Can I do it? Can i give up chocolate?

[Thistle]

Ok this will probably be long and a bit boring, but my essential question is ... Can i give up chocolate?

Not for a week, not for a month, not for a year, i mean forever

I have used chocolate as my coping mechanism forever. I really mean forever. Since i was six and I was left on the other side of the world with people i didnt know for a year... awful time, eating has worked really well as a coping mechanism for me. Six year olds dont have a lot of coping skills and the woman i stayed with ate for comfort, and obviously found that worked to console me as well.

So, here i am at 46 almost 47. Very overweight and very frustrated. I have just been on a big cycling holiday which was heaps of fun except I was carrying an extra 50 kilos all the way round the 220kms we did over 4 days. No fun at all

I want to lose weight, but actually that's not my focus right now. I feel addicted to chocolate. I use it to numb myself - i know some of you will understand that. Other people use alcohol, drugs, probably cycling , but i use chocolate. It works, if i feel sad, angry, frustrated, upset - i can eat chocolate until i feel so sick that i'm almost vomiting (sorry to be gross ) and suddenly that "god i'm gunna be sick" feeling is so much stronger than anything else and my problems "no longer exist" - well until the "i'm gunna be sick" phase wears off - then if the problems are still foremost in my mind, i hit the chocolate again.

sorry, knew this would be long..

so part of me knows i can do this, i've known this for a while, and yesterday was easter sun and i've eaten so much chocolate i feel yuk! right now i am actually sick of chocolate . Yesterday i was thinking "maybe i'll just stop eating it" and this morning i woke up and thought "that's it, i want out of this addiction"... cos for me it is an addiction. I used to drink a lot of diet coke and i gave that up cos DH wanted us to give it up. That was 18 months agao, and even though I still feel like i'd die for a diet coke some days, i havent had one.

So can i do this with chocolate? I just dont think i'll ever have the ability to just have "some". I gave it up for lent one year and didnt have any for 9 months. I didnt even crave it anymore, but once i had some, that was it.

I think i can do this. I've just thrown out all the chocolate and chocolate drink stuff from our house. It's all in the bin. I'm nervous though, am I expecting too much of myself? DH says "maybe now is not a good time cos you're finishing your thesis", but as i said to him "when will be good? once the thesis is in, i'll be starting a new job and that wont be a good time either".

So seriously, I think i can do this and i think i will feel a lot better for doing it. I guess i just needed to put it all out there, and this is about the only place i feel safe enough to do it

Any opinions are most welcome

[mountainchick]

I love chocolate...and when I say I LOVE chocolate, I mean I have it everyday...but just a little.

I'm the same way you have been with diet soda. I don't drink any soda, and when I do I'll have a little and it just tastes too sweet.

I know I could never give up chocolate. Nope, nada, can't make me, try to make me and I'll crave it even more. And I'm overweight as well. Its just something that I've resigned that I'm not going to give up, and I have to improve myself in other ways.

Maybe you could give it up, and "treat" yourself once a month or something?? You'll lose the weight if calories out>calories in...just remember to make the right choices in all of your other foods.

Keep cycling...it sounds like you're already addicted to that if you went on a cycling holiday!

I don't have any real advice...just to say, don't give up and we're here for you.

And BTW...I'll be leaving the world of "up over" for the land "down under" this summer. I'll be in Brisbane and Sydney if you're in one of those areas or close to we can go riding!

[Thistle]

And BTW...I'll be leaving the world of "up over" for the land "down under" this summer. I'll be in Brisbane and Sydney if you're in one of those areas or close to we can go riding!

Hey mountainchick. i'm in canberra... about 300 kms SW of sydney. i'd love to go riding with you... any chance you'll make it to canberra? just let me know

[mountainchick]

I'll keep you updated, and I'll bring the chocolate! I kid I kid...

[run it, ride it]

Try gradually darkening the chocolate you eat. Milk chocolate can disappear by the bar, but 70% dark? You still get the satisfaction of chocolate, but it's BITTER, so you don't want to eat a lot.

Give'r a try! You don't have to give up chocolate, just give up the sweeteners in it!

[LBTC]

I agree with the others. Darker, healthier chocolate in reasonable portions is the ultimate answer.

But I think that your challenge is to get from here to there. And I don't disagree that cold turkey is the wrong way to do it. Perhaps after you've been chocolate free for a bit of time, you'll be able to sample a very different type of chocolate - 70% cocoa, organic or even beet sugar, etc; without having the same need to overindulge.

One other thought: I'm no professional, but your descriptions sound more like an eating disorder than a mere addiction to chocolate, and I wonder if you would consider seaking professional help?

Any way that you decide to do this, we're here to support you!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[ace]

Hi Thistle,

I feel for you, and can really relate, agewise (I'm 45), weightwise (at one point, I weighed 300 lbs- I'm 5'5), and addictionwise (have dealt with a disturbed relationship with food for most of my life). And dealing with an addiction to food is really tough. I think the main difference between being addicted to food and being addicted to alcohol/drugs can be summed up like this: when you become abstinent from abusing alcohol/drugs, you put the tiger in a cage, and leave it there. When you become abstinent from abusing food, you put the tiger in a cage, and then have to take it out for a walk three times a day. It is really hard to find the right balance between not abusing food, yet still being able to enjoy it.

Whatever anyone else says about their own relationship to chocolate, only you can know whether it's something you can never, ever have, or if you just have to cut back. But be careful about setting yourself up by saying you can never have it- forever is a pretty long time! Might be easier to just give yourself a goal of not eating it for a week, then see how you feel.

One thing that really helps me is I don't have any food in my house that I don't want myself to eat. If I'm going to have candy, I bring home a small packet. If I bring home enough for 10 people, I'll eat it at one sitting. This is one of the changes I've made that have helped me lose 85 lbs over the past 5 years (still got about 65 to go).

Be nice and gentle with yourself, and please let us know how your experiment is going.

Best,
Amy