How do you stay safe..alone?

[Jenn]

Ok, I never really thought about being "asaulted" until recently. Even though we live on a military base, I ride On Sat a ALL hill ride which is 10 miles out VERY isolated. DH even said at 7AM on Sat Morning there should be VERY few cars but SP's, however I've had a few cars pass me WAY too close.
After reading posts and seeing what is going on, I'm now scared to go out there alone. Even with a mirror, if I see a car coming up on me....I can't do anything. What do ya'll do to keep yourself self.....
All I can think about is..now this precious littlel girl leaving TARGET of all places....ugh..Attacked in a DAY LIT parking lot!!
Then,honestly do we even have a chance if somebody runs us off the road, I know I was "dazed and confused" after my wreck...I don't even remember riding home! Wow, scary stuff!!
God bless the family of beautiful young Kelsey and her family in this difficult time.
Jenn

[mimitabby]

not sure what little girl you are talking about.
If you think about it, you're never really safe; a meteorite might fall on your head.
I try to always carry a cellphone. Someone knows where I am.
I have mirrors and try to be aware of my surroundings (no headphones for me).


be careful

[Jenn]

not sure what little girl you are talking about.
If you think about it, you're never really safe; a meteorite might fall on your head.
I try to always carry a cellphone. Someone knows where I am.
I have mirrors and try to be aware of my surroundings (no headphones for me).


be careful

Wow, Kelsey Smith, graduated 2 weeks ago...wen't to Target, to buy gifts for friends...been all ove rthe news.....all the viedo camaeras showed her getting attacked and pushed into her car....? I'm sure her family would have rather get hit by a meteor but she wasn't she was brutually abducted. Wow, they found her BODY off the pings from her CELL PHONE when everybody was trying to call her.
I know everyday is a gift, we could die tomorrow, I was just asking, how to we "TRY" to prevent this.
Huh, and I get teased by people I know I'm TOO paranoid, because I'm always watching.....if you've been asaulted before, as I have, paranoid is GOOD!

[Python]

Hmm, difficult question.

On one hand we all want to enjoy a peaceful existence, come and go as we please, do what we want, when we want.

On the other hand, we want to stay safe, be able to go about our business without fear of being assaulted or intimidated and in this day and age, that is not an easy task.

I tend to be bloody-minded. I refuse to be intimidated or frightened into not doing something. It's almost 11pm here as I write this and if I decided to go out for a cycle then that is exactly what I'd do. As it happens, it's my 3rd Wedding Anniversary and I'm enjoying a glass of wine at the moment (a rare occurrence for me).

If I'm in a situation which is frightening (and as an ex taxi-driver I had quite a few frightening experiences), I won't show I'm frightened. I put out serious "attitude" vibes and make sure my body language says "Don't mess with me". Body language is a HUGE give away to what someone is really thinking or feeling.

When I was a taxi driver I had one really serious incident. I had been sent to a village some miles out of town to pick up from the local pub. It was a two car booking which got downgraded to a one car booking. Five men piled into my taxi. The taxi I drove at that time was only licenced to carry 4 people, not 5. When I told the men I couldn't take all five of them, one of them got very nasty and started goading the others. To cut a long story short, they decided me being a very small and petite female was easy game. Wrong. What they didn't know was that I am a 1st Kyu Brown Belt in Karate. I thumped two of them good and proper, one limped away down an alley, three stood well back and the fifth, the instigator of the whole thing couldn't take no for an answer so I gave him a corker of a black eye The police eventually turned up and sorted things out. They turned out to be gipsies so they never were charged by the police (typical in our country).

That night, if I had shown fear, I don't really know what would have happened. Perhaps I would not be sitting here writing this now. I don't know.

What I do know is I'm the type of person who tends to get angry - very angry - when someone does something like this. I know what I'm capable of and I wouldn't hesitate to use it again if I had to. Hopefully I won't. Hopefully my body language of "Don't mess with me" would be enough to deter a would-be assailant.

I think part of staying safe is assessing a potential situation and if that means turning back then that is what we should do.

What we shouldn't do is allow the what might happen to rule our lives. If we did that, we wouldn't have any life at all.

[Tri Girl]

I know- I'm shocked about Kelsey. If I think about things like that too much I get too freaked out. Broad daylight with people around. Like the video of the 92 year old guy getting the crap beat out of him while 5 people standing 10 feet away did nothing. So random and so scary.

