Valentine musings

**SadieKate** · 02-10-2006, 09:49 AM

This time of year I am always struck by the multitude of advertisements about what he can give her for Valentine's Day. I never see any ads for what she can give him or better yet what each can do for the other.

I know, capitalism reins supreme but I think it is sad that we haven't advanced enough to at least get ads about women giving something to their male partner. I dislike the stereotyping of women's expectations.

The very first year Bubba and I were dating he went on a cruise with his mother over Valentine's. His father had died unexpectedly the summer before and his mother already had tickets for the cruise. So, he stepped in as her escort. Made my heart go pitter-pat that he would do such a thing. The cruise was all retiree-age so it wasn't like he was getting other fun and games.

Can you tell I'm gagging over the volume of diamond commercials? I'd barely recovered from the ones at Christmas.

**Pedal Wench** · 02-10-2006, 10:03 AM

Wow! That just brought tears to my eyes! You've got a winner with that Bubba of yours!

**yellow** · 02-10-2006, 10:11 AM

We're not "holiday" people, so we don't "celebrate" this one. We also don't buy each other "gifts" for Christmas. We do buy each other gifts, just not on a holiday schedule!

I've had two Valentine's Day encounters over the last week. The first one was on the bus, going skiing. People I see pretty much every time I ride that one. A couple of young guys were musing about "what to do for their girlfriends for Valentines Day" and I popped off, mostly to myself, with "Every day should be Valentine's Day". They just looked at me like I was from another planet. I'm sure they were thinking "But I can't afford to buy a diamond necklace every day." I refrained from explaining what I meant. I think they think I'm just a crackpot old lady anyhow.

And yesterday we had some guys here at the house doing electrical work. One of them says to the other,"So what are you going to do for your wife for Valentine's Day?" with a sigh that told me he thought of it as a chore. I too dislike the sterotypes and really feel for guys like this. So much pressure to spend money and be extra sensitive on one day of the year. Am I just weird or do most women really expect a big to-do on Valentines Day?

Oh, and when you don't have a TV and you had to turn the radio off because of the Utah legislature coverage (la-la-la-I'm not listening) you don't have to listen to the Tom Shane commercials.

**Trekhawk** · 02-10-2006, 10:20 AM

Originally Posted by yellow

Am I just weird or do most women really expect a big to-do on Valentines Day?

If you are weird then so am I. You dont want to get me started on about Valentines day. The kids have a party at school for it. Please tell me what Valentines day has to do with primary age children????

My husband and I refuse to buy into this whole thing. I do prefer unprompted displays of affection.

**Nanci** · 02-10-2006, 10:22 AM

I think (most) men think of any gift-giving occasion as a chore- birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, anniversary.

I, OTOH, _love_ giving gifts, shopping, figuring out really cool stuff- so I love all the gift-giving days.

And I _do_ like the traditional VD trappings- flowers, dinner, (maybe cooked at home, maybe by me) and Godiva truffles!

I have a funny story, but actually have to do some work, will post it later...

Nanci

**Veronica** · 02-10-2006, 10:24 AM

No party in my class. If the students bring Valentines they can hand them out, but that's it. And they have to give to everyone an dno playing favorites.

We don't celebrate it at home either. I figure Thom gave me a Valentine when he didn't gripe about me eating all the Klondike bars this week.

V.

**SadieKate** · 02-10-2006, 10:29 AM

Isn't ice cream high on the glycemic index? Therefore, you need it as training/recovery food and the calories don't count.

Good for you on the V-Day activities in the classroom. A romantic holiday and children? I'm with you and Trek.

**Trekhawk** · 02-10-2006, 10:30 AM

Originally Posted by Veronica

We don't celebrate it at home either. I figure Thom gave me a Valentine when he didn't gripe about me eating all the Klondike bars this week.
V.

LOL - what a great guy.

I would probably gripe. Mmm Klondike feeling very hungry now.

**SadieKate** · 02-10-2006, 10:37 AM

Long but interesting article. Just what we need, school children participating in fertility rites.

http://www.historychannel.com/exhibi.../?page=history

If you aren't doing nice things for each other every day, giving diamonds 1 day a year isn't going to help.

**bikerchick68** · 02-10-2006, 10:38 AM

Oh man... this is a sore subject for me too... I just recently realized that I AM A GUY! LOL... my friend mentioned this holiday and my first thought was how to get out of it...

the man I'm dating already said he wants to get me something

crud... I don't wanna do gifts... and I don't want him to either... I told him so, but he's determined he wants to get something... he's not a cyclist so it makes it hard...

Maybe tickets to the Michael Buble concert... I think I can handle sitting thru that... not really my thing, but he likes him...

I said, can't we just go have dinner and skip the rest??? Sigh... he asked my clothing size... should I mention that I could use more cycling shorts and give him the SKU number???

just dinner... please...

**Nanci** · 02-10-2006, 11:10 AM

Ask for a red/pink cycling jersey!!

If you're a guy, my BF is a girl. I had to put on his new license plate this week because he couldn't get the screws out...

Nanci

**Nanci** · 02-10-2006, 11:13 AM

My French ex-BF of lots of years ago went with his friend in Miami to shop for an engagement ring for the friend's GF. Ex-BF mentioned that he had got me something expensive and shiny, too! You can guess what I thought. Imagine my disappointment when I opened my present to find a gold manicure set in a pretty woven leather case! Hehehe, I still really like it, though.

Nanci

**slinkedog** · 02-10-2006, 11:51 AM

I guess I'm the only one who loves Valentine's Day! Mainly because it's an excuse to make fudge and cook a nice dinner. We have a special meal as a family, and Blaine gets stuff for the girls and I get stuff for the boys. We usually do balloons and candy. It's just fun and the kids love it.

**SadieKate** · 02-10-2006, 12:08 PM

But see, slinke, you are doing for each other. You're putting in time together. It's not just Blaine buying you diamonds.

It's the stupid diamond commercials that really drive me nuts. Like the only way a man can really show a woman he loves her is to buy her diamonds and he's a loser if he doesn't. Grrrrr.

**bcipam** · 02-10-2006, 12:23 PM

I'm of the inclination that one keeps holidays in their heart year around and don't need a specific holiday such as Valentines to let someone know I care. I also don't do the presents at Christmas thing because it takes away from the spiritual aspect of Christmas (at least for me) but do give presents to my family and friends whenever I can and more than that, try to say or do a kind thing for people near and dear to let them know how much I appreciate and love them.

Nove if someone wants to give me a box of See's candy for Valentines, I wouldn't complain!

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