DH Wants to race!

[7rider]

Hey all.
DH asked me a curious question today.
He basically wanted my permission to buy a Lemond he's been looking at so he can start racing. (Yes he just bought a fancy custom Seven, but he doesn't want to risk crashing it - so he wants a bike he can race - and trash - without crying over it.)
There are a few local races run regularly - small criteriums for the local teams/clubs. He tried one once a few years ago (before we met) and was DNF. He suggested we go and check them out.
He's pretty fast - and wants to get back up with the hammerheads on the A-ride with our LBS. But some of the guys on the A-ride get so testosterone-fueled during that ride, that a few recently came to blows and the shop owner banned them from the ride. I don't know if I want my honey hanging with that rough crowd!
Aside from spending money on something we patently do NOT need.....
I'm a little leery about giving the "okay" to get into racing.
Yet, I hate to be the nagging wife in the background who doesn't let her husband follow his dream.
What to do?????
Any words of advice?

[teigyr]

Hi Regina,

I say to support him. Talk to him about your concerns, of course. I think most people know when other people are acting out of line and hopefully he saw that in the hammerheads. I think he is right about getting a bike he can race on that is more "expendable" than the Seven. I know that any bike is an expense but Lemonds are fairly reasonable I think. Maybe, also, talk to some people who race.

I can only say things from my side because I am the one in the relationship who gets gung-ho to do things. While some of my interests cost more than others, the support of my spouse means SO much. When I started riding more, he got a bike. When I wanted to do a tri, he said it wasn't for him (good thing, this one is women only anyway!) but he would be there to support me. I think had he given me grief, I would have felt resentment and anger.

Who knows. He might race and enjoy it, he might race and think "ok, this was no better than before". Regardless, he is fulfilling something he wants to try to do. You can do the journey with him and if the worst thing that happens is you have an extra bike, so be it.

Just me though. I'm sure someone who races might have more insight as to the time commitment and how that would affect home life.

Has he said why he wants to race? Anyway...good luck. I'm sure you two can talk it over and come to a really fantastic middle ground.

Jane

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Yeah, everything Jane said.

There is no greater feeling than having a partner/spouse who supports you in exploring things (within reason) that make you feel happy or fulfilled. It just makes you want to support their endeavors and dreams all the more in turn.

[Offthegrid]

I'm not married, but I just wanted to throw in the idea of looking for a used Lemond for him to race in if money is a concern. Should be some people upgrading now that spring has arrived, so you might be able to find something that's in good condition for a reasonable price.

[Mr. Bloom]

You can't repress a competitive drive...he'll either repress the feelings and have them come in other ways or he'll resent the repression...

If he's not being unsafe and if you can afford the bike, I say go for it.

If he is being unsafe, you need to discuss your concerns so that he understands (but he'll still likely go for it)

If you can't afford the bike, then he needs to sacrifice something else to make sure that things stay in balance...this will also assure that it's a true desire and not a whim

PS: Silver is saying in the background..."Gosh, whenever one of the girls says 'I want a bike that I don't need', the groups says 'Go For It'...so, shouldn't the same standard apply to the guys are supportive of us????" I promise, it's Silver saying that and I'm dictating!!!!!

[aicabsolut]

Well, the CatV men's field has the reputation for being the most dangerous, but if he's fast, he can move up quickly right ? Is he going to race unattached or join a local club? Team tactics can really help, and being around wheels you trust help you stay safe.

As for the new bike, yeah, the general rule is don't race something you can't afford to crash. Though my only wreck so far has been on the stupid MUP. Women's fields are a little less scary and packed I guess...especially the collegiate ones. Then you have to think, would you spend more on the new bike than keeping up the custom one? How much performance is he going to sacrifice with the beater racing bike? This is a risky sport. Some races, CatV crits especially, may have a higher crash risk. But it doesn't seem much worse than those A group rides!

But really, I don't think racing is more dangerous than riding around District traffic. Especially if he wants to do crits, newbs often just fall off the back and get pulled because for those, recognizing what to do when and where to be in the field has a lot more to do with how you finish than how fit you are--unless you can just go off the front.

It's kind of late to start this year, but some of the teams around here have skills clinics in the fall/winter and there are practice races in the early spring.

I think you should support him if he wants to give racing another try. It's fun! Whether he needs another bike to do it is another matter. If it were me, I'd suggest that he do his training on his bike, attend more fast team rides (maybe with a gentler crowd!), some race skills clinics, and then see if he's still scared to race the Seven.

[GeorgusMig]

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