Small problems but at my wits end

[Thistle]

Ok, i feel a bit bad whinging about my problems, when i know there have been so many people with real problems lately - like cyclists getting killed and badly hurt.

But I am so fed up i need to write something

I work with this child.... she's 27 chronologically, but a child emotionally. She has been running a hate campaign against me for 3 months because I didnt go to a trivia night she organised. She claims it's because i asked to move out of her office - which i did, the two of us talked to much and our work was suffering - however that took place 3 months before she stopped talking to me and after i moved out we shared a hotel room for a week at a conference with no problem, so it obviously isnt about that!

She has a history of doing the no-speakies thing. And i'm partly to blame, cos when she's done it in the past i'm been so relieved when she started talking to me again that I didnt tell her how unacceptable her behaviour was.

So this hate campaign has gone on since 18th Aug. I could go on and on about it, but it's basically bullying - and plenty of it. This has been really upsetting, and i've had so much trouble getting past it. But yesterday I spoke to her supervisor (we are both phd students) and the supervisor is going to tell her she needs to be professional at work. Her supervisor could see it was clearly a problem with her, not me. So that made me feel better. Although it was surreal to have her supervisor ask me how she should approach the topic with the student

But everything else is getting on top of me too. I took this afternoon off to wait for the tradesman who was supposed to come last week (they didnt show then either) and when i rang to find out why he's late, they tell me "no, you've got it wrong, he's coming tomorrow". Anyway as i write this i realise how trivial it is.

So I think i'll calm down by going out into the garden. Big mistake - we have a neighbour who demanded we cut down a tree - we live in a new suburb so this is a big deal - we dont have many trees. He threatened to kill me... yes my husband was there and he can confirm that that's exactly what he said, because this guy doesnt believe "women should speak". Well because we have pets and they're home all day and we're not, i said to hubby we'll cut it down otherwise he'll poison our dog (i've seen him beat the living daylights out of another dog in the street, so i wouldnt put it past him).

So i get past losing the biggest tree in our garden for no reason, and while i'm angry about the tradesman i go outside for some calming nature - and to see why one of our other trees is not getting leaves. I noticed it as i drove out the other day (yes and i havent been able to ride all week because of appts and coming home for tradesmen ). Guess what? The tree is dead, as is the wisteria beside it. These plants were perfectly healthy up until a month or so ago. The wisteria had already bloomed.

I am so fed up. Why do crappy people get away with this type of behaviour. Neighbour has just left in his car, and i am so tempted to go and tip a pile of weed killer all over his garden, but i know i wont because i believe in karma and i believe you reap what you sow. So i just wont do it.

But i'm mad as hell and i want these selfish crappy people to get their just desserts. When will it happen

I sick of being teary and fed up. I try to be a good person who does the right thing and lately all i'm getting is crap (sorry about the language) in return.

God i'm sick of this. I just want to see someone who treats people badly get what they deserve. Is that so bad?

[mimitabby]

So I think i'll calm down by going out into the garden. Big mistake - we have a neighbour who demanded we cut down a tree - we live in a new suburb so this is a big deal - we dont have many trees. He threatened to kill me... yes my husband was there and he can confirm that that's exactly what he said, because this guy doesnt believe "women should speak". Well because we have pets and they're home all day and we're not, i said to hubby we'll cut it down otherwise he'll poison our dog (i've seen him beat the living daylights out of another dog in the street, so i wouldnt put it past him).

So i get past losing the biggest tree in our garden for no reason, and while i'm angry about the tradesman i go outside for some calming nature - and to see why one of our other trees is not getting leaves. I noticed it as i drove out the other day (yes and i havent been able to ride all week because of appts and coming home for tradesmen ). Guess what? The tree is dead, as is the wisteria beside it. These plants were perfectly healthy up until a month or so ago. The wisteria had already bloomed.

I am so fed up. Why do crappy people get away with this type of behaviour. Neighbour has just left in his car, and i am so tempted to go and tip a pile of weed killer all over his garden, but i know i wont because i believe in karma and i believe you reap what you sow. So i just wont do it.

But i'm mad as hell and i want these selfish crappy people to get their just desserts. When will it happen

I sick of being teary and fed up. I try to be a good person who does the right thing and lately all i'm getting is crap (sorry about the language) in return.