I'm not as paranoid as I used to be, but I'm still very cautious. When I ride long distances alone I always call DH and tell him the general whereabouts where I'll be, and when I can be expected back. I ALWAYS have my RoadID on (with all pertinent medical and contact info), and my cell phone is always turned on and handy (in case I need to use it quickly). I used to carry pepper spray in my bento box (until it got on my food and I ate it accidentally ), but now it's in my saddle bag- although it may not do me much good back there. I try not to ride the same long route more than once a month (so as to not be predictable), I pay super close attention to my surroundings, and always make eye contact with people (I've heard that's a good thing to do- they don't think they can mess with you if you're staring them down). Also, even if it's daylight, I leave my rear taillight blinking on my bike. Anything to help cars notice me more is a good thing.

My family thinks I'm paranoid, but I don't care. I DO keep my front door locked when I'm home (you wouldn't believe the number of home invasions we've had around here recently- during the day with people home- crazy!!).

Other than that, I don't do much else. I just try to be aware of my surroundings and alert to things that make me feel uncomfortable or uneasy. I don't live in fear, but I try to do the best I can to protect myself. Just do the best you can to keep yourself safe (whatever that may be). You know your surroundings better than anyone.

[teigyr]

When I ride, I remain very aware of my surroundings and who is near me. I don't wear headphones and I'm always keeping track of who I passed and who is coming up behind me. I figure if there was a bad person, I could probably outride them unless they did something bad like bash me on the head or make me fall.

At home, when I lived alone, I was also concerned so I made sure I parked my car in view of my house. I also had cats so I figured they'd alert me to strange noises! They did but the noises turned out to be rats

At the mall or anywhere in public, I park my car near smaller cars and NOT near vans or large vehicles that hide my car from view. When I walk to my car, I usually will have my finger near the panic button on my car alarm. If I'm nervous, I'll have my cell phone out. I've been known to "talk on the phone" but not be on the phone if I have to walk by questionable people...ie say something like "oh, I see you! I'll be right there, I'm just walking by <insert landmark here>". Holding your keys between your fingers (ie one key between each finger) could make a marvelous weapon too.

It's all scary stuff. While I'm not living life in fear, I figure it's better to be proactive and lessen the chances of Bad Things happening.

Oh and when I ride alone, someone knows when I left and I'll call to check in periodically.

DH is worried about where I run in the mornings. It isn't a bad neighborhood and it's daylight so I'm ok with it but he'd prefer me to run in an area with less apartment buildings and more older and established homeowners. I might make the switch, it's all a matter of running in a different direction.

I might take a kickboxing/self-defense series of courses. The kickboxing would be for fun but this place also offers martial arts. I think it would be good to have a realistic view of what I can do if I have to.

[onimity]

The story about Kelsey Smith is very sad and a good reminder to all of us that we need to be safe. But there is a fine balance too, if we feel threatened enough that we restrict our own freedoms that is a negative too.

If someone is willing to injure a cyclist with a vehicle in order to abduct them, there isn't a lot you can plan to be able to do IMO, but I'd think such a scenario very unlikely unless the person has identified you as a victim in advance. It can be dangerous riding alone when roads are empty. I had a car follow me on my way to the bus stop (commuting after dark) a few months ago, I made 3 stops and the car was there each time and would pull out right after me.

So I'd say that the first step is to notice patterns like that. These sorts of attackers often watch a potential victim in advance, maybe days, maybe hours, maybe minutes. But if you notice in return, and let the person know that by making eye contact, that's the biggest defense you have. You have to keep an eye open in all directions and notice suspicious behavior before it becomes a problem. If you notice that someone seems to be watching/following you, report it to police and vary your usual pattern. And of course carry a cellphone when you ride.

Off your bike, be aware of where people are around you. Pay attention to your peripheral vision; protect your personal space. If someone a lot larger and stronger than you gets a good hold on you, your chances of escaping are not great. You have the best chance of preventing something like that from happening to you by reacting before you are physically restrained.

I took a few years of martial arts and that really gave me a lot of confidence in potentially dangerous situations. Don't get me wrong, I don't live under the delusion that I don't have to pay attention because I think I could kick the a$$ of anyone who tried to attack me. Quite the opposite, I learned my limits and my weaknesses, and how to work around them.

The things that I found extremely valuable (and you can learn these from a good self-defense class) were:

1) a greater sense of awareness, an ability to 'see' what sort of attack is coming from the preparation.

2) the ability to yell. It seems like it will be easy when attacked, but many people panic and can't get a sound out. And I don't just mean a little 'eek!' either, I mean yelling like a crazed psycho that is going to tear someone's eyeballs out. You have to practice that, you have to get over the embarrassment of yelling. The point is partially to attract attention of course, but the other aspect is that it can surprise an attacker enough that they can become momentarily flustered. And that's your chance for escape.

3) learn responses to basic attacks until you know them cold. The point here is not to fight back but to escape. What do you do when someone grabs your neck from behind? If you think about that after someone has grabbed your neck from behind it is already too late; you may have only seconds of consciousness left. You have to have a plan that is physical, not intellectual, which your body instinctively responds with. You don't have time to ponder the e-mail you read which suggested sticking your key in someone's gut. For this reason I'd suggest taking a self-defense course that gives you the chance to practice over time, to get routines down cold and to practice them in front of people who can evaluate your effectiveness.

My two cents,
Anne

[Python]

So I'd say that the first step is to notice patterns like that. These sorts of attackers often watch a potential victim in advance, maybe days, maybe hours, maybe minutes. But if you notice in return, and let the person know that by making eye contact, that's the biggest defense you have. You have to keep an eye open in all directions and notice suspicious behavior before it becomes a problem.

Off your bike, be aware of where people are around you. Pay attention to your peripheral vision; protect your personal space. If someone a lot larger and stronger than you gets a good hold on you, your chances of escaping are not great. You have the best chance of preventing something like that from happening to you by reacting before you are physically restrained.


The things that I found extremely valuable (and you can learn these from a good self-defense class) were:

1) a greater sense of awareness, an ability to 'see' what sort of attack is coming from the preparation.

2) the ability to yell. It seems like it will be easy when attacked, but many people panic and can't get a sound out. And I don't just mean a little 'eek!' either, I mean yelling like a crazed psycho that is going to tear someone's eyeballs out. You have to practice that, you have to get over the embarrassment of yelling. The point is partially to attract attention of course, but the other aspect is that it can surprise an attacker enough that they can become momentarily flustered. And that's your chance for escape.

3) learn responses to basic attacks until you know them cold. The point here is not to fight back but to escape. What do you do when someone grabs your neck from behind? If you think about that after someone has grabbed your neck from behind it is already too late; you may have only seconds of consciousness left. You have to have a plan that is physical, not intellectual, which your body instinctively responds with. You don't have time to ponder the e-mail you read which suggested sticking your key in someone's gut. For this reason I'd suggest taking a self-defense course that gives you the chance to practice over time, to get routines down cold and to practice them in front of people who can evaluate your effectiveness.

My two cents,
Anne

The eye contact is a very important one. Last year hubby and I were in town. He needed to get money out of the hole-in-the-wall. I'm always vigilant at these things - there's been too many muggings in our town at ATMs. While he was getting his money out, I clocked a rather unkempt youth standing about 15 yards away, watching my husband. I turned and glared at him. He slunk off and stopped about 30 yards away in the opposite direction. I glared at him again. He disappeared. We walked up round the corner of the street into the main shopping area and who do we see again (by this time I'd warned hubby), but the same youth. This time I glared at him again but said in a loud enough voice for him to hear "Oh, look. Here's the police". He took off.

When I trained in Karate, we were lucky enough to have extra lessons in Street Self Defence. Karate is very good for teaching you self-discipline etc. but that is in a Dojo where there is plenty of room to manouvre. Often situations arise in real life where you wouldn't have that luxury.

We were taught how to escape from someone who pounces on you from behind and puts their arm round your neck. Grab his little finger (the weakest finger) and break it. Yes break it. Don't be squeamish on that. He'll let go - you run like h*ll.

Grab his wrist and dig your thumb as hard as you can (nail preferably) into the soft part where the wrist meets the hand. There's a nerve in there. Try it on yourself and you'll see what I mean.

If you're wearing stilletto shoes, whack your heel right down his shin and embed the heel of the shoe in his foot. If you follow the shin down, you should embed the heel of the shoe in the right place. Ouch! That'll hurt him and give you time to make your escape.

If both your arms are free, elbow him in the gut. Use both arms. One to do the elbowing, the other to drive back the elbow doing the elbowing. Should knock the wind out of him.

If you can, grab him by the Family Jewels and twist HARD. He should go down. As he goes down, grab his head and drive your knee as hard as you can into his face. Then run.

Go for his eyes. Poke them hard. Again, don't be squeamish. Worry about that later. Even better if you have long nails. If he gets blinded that's HIS problem.

While doing any of the above, yell and scream like a banshee like Onimity says. Attackers don't like noise.

Above all, keep a cool and calculating head although that can be easier said than done.

There are other ways of disabling an attacker but these could kill (Onimity if she's a high enough grade in the Martial Arts will know what I mean).

With many attackers it is a power thing. Power over someone they perceive to be weaker than themselves.

That's what happened to me except I was a lot stronger than they perceived me to be and it turned the tables on them. They suddenly found out they'd bitten off far more than they could chew. I was lucky that night in that I knew how to defend myself, and I know how lucky I was. It could easily have had a different outcome.

[makbike]

I simply choose not to live in fear. This does not mean that I wander about with little concern for where I am at any given moments. I live in a rural area with few cyclists so if I want to ride I either have to pack my bike and gear into my car and make a 50 mile round trip to ride with others or I can ride solo. I've always felt safe in my community and every time my bike has broken down on the road someone has offered me assistance (to call or take me to town). I always carry my cell phone with me and have used it to call for a ride or help (911). I can either leave my home or I can be a prisoner in my home - I leave knowing that any given moment my life could change but I'd rather take that chance then to live in fear 24/7.

[Jolt]

The eye contact is a very important one. Last year hubby and I were in town. He needed to get money out of the hole-in-the-wall. I'm always vigilant at these things - there's been too many muggings in our town at ATMs. While he was getting his money out, I clocked a rather unkempt youth standing about 15 yards away, watching my husband. I turned and glared at him. He slunk off and stopped about 30 yards away in the opposite direction. I glared at him again. He disappeared. We walked up round the corner of the street into the main shopping area and who do we see again (by this time I'd warned hubby), but the same youth. This time I glared at him again but said in a loud enough voice for him to hear "Oh, look. Here's the police". He took off.

When I trained in Karate, we were lucky enough to have extra lessons in Street Self Defence. Karate is very good for teaching you self-discipline etc. but that is in a Dojo where there is plenty of room to manouvre. Often situations arise in real life where you wouldn't have that luxury.

We were taught how to escape from someone who pounces on you from behind and puts their arm round your neck. Grab his little finger (the weakest finger) and break it. Yes break it. Don't be squeamish on that. He'll let go - you run like h*ll.

Grab his wrist and dig your thumb as hard as you can (nail preferably) into the soft part where the wrist meets the hand. There's a nerve in there. Try it on yourself and you'll see what I mean.

If you're wearing stilletto shoes, whack your heel right down his shin and embed the heel of the shoe in his foot. If you follow the shin down, you should embed the heel of the shoe in the right place. Ouch! That'll hurt him and give you time to make your escape.

If both your arms are free, elbow him in the gut. Use both arms. One to do the elbowing, the other to drive back the elbow doing the elbowing. Should knock the wind out of him.

If you can, grab him by the Family Jewels and twist HARD. He should go down. As he goes down, grab his head and drive your knee as hard as you can into his face. Then run.

Go for his eyes. Poke them hard. Again, don't be squeamish. Worry about that later. Even better if you have long nails. If he gets blinded that's HIS problem.

While doing any of the above, yell and scream like a banshee like Onimity says. Attackers don't like noise.

Above all, keep a cool and calculating head although that can be easier said than done.

There are other ways of disabling an attacker but these could kill (Onimity if she's a high enough grade in the Martial Arts will know what I mean).

With many attackers it is a power thing. Power over someone they perceive to be weaker than themselves.

That's what happened to me except I was a lot stronger than they perceived me to be and it turned the tables on them. They suddenly found out they'd bitten off far more than they could chew. I was lucky that night in that I knew how to defend myself, and I know how lucky I was. It could easily have had a different outcome.

Good tips. I do have to disagree in a way with the one about stiletto heels though--my advice would be DON'T WEAR THEM!! They may make a stomp to the foot extra painful for the creep, but they also hinder your ability to run and get the heck away from the situation (and not to mention they're just plain uncomfortable anyway). In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if wearing such shoes actually makes one more of a target, all other things being equal, because it's obvious that escape will be more difficult than for someone in flats or sneakers.

[farrellcollie]

not sure what little girl you are talking about.

I don't know who she is either - I don't recall seeing or hearing anything about it.

[Aggie_Ama]

I was talking to DH last night about this and he said that he would prefer I not ride alone out here. Although he thinks I am safe, he said he would rather me be overly cautious. We have had a few incidents of people "picking on" us in rather large trucks, his fear is that petite woman alone (or any woman) would spear them to step it up a notch. I am always the first one they come upon and have had large trucks honk, swerve and throw things at me.

So while it is resigning my back roads to the morons, I stay safe. He has absolutely no problem with me riding in the areas that the other cyclists are out at alone. Ironically, the traffic volume is much higher there but much more tolerant of the cyclists.