Dear Tech Support

[fixedgeargirl]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

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Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command: "C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME" to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

Remember, though, that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly 10.8. Whatever you do: DO NOT install Mother-in- Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support

[spokewench]

Hot Food 3.1 works for me; but lingerie 7.0 (or whatever) has ABSOLUTELY NEVER WORKED FOR ME????

I wonder what that says?

Maybe that Cycling 8.2 makes Hot Food 3.1 more desirable? or
Skinny Hard Saddle 2.0 makes lingerie 7.0 less desirable?

[Tri Girl]

Too funny!

[doc]

Excellent

[Bikingmomof3]

Very funny.

[Xrayted]

I sent that to some friends. Very funny. And accurate unfortunately.

[BikeMomma]

Hmmm....my Husband 1.0 skipped Beer 6.1 entirely and runs Snoring Loudly 10.8 at all times of the day.

Tears 6.2 has never worked, and Guilt 3.0 has only ever worked once, which booted Flowers 3.5 automatically (and with which I was not impressed). Jewelry 2.0 has never EVER worked and I demand my money back.

Not to mention, Mother-in-Law installed itself and Hot Food 3.0 runs entirely WAY too often, and has resulted in Husband 1.0 becoming too large a file. Hence, Lingerie 7.7 is totally worthless.

I must say, though, Tech Support is correct -- Husband 1.0 has very limited memory and mine does not learn new applications at all, even with repeated boots and re-boots.

I want my Boyfriend 5.0 back.

~BM