God i'm sick of this. I just want to see someone who treats people badly get what they deserve. Is that so bad?

So you DID cut down your tree? I am so sorry to hear that! YOu can't turn that guy in to the police for threatening you?

I wish I could tell you that bad people get their just desserts... Because i am not sure they do...

I have been going through some garbage with my own sister today and she sounds like your coworker. I thought everything was okay again and she's just turned the page and wants to quibble and pick on MORE stuff.

Hang in there and don't let those people get you down!

[Thistle]

thanks Mimi. I did ring the police when he threatened me and lodged a report, but the policewoman said there is little they can do unless he actually does something to me

He's a pretty unpleasant guy, he came close to physically assaulting me, and i was really worried about our pup. I could just see her eating bait and dying slowly while i wasnt home.

Sorry to hear about your sister. It sucks when it's family. I know, cos half of DH's family dont talk to us or his youngest brother... cos DH and the youngest went out, married and got a life. The remainder of them still live at home at 44, 42, 40 years of age. And they've never moved out play duelling banjos at this point!

[light_sabe_r]

Theav! Just throw your pup's poo into his veggie patch. ^_^ Or better yet in this drought stricken climate we're experiencing... THROW IT ON HIS ROOF SO IT'LL BE WASHED INTO HIS RAINWATER TANK! REVENGE IS SWEET!

He'll have no idea why his drinking water tastes so bad...

Actually a mate of mine had a rat die in their tank... She kept wondering what that weird taste in the water was... When her dad found it the whole family dry wretched and ordered a lot of spring valley water.

Anyway Tell him to move go back to the dark ages. It's 2006 and women have been granted equal rights for almost 110 years in this country!!

NOW on with the tree. You could always do what NOOSA CITY COUNCIL does and what the Redlands Shire and Brisbane city are looking to adopt.

A shame game.

Erect a sign out the front of your house that says something like

"These trees have been poisoned by a heartless man looking to improove his view" Noosa also places the fine for damaging private/council property and a crimestoppers number on there.




As for the other girl at work. What is it with researchers and our odd personalities eh?

I work with a girl who comes from a farm. did her degree in Equine studies, I'm a country girl too so I thought we'd get on.

We don't. Our personalities REALLY clash! Since she has gotten here she has made my life miserable. i try to be nice and give all the time I can give but it started eating into my own work time.

Now she keeps complaining her persnal space is being invaded. She claims everyone yells at her (including our supervisor who can't yell to save her life but will yell to cheer on the Broncos!) AND as an extra annoyance she puts on a "I'm so sweet and innocent" voice on when she's on the phone! YARGH!!!! ;_;

Plus she keeps harping on about how her contract ends in january. SO We're in Science. EVERYONE is on one year contracts!!


Yup I feel your pain. No ideas other than keep talking to your supervisor and ignore her unprofessional behaviour.

[Velobambina]

Be patient. Karma is the great leveler and while it might not be apparent or happen quickly, what goes around will come around for the mean folks. In the meantime, maintain your dignity, don't give them any reason to be mean to you (be polite to them, in other words), and try not to waste your energy on them.

[doc]

I recently had a bunch of mean people dump on me too. One example:
I am a volunteer soccer coach on a little local league for 8 & 9 yo girls. One mother accused me of purposely not notifying her that our soccer team had a game so that her daughter, who isn't the best, would not be there and we'd win. In fact I did email her, but in one of those email glitches, she didn't get it.

Meanwhile I am volunteering my free time for this. Plus, I rotate every kid in an equal amount of time, and in whatever position they want to try, because this is supposed to be fun.

I know that sounds small, but when you think about it, she is accusing me of being so cruel and selfish and mean that I would exclude a little kid from her own team just to win a game. I was super hurt by the accusation. So I told her so. She proceeded to yell at me some more, demanding apologies, and as for me? Her exact words were, "Get over it". I literally cried that night.

So my point is, we have no control over the people around us. We can hold our heads up high knowing we did the right thing. And then we have to do something nice for ourselves because we deserve it. I feel your pain and frustration!

[guanajagirl]

hey the small things add up so quickly. Sometimes you have periods of life where you feel like your going around knocking your shin into somthing. Nothing thats gonna kill you but it sure hurts like hell. Keep your principles and good luck dealing with your neighbor. Sounds like a nut case :eeek: