months for you. Logically you know why you're not in the place you want to be. But emotionally, it's hard to take. I think it's hard for women to separate what we look like from who we are inside. Men always seem to think they're hot, even with the huge beer gut and the hairy back.

If it were me, I wouldn't buy the bra, unless the ones I had were terrible. You're working on getting back in shape. It won't fit in a few months.

Sending those hugs and butterflies right back at ya.

V.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

This is pretty conflicting. I hate to spend $155 on a great new bra that actually fits when I'm just beginning to get back into shape. I don't know what to think of the extra size in those cups And, of course, DH has no idea why this is an odd and difficult time for me and how I feel about my body.

Anyone else find bra shopping difficult, unfun and sometimes terrible for body image?

I've never spent more than $20 or so on a bra (Underarmour sports bra), with the average price I pay being about $12 or 15.... so I think it doesn't bother me much if I have to buy a different size or style bra every other year or so. I think if I spent $155 on a bra it would KILL me to have to go buy a different size one before it fell apart and I got my "money's worth" out of it!
I am not very big on top so maybe I can get away with buying less expensive bras?

[KnottedYet]

A well-fitting bra can be the key to serenity...

(bras drive me nuts for the most part)

$155 for a bra is a little beyond me, though.

Nordstrom does fittings, and I bought a bra there when I truly didn't know my size. I walked in, grabbed the first clerk I saw, and said, "I've lost 50 pounds, I have no idea what size I am, and I only want to buy ONE bra today."

She sized me and found one that fit me perfectly, cost $35 or so, and I still have it and wear it to this day.

Title 9 also does fittings (if you know your size you can order online) and they did a great job with both Trek420 and I. I just bought an expensive bra ($50) from them, which fits me very well and is very comfy.

(I have funny shoulder issues from my cancer surgery, so I don't mind spending some $$ on bras that feel good.)

[Trek420]

Title 9 also does fittings (if you know your size you can order online) and they did a great job with both Trek420 and I.

I hate to shop. But the Title 9 shopping experience was really quite good. I used to get whatever Primalwear uniboob producing thing I could fit the gals into

Knott's right. The key to nirvana is a bra that fits

One trip to T 9 now I know what fits and just as important which ones I like. Then bought online at Sierra Trading Post etc.

But $155? For that price it'd better hold 'em up, pedal your bike, cook dinner, built in back massager....

[kdskaggs]

I am tiny person with tiny boobs to match. What I once had is now gone after nursing my now teen-age kids. Bra and bathing suit shopping are enough to put me in a depression! I hate bra shopping! I have been measured a few times and it is so embarrasing to be told you are a 32A! :O I find a bra I like and then order it online when I need more. In this day of breast implants, it doesn't seem like there are many 32A's left, at least not many over the age of 12.

Kenda

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Kenda, I think there are PLENTY of natural A cup women out there...and plenty smaller too.

In my twenties I was a 34AA (all the way through breastfeeding two children for 3 years, too). Then at about 35 I became a 34A. Now in my 50's I'm a 36A. I don't feel too small at all! Maybe you are seeing a lot of A cup women wearing padded and pushup bras nowadays and they just look bigger- those bras are everywhere, and they do make one look bigger.
(remember the "36" is just the measurement around your ribcage, under your boobs. The "A", "B", "DD" etc is the actual cup size.)

I think the huge perky rock-hard grapefruit look is what we see everywhere in magazines, on the internet, in the movies... It's NOT what most women look like naturally....not by a long shot. Unless you are nursing a baby and are painfully engorged with milk- breasts are supposed to be soft and hang on the body in a natural graceful way. And natural breasts don't have cleavage on TOP when one is just standing naked. Natural breasts are beautiful, whether large or small, yet we are bombarded (boobarded?) with the promotion of structurally altered fakeness geared towards making us feel less beautiful about our own bodies.

Sorry....couldn't help a little rant....

[Grog]

I think the huge perky rock-hard grapefruit look is what we see everywhere in magazines, on the internet, in the movies... It's NOT what most women look like naturally....not by a long shot. Unless you are nursing a baby and are painfully engorged with milk- breasts are supposed to be soft and hang on the body in a natural graceful way. And natural breasts don't have cleavage on TOP when one is just standing naked. Natural breasts are beautiful, whether large or small, yet we are bombarded (boobarded?) with the promotion of structurally altered fakeness geared towards making us feel less beautiful about our own bodies.

Just to add to your rant: I am about 34A/AA and I actually really like being like that. However it's nearly impossible to get a bra that has no padding in that size. It's assumed that I'd want to show more than I have. I find this really annoying. The only option otherwise is the flat-chesting sport bra. And when I find a non-padded 34A, it's usually not really well constructed. *sigh*

[Eden]

Just to add to your rant: I am about 34A/AA and I actually really like being like that. However it's nearly impossible to get a bra that has no padding in that size. It's assumed that I'd want to show more than I have. I find this really annoying. The only option otherwise is the flat-chesting sport bra. And when I find a non-padded 34A, it's usually not really well constructed. *sigh*

My favorites are the "Barely There" brand - I like a bit of support, but I won't buy a bra with padding or wires in it. Of course they don't even call things by this description bras... they call them bralets.... http://www.barelythere.com/style.asp?cid=4&id=33
Love their cami's too

[KSH]

Yesterday DH took me to my favourite store and the owner, my friend, got me all dolled up in some fab new outfits including the total alpha b**ch work clothes. hmmmm Well, that was cool and made me feel wonderful, even though some of the sizes were a large....

