I can relate! This is what I've been told - my feet have to be operated on at some point. The earlier the better but I've been putting it way off. In the meantime, yes a large toebox is important. I found some Specialized shoes (Torch model) that despite the fact they're womens, they fit me well. My running shoes are mens because I can get those in a wider width. If you're like me, pressure on the bunion will make it spasm and it doesn't go away easily. Even after the pressure is off my foot, it'll hurt for a long time.
Orthotics might help too
