Good ride w/short rant!

[bikerHen]

I did my first organized ride of the year yesterday. It is, by my standard, a rather hilly ride. I've been sweating this ride since I bought my new bike last fall with it's compact double. If I couldn't ride these hills, then I had made a very expensive mistake! Well I didn't make a mistake because I rode every hill with NO stopping. Well, except the hill I made a 5 mile detour to avoid. I adopted a new strategy for the hills. Once I was in my easy gear I pedaled along slooow, steady, breathed deeply and stayed relaxed. It was an incredible moment when I topped the first hill and could still breath. The worst hill for me comes at the end of a lovely long stretch with the wind at your back, where I was going 25 - 30mph with minimal effort, ahhhhh! But then this nasty short but STEEP hill and it's on a loop, so you have to do it twice. Anyway, when I topped it for the second time I actually could talk to the fellow next to me. Thats never happen before!

So I had a great ride. The weather was nice, food stops were well stocked and the wind was doable. My average speed was up 1.75 miles from last years ride which made me very happy. It's always nice to have verification of improvment.

But . . . here's my rant . . . every hill I climbed, every rest I took and even when I was just pedaling along, I was passed by riders who felt the need to check on my health and well being. Yes, I'm fat and I'm slow but I'm not feeble. I'm sure these expressions were kindly given, but come on, I'm riding the same 50 miles they are just a little slower. I even had one gal STOP to ask if I needed help when I pulled over to blow my nose! This happen on last years ride too. Yes I am a little sensitive about being overweight. But I really hate to be catagorized as a struggling fat person when I'm having a wonder ride/day. So I'm wondering, those of you who are lean, fit and fly along the route. When you pass a slow fat person why do you feel the need to say anything more than "Hi, nice day for a ride"? bikerHen

[teigyr]

Maybe they were just being polite? I usually ask people if everything's ok when they are pulled over because they might need help with their bike or they might need a tube or something.

I have seen lots of diversity while out on rides and have learned never to underestimate anyone. Who knows, maybe it was your gender and not your weight? Doesn't make it ok but sometimes people are condescending to us womenfolk.

I used to ride a mountain bike (my first bike) and did centuries. I put commuter tires on it and you would be amazed how many people treated me like a second class citizen. I figure I would exact revenge by outriding them and many times I did

Sounds like you're doing awesome. What's the configuration of your compact double? I have a 50/34 and had a 12-25 on the back and recently changed to a 13-29 due to general wussiness! I think you're doing awesome!

[limewave]

I agree, it could have been a gender thing. Also, when there is a new rider, someone I haven't seen ride with the group much, I always make a point to ask them how they are doing and if they have questions/need help along the ride. Just trying to be friendly.

[mimitabby]

well, Bikerhen, if you hadn't had to lay down in the street with your arms outstretched to blow your nose, I wouldn't have asked you if you needed some help.
ONLY KIDDING!!

it is a matter of perception. That's better than finding out someone was
really needing help and got ignored.

I'm glad you had a good ride!

[DarcyInOregon]

Bikerhen, I agree with the others. It is your gender, not your weight.

However I have been guilty of asking cyclists if they needed help. I live on top of a small mountain, right where the road goes from asphalt to gravel. During the good weather roadies will cycle up the narrow mountain road for their hill training. Last month a young healthy man was stopped near the bottom of my drive as I exited with my bike on the car rack. I rolled down my window and asked if he needed help. He looked bemused and said no, that he was merely eating and drinking.

It happens to me also when I am stopped by the edge of the road to eat and drink and be off the saddle. Now and then a cyclist comes by, and the newer cyclists tend to ask if I need help.

Kudos on your hill climbing yesterday. You should feel very proud of yourself.

Darcy

[Thorn]

So......when I'm riding and I see people on the side of the road and ask, "Mechanical or just enjoying the view?" I shouldn't be? I often ask, particularly if the rider is solo. I think of it as, if I was by myself with a mechanical problem, that I'd want someone to stop.

Hmmmm.....so, which is worse? Asking after someone? Or ignoring them? Or, is there a way to word the question so as to cover a "need help" and a "please let me enjoy the rest"?

[bikerHen]

OK FINE! The next time I stop to blow my nose I'll remain upright!