Then we went to a very nice bra store and I was fitted properly. It's been a few years. I used to be a nice tidy 34C. Well, now I'm a 34D, and in some brands a 34 DD

This is pretty conflicting. I hate to spend $155 on a great new bra that actually fits when I'm just beginning to get back into shape. I don't know what to think of the extra size in those cups And, of course, DH has no idea why this is an odd and difficult time for me and how I feel about my body.

Anyone else find bra shopping difficult, unfun and sometimes terrible for body image?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

Some women pay $5,000 to up a bra size or two... I would see that as something good getting bigger boobs!

Yea, I don't pay over $20-ish for a bra. I have found the Target bras to be just as comfy as $40 bras... even more so.

Otherwise clothes shopping sucks! Who do they make these clothes for? Really.

[Kitsune06]

Yesterday DH took me to my favourite store and the owner, my friend, got me all dolled up in some fab new outfits including the total alpha b**ch work clothes. hmmmm Well, that was cool and made me feel wonderful, even though some of the sizes were a large....

Then we went to a very nice bra store and I was fitted properly. It's been a few years. I used to be a nice tidy 34C. Well, now I'm a 34D, and in some brands a 34 DD

This is pretty conflicting. I hate to spend $155 on a great new bra that actually fits when I'm just beginning to get back into shape. I don't know what to think of the extra size in those cups And, of course, DH has no idea why this is an odd and difficult time for me and how I feel about my body.

Anyone else find bra shopping difficult, unfun and sometimes terrible for body image?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

Welll I actually had kind of the opposite experience recently.
A couple years ago I was pretty solidly an A- or something. With my hair cut short and a bandanna on, baggy shorts, I could actually go topless without getting second glances. I hated bras. They rode up, the shoulder straps slid down, etc etc, I said 'Eff this' and started wearing sports bras all the time.

...then they started to be sore etc. Very uncomfortable. Hated wearing bras.
...
had a funny little thought around a month ago, and decided to raid X's underwear drawer, found a C and put it on. I was amazed at how close it was to fitting. Went to the store and realized I was comfortably a B+, not quite a C. Wow. I mean Wow. Shocked.
and this happened at the same time as the waist-trimming and sculpting from all the running around and order processing at TE... so I realized all of a sudden that wearing a 'real' bra (not a smooshing sports bra) did really nice things for my bod and I looked so much better in more form-fitting clothes than the uber-baggies I had been wearing all the time.

So yeah.... I'm happily at 36B now, but I'm kinda wondering if I'll be at 36C next year (?) but it was nice.

[Wahine]

I'm a solid 36 A. It's not easy to find a 36 A and like many other women here I don't want a whole lot of extra padding. DH calls those FAB - false advertising bras. Any way, I've just started to go braless except at work. I wear tight tees and the whole bit. Don't care anymore. But hey, it's important to be comfortable in your skin so you need to do what you need to do to feel good about yourself. As for my smaller than average breasts, DH says that anything more than a mouthful is a waste.

[bmccasland]

Since my weight has fuxuated, am essentially a size larger than when I moved here 5 years ago, but that menopause thing has really messed me up. So I took myself to Victoria's Secret, begged for mercy and got fitted again. Just because I wore a 32 b-c ten years ago apparently doesn't mean it fits now. They put me in a 34 c, then handed me a box full of 34c and suggested I try on several to pick ones I like. Took awhile, but it was the right thing to do. In fact I forced a friend of mine to do the same thing when she had me go shopping with her - she's large chested and always wears sports bras, but needed to get something that fit to wear under a nice dress.

Clothes - I find that sales help makes the difference. My current favorite is Banana Republic because their sales people actually help, and will tell you when something doesn't look right. When I lived in rural areas I did a lot of catalogue shopping, but would often get clothes that didn't fit right (especiallly slacks and skirts).

And shopping in general - being short, and medium build, I've never had much of a selection in the 'petit" department; until I moved here. That *inbreeding* of French bloodlines means there are LOTS of short people in this city - I'm no longer short! I'm average height. It is very strange to be taller than some men in the office!

[Grog]

I come out of the closet as one who likes very well-fitted bras, despite (or because) of my 34A(or AA, thanks to cycling and running...)-sized chest. Little I have, I like to be have wrapped in a pretty AND comfortable bra.

I LOVE going to an actual lingerie store with a true professional attendant who will size me properly. There is a very nice store right next to a good bike shop here in Vancouver: you can get fitted on your bike on one side, and in a nice bra on the other. Both are equally important to me!

I find that, for body-image purposes, it's better to have great clothes that fit you NOW than to have clothes that you hope will fit you well in the future. That way, when you look at yourself, you can say 'Wow' and not be constantly reminded that you're not the size you'd like to be. No matter what size you are, you are gorgeous, and your clothes should emphasize that (but not steal the show).

Plus: Too-tight bras create an "overflow" problem that shows through clothing, especially buttoned shirts (not so much for heavy sweaters of course). What is the purpose of getting nice suits if the base layer is neglected?

Properly fitted underwear does a lot for my self-confidence. I really hate having to pull at a too big/small piece of underwear as I walk to the front of a room to give a talk. It's not that important to look good, but I find that it's a great confidence-booster in critical moments.

Nice, well-fitted bras are not necessarily that expensive. I'm sure your friend can help you find something good in the $50 range, and, if not, visit a good lingerie store. Those that have been around for a while usually have lots of older models in the backstore, organized by size. They're the best!

And if you come around Vancouver soon, I'll gladly take you bra-shopping!!!!

[solobiker]

I hate to shop, just like V. I just don't like to be around crowds of people. I work with people all week so the last place I want to be is surrounded by more. I would rather be outside, so I opt for spending no more then $25. I have a very hard time buying clothing (other then outdoor/sport clothing) for myself. However, if it fits well and makes you feel better then it is worth it.