Advantages of Being a Woman

[CyclChyk]

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

28. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

[Kitsune06]

I hate to admit it, but I fail 6, 9, 11, 12, 13, 23, and 27. *sniff*

[CyclChyk]

well since we are being honest, I fail at 7 & 13 & #15 really does amuse me. Altho it drives my DH nuts when I do it.......not ladylike ya know?

[Kitsune06]

ok, 15 amuses me, too.

[Bikingmomof3]

Ah, I not only have Fletch memorized, I can also recite Fletch Lives.

[HipGnosis6]

I failed at #3 with the most recent ex. Why? His clothes didn't fit me because I'm three inches taller than him and outweigh him by fifty pounds. He was the first boyfriend with which I did NOT fail at #10.

And I fail at #11, too. Just because I'm an Amazon and generally have short hair.... ugh. I hate having gal friends start acting all sketchy around me because they get it into their heads that I might be gay. Seriously, when I bring you flowers then you can worry about it.

#21.... Caddyshack and Fletch, not so much, but even the ladies in my social circle are expected to know the followup line for anything Monty Python ever did.

[doc]

I hate to admit it, but I fail 6, 9, 11, 12, 13, 23, and 27. *sniff*

I don't think you fail 11 and 12 if you are gay. Because you're still not wondering!! More importantly, you and your friend are not worrying!!

I just don't know women who worry about friends being gay. Who cares? Men on the other hand...

[mimitabby]

sorry, can't do 13, 20... and 16 ? need a shave?? is my beard that obvious?
what's to shave?!

[CyclChyk]

Ok so I admit that even tho I am not gay I have imagined a chick or two sans clothing........ but thats becuase I fully appreciate the female bod and its finest. And I did have a gay friend who tried to put the moves on me. Not sure it she wasn't my type or I am definately not gay or all of the above.

[mimitabby]

Ok so I admit that even tho I am not gay I have imagined a chick or two sans clothing........ but thats becuase I fully appreciate the female bod and its finest. And I did have a gay friend who tried to put the moves on me. Not sure it she wasn't my type or I am definately not gay or all of the above.

Cyclchyk
it says "WITHOUT HAVING TO" implying that some people just do it ALL the time.
(Gosh, so much energy!)

[Cali Sunshine]

sorry, can't do 13, 20... and 16 ? need a shave?? is my beard that obvious?
what's to shave?!

uhh i think they mean legs. and some women do have visible facial hair.

[Bluetree]

1. We got off the Titanic first.
I always thoughtt it was the rich who got to the boats first... the poor in the lower decks were left to their fate.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
I've never had a support guy return my calls. I usually have to wait on hold forever and then try to get past a guy with a thick Indian accent.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
I tried that once because I heard men think it sexy. I put on the BF's dress shirt and the sleeves went past my knees. Sexy? He couldn't stop laughing.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
Being a groupie sounds almost as bad.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
Never.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
True, but I did think Racer X was pretty hot. Almost. Er....

7. Taxis stop for us.
Never had to flag one down, wouldn't know...

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
That is sad...

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
You haven't seen me dance.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
Guys appreciate it when you pick up the check, or at the very least, offer to do so. It's only fair.

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
I'm not a casual hugger. Besides, does anyone really care anymore?

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
See 11.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
I don't get this one...

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
Not sure I get this one, either.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
So very true. Although, sometimes it is pretty darn funny!

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
BF knows. He once told me he knew he was going to "get some" when he notices my legs are freshly shaved.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
I don't know too many guys who do that

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
Tell me how!

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
Where would they go?

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
Dumbness is never cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
Yeah, but I know all the words to Blazing Saddles and Spinal Tap.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
And boy, does my bank account feel it!

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
Most of the time.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
Or very, very lucky

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
Why would anyone think it weird?

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
I'm an oddity-- I don't like chocolate.

27. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
I have about 50 pairs. Does that make me a multiple personality?

28. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
Men love the navigation systems!

[latelatebloomer]

I didn't make it past #6. Johnny Quest. He made me feel things I didn't understand....

[Kitsune06]

*cough* Anyone play FFX? and you know what, some characters make the movies... to the point you really wish they were real... like Trinity or Eartha Kitt's Catwoman...

[CyclChyk]

Cartman's my hero..........especially when he puts on the bikini

Its a joke guys/gals if you prefer.............. I found it on the web, thought it was cute and wanted to share. So many of us take life too seriously. Laugh at yourself once in awhile. No I have NEVER cried to get out of a speeding ticket, but it works then go for it! If letting a guy buy you dinner cuz he asked you out makes you feel special, then let him (and no, I am not going to analyze your self esteem issues if you do). If buying a new lipstick makes you feel good, then YEH you are doing better than me cuz I still prefer drinking my bottle of wine. Yes I said BOTTLE.

No I don't question my sexuality but if I wanna hug a chick and notice how firm her fake boobies are then I will - Laugh people!!! Geezz.............