Like I said, I'm sensitive. But after hearing "Are you OK?" or "Are you doing OK?" or "Keep going your doing great" for four hours I get a little jaded. It was men and women so not just a gender thing. The more I think about it, it was my riding alone that may have sparked some of the concern. I will ask a person if they need help if it looks like they do, and I like being asked if I'm off the bike with multi tool in hand, but when I'm standing there stradling my bike blowing my nose? Duh, I've stop to blow my nose! bikerHen

[lauraelmore1033]

as offensive as unsolicited offers of help may seem, it's worse when you really do need help and you tell one of those kindly people that you are indeed in distress, only to see them zoom on down the road. I was having a serious mechanical problem on the side of the road a few weeks back and at least three guys asked, "are you ok?". I said, "no, I'm not ok," all three times and none of them stopped. I can't imagine why they bothered to ask!!! I have been guilty of asking if someone needed help, but that was only because I was fully prepaired to stop and render assistance if needed, but I suspect the majority who ask aren't.

[Veronica]

Sometimes as you're riding by, you're not exactly sure what the person is doing. I once asked a guy taking a nature break if he needed help.

V.

[SadieKate]

If someone is just blowing his or her snoz we probably won't say anything, but both hubby and I ask anyone and everyone regardless of gender, size, polka dots or stripes, if they need anything. I think everyone that I typically ride with does the same thing. It's just courtesy. If we can't immediately identify why they're off the bike, they get asked. We even ask if they have a tool in hand because some folks have tools but haven't a clue how to use them. It's a group effort to get everyone from start to finish. I gave a guy a tube yesterday and when I rode up on him he was pretty much the standing in the shade on a decent. He didn't look in stress at all but I asked anyway. Good thing I did. His tubes and patches were still in the car in the bag the shop put them in and he was hoping for a SAG to find him. But he got moi!

I guess the words "do you need anything" rather than "are you OK" may be better received?

[teigyr]

When I was on the Calif Aids Ride (which dates me, so I'm told!), I saw a guy standing by the side of the road off his bike on one of the ickier downhills. Being that I am the downhill wuss, I was going slow enough to ask him if he was ok. He looked kind of confused so I stopped. Turns out he had been speeding down the hill and his bike started shaking. He was able to slow and stop but it scared the bejesus out of him! He really was just scared and wanted to talk. After about 10 minutes, we both started out again where he quickly passed me downhill (I'm the only one I think who tends to go faster uphill than down) and I never saw him again.

You never know when someone truly needs something or when they don't. I know what it's like being talked down to and I realize it is frustrating. I think though you and every other woman on this site proves these people wrong every day because this is one of the strongest group of people I've ever seen. If people asked you if you needed help for any reason other than treating you as a person (instead of a female or overweight female or whatever), you make them look foolish by them that they're wrong to have preconceptions. If that makes sense

[smilingcat]

My querry is something like "how's everything?" I hope this is more neutral than asking "are you okay?" The latter assumes you are in trouble.

Might help others to rephrase the question a bit. And to biker hen, would a comment of how's everything be more pallatable? I'm asking because I don't want to be a downer on your good day of riding. And its really wonderful that you could climb the hills and have enough air to talk. best revenge is to start talking back until they run out of breath. .

How's the climb?
Don't you think its a lovely day out and oh look over there. A squirrel. How cute...
Wow this hill is really long. How much longer do we have to climb?...
Hill seems to be getting steeper or is it just me?
Oh good you are slowing down too I thought I have to ride by myself to the top.
It's getting really hot. I hope I don't run out of my water. How are you doing with your water...

I've been known to pull stunt like this to an unfriendly Fred & Barnys on a long climb. Sometimes, they realize I'm in better shape. If they get unfriendly, I'll drop them and say a parting word, "Its nice riding with you boys but gotta go" and take off. If the hill isn't too bad I'll shift gears into my 53 chainring and make enough of a racket doing so and take off.

BTW, I've learned not to help the guys out with their flats and other bike problem. A woman helping is just too much for the macho guys... Shheeesh, I've been riding bike way before some of these boys were even born...

meow meow
Smilingcat

[RoadRaven]

BikerHen, I understand how frustrating this can be, being not an elite cyclists physique and still dreadfully slow on hills compared to many. But I have come to accept the concerned questions and well-meaning encouragement - though at times I must admit to being peeved that anyone has talked to me!

However, if its any consolation, I ask every solo cyclist who is stopped if they are all right... even if they are obviously repairing a tube and seemingly obviously in control of the situation.

I do this for two reasons;

1. They may not have the right tools, or maybe would rather use my cell than repair and head home, or maybe they are out of food and on the verge of bonking and thats why they ran into rough ground and got a flat... etc... etc... just because you look "in control" doesn't mean you are.

2. They may have crashed, have slight concussion and only appear to be having a break. I learned this a month or so back during a race. I came to the first corner and there was this guy leaning on the fence with his bike beside him, looking like he'd had enough or maybe his tyre had blown and was waiting for the sag wagon. So I called out to him "You right?" and his reply didn't sound right so I dropped off the back of my grade and went back to him. Turns out Fred had slid on the corner, and although someone in his grade had phoned the starters to come get him, I noticed his helmet was all smashed down one side. His grade hadn't noticed that and as I waited with him he became more and more disoriented and was taken to hospital for concussion.

So I call out to everyone who is stopped, even if they have just blown their nose...
And everyone I pass (usually on the flat) I say hi to, and - if a stranger - try to guage how they are coping on their ride.

One thing I have learned is to never assume and appearances can be deceptive (like you and me, BH .... you might be big and female, but you ride 50miles - I have only managed that once! - ... and I may be big and female, but I can cane some guys who look fitter than me in a TT).

[Running Mommy]

Yeah Bikerhen, it happens to me too! I always wear my camelbak because I can not only carry my water, but my pump, spare tube, levers etc. in it. I know it's not the most aerodynamic, but it works for me. I can't tell you how many guys have told me that I'm wasting my time on a tri bike if I'm gonna use a camelbak. It negates the aerodynamics of the bike.
HELL! My WEIGHT negates the aerodynamics!!
But yeah, I get comments all the time. Esp. by what I call the "regulars". The guys I see all the time. They feel the need to tell me that I'm looking so much stronger than last year, and that I should just "keep it up" and I'll "get there"... Umm, I know this is mean't as a compliment, but Get WHERE???!! Where do they think I'm trying to "get to"???
It's like the lady I saw one day when I was out running. She asked if running was "helping". I was confused so I said "umm, I'm sorry. Helping?" and she said "You know. Helping to lose weight". My retort went something like this "I'm not training to lose weight. I'm training for an Ironman Triathlon. But yes, it does help to lose weight I suppose". She looked embarrased- as she should have been!! That's like asking a stranger when the baby is due!!!
Sigh.... I dunno. Just people not thinking before speaking I suppose?? - Or maybe I just have a complex. Living in the world of endurance athletes as a fat girl will certainly give one a complex!
Personally I smile and just say "hi" or "nice morning huh" or some other generic greeting. I only ask a stopped cyclist if they need anything if they are stopped with an obvious mechanical. Though I did see a girl melting once under a tree, so I stopped to make sure she was ok. She had run out of water, so I siphoned some out of my camelbak for her and pointed her in the direction of the closest water fountain (I know them all up here. As well as potties ). I also gave her some nuun tablets to put in her water. But if someone is just stopped I assume they are resting. I stop to rest, readjust chamois, etc. too. I think most people do at some point in their rides.

[DarcyInOregon]

It's like the lady I saw one day when I was out running. She asked if running was "helping". I was confused so I said "umm, I'm sorry. Helping?" and she said "You know. Helping to lose weight". My retort went something like this "I'm not training to lose weight. I'm training for an Ironman Triathlon. But yes, it does help to lose weight I suppose". She looked embarrased- as she should have been!! That's like asking a stranger when the baby is due!!!
Sigh.... I dunno. Just people not thinking before speaking I suppose?? - Or maybe I just have a complex. Living in the world of endurance athletes as a fat girl will certainly give one a complex!

Runningmommy, I looked at the photos you have posted, where you gave the link in your threads about your recent Ironman endeavors, and I can tell you I think you are an amazing looking woman. If anyone thinks otherwise, it is their problem for not understanding the physical and mental strength that is required to train for your sport, and be assured, you can out-swim them, out-run them, and out-cycle them. And on the inside, I bet you are healthier, with solid bones, superb muscle density, and with healthy cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar. In other words, you will never need to worry about getting osteoporosis, diabetes, hypertension or heart disease.

I don't mean to side-track the thread. It is just that females with extra body fat can still be fit and healthy and do incredible things because it is about eating right, moving the body and burning the fat off in the middle. A person can be in the desired weight range, but eating the wrong stuff, sitting on the couch, have thin bones and soft muscles, and end up dead from heart disease in their 60s.

To get back on track, when I pass other cyclists I just say Hi or Nice bike or Beautiful day, no matter what sex or age the cyclist is, or what type of bike they are pedaling. When other cyclists pass me, it is mostly Like your bike or Hi or Doing good.

Darcy