Is this child abuse?

[lauraelmore1033]

I was riding in the Wenatchee rotary apple century yesterday and I noticed, during the climb before the halfway point, that I was playing "leap-frog" with a man and his young son. I would estimate the young man was under the age of 10, and he and his father seemed on the well fed side. now, the first 25 miles had been relatively flat, but then the route became gradually steeper, climbing from around 600 feet to somewhere over 2400 over 25 miles. Add to that the fact that it was raining rather persistently and several riders were carted away for hypothermia, and this seemed like a very dangerous and unreasonable experience to put a child through. I did notice that the boy's mother was providing personal SAG services in the family van. We passed their van, pulled off to the side of the road several times, and witnessed what seemed like an awful lot of cajoling and earnest,fast talking during these frequent stops. It seemed to me that they would pull off in such a way as to sheild the boy from the view of passing cyclists. I had the distinct impression that the boy was exhausted and wanted to quit. I was exhausted and wanted to quit at that point, and I was trying to imagine how that would have felt at the age of 10. a nightmare! We took off from the halfway point and didn't see them riding after that. The little family did show up for the spagetti feed after we were almost done eathing, so I'm presuming that boy was forced to ride every mile of the 100 and finished some time after we did. I'm still convinced that was something that a child should not have been put through. Am I wrong? Should I have said something?

[Mr. Bloom]

Well, we don't have a perfect perspective or the benefit of background leading up to the ride...but I wouldn't have taken our 13 year on the metric tour yesterday unless the conditions were perfect - I wanted it to be fun for him, so he'd want more.

Is it abuse? I don't know, is making a kid play football when they don't want to abuse? In my house, yes, but legally, no...

But gee, this is definitely not a way to nurture a love of cycling in the kid, eh?

[salsabike]

I don't honestly know. I guess I would have had to see the boy himself and see if he was suffering.

On STP last year, there was a young rider (somewhere around 10-12) who did the 206 miles in one day. He was clearly willing and wanting to do it, though.

[lauraelmore1033]

Oh, I've been smoked by speedy youngsters during organized rides before (some even of a metric distance), so I know it is possible for a little guy/girl to rise to that sort of challenge quite happily. But none of those rides had that sort of elevation change, distance or weather conditions. My own sons were/are distance runners from the time they entered middle school on. One of them even ran a half marathon in high school--but it was always about them doing something they chose to do themselves. I think (I hope, I hope ) I can tell the difference between choice and coersion. These people were ACTING like what they were doing was wrong. They were actively trying to hide what they were doing. When my son ran his marathon, he did it entirely under his own steam, and if he hadn't been able or willing to finish, we would both have said we were proud of him and left it at that.
I don't know why, but I am haunted by what I saw.

[singletrackmind]

I took my 4 year old son on the tandem for a 39 miler yesterday. Someone teasingly said it was child abuse so I had him ask my son how he felt. "Good" cam the reply. Then he asked if he liked it. "YES!" was the answer. Did he want to quit? "NO!". Then again, no cajoling required except I had to promise a playground at the end rather than the one he saw in the middle of the ride so he'd get back on the bike. He always gets a couple hours at the playground and a treat after. We are always prepared to sag...though he's never asked to so far. He's an amazing kid. I've also seen several elementary school age kids doing similar distances and more on their own bike and have talked to and praised their proud little selves.

Was it child abuse? Hmm. That's so hard to say without personally knowing the dynamic. It's easy to judge from the sidelines but sometimes we judge wrong as well as sometimes right. That they cared enough for a personal sag says there's more to the story. Perhaps this kid's really trained hard for this and his parents are encouraging and behind him 100%, giving him pep talks to keep him going along. Seems they aren't forcing him to ride if he had the opportunity to ditch for the dry van at any time.
Or, perhaps not.

Too bad you didn't get the chance to walk up and congratulate the kid, maybe ask how he came to take up such a tough ride and how he liked it. Then maybe you'd get peace of mind....or nightmares.

Either way, it's good of you to care.

[Andrea]

I can speak from experience here-
I started running track when I was 7 years old. By age 10, I was competing at the state level in the 1500m run. There were times that I'd go out & run with my dad, and other runners would look conerned because I'd be red-faced and looking like I was about to pass out. If you'd asked me if I was having fun, I would have told you NO, but if you asked if I wanted to quit, I would have also said NO. If I DID want to quit, my dad would always encourage me to keep pushing, and I usually did. He never forced me to do anything, but he didn't want me to give up early, either. A lot of it had to do with my stubborn and infinately competitive personality. Some kids are stubborn like that.

This very well may have not been the case in your situation, but I figured maybe I could put in a different perspective.

[lauraelmore1033]

You're right, single track mind; I should have congratulated the boy afterwards, but I was seething at those parents who appeared unwilling to let the boy ditch when he clearly wanted to. Another thing to regret. It occurs to me that I was projecting my own situation as a kid onto these people (being forced into various strenuous activities I had no desire to do) and it actually seemed a lot worse than my own situation. I'm in no way saying that people who encourage thier kids to enter athletic events are in the wrong. I was just concerned because the child appeared ready to quit for quite a long time and the parents weren't supportive of that.
Andrea, your perspective comes as something of a relief to me. Thanks.

[alpinerabbit]

Whether it is child abuse or not - we shall not be the judges on this forum as we were not with the family (as has been pointed out elsewhere it appears not comme il faut to comment on other people's intents).

However I will break the above mentioned rule by pointing out that following an organized ride (for what purpose??) is not very smart (although I see another thread with just the topic) for environmental and half a dozen other reasons.

Imagine 3000 riders with 3000 sag vehicles. Dumb.

And even dumber to give the kid an incentive to (perhaps? we weren't there, remember) whine about getting a ride.

[lauraelmore1033]

had to google "comme il faut" to find out what it meant, but yeah, 'tis true--and I'm really just whining about my own hang-ups here anyway.

[alpinerabbit]

Hi Laura,

alas the www is a bad medium to get intent across. Of course you are entitled to wondering about it. I would also have thought "stupid parents for making their kid do this". I bet you they saw to it he never wants to ride again. I love the "on the well fed side" and that as well makes you think, doesn't